ecstoic
05-29-2007, 06:20 AM
Alright.
So... I had this girlfriend. From the start, I always called her my lover. And we were together for over a year. Well, we've broken up a few times, and we've both made mistakes in this relationship. but that's only human right?
I've been married before. I've been divorced. And I've been in a lot of relationships. I know it sounds cliche, but I've never felt this way about anybody and I know that she's the one for me. I have known that almost since I first met her.
Anyway... she's been pregnant with my kid (I have no doubt in my mind that it's mine) since about february. She's like four and a half months now. and her belly is finally starting to grow substantially.
about a month ago now, she cheated on me. And she ended up breaking up with me. I begged for her back. And after a few days, she asked if she could have me back; of course I said yes. Well she disappeared that day soon after asking me, and was hanging out with the dude again. she ended up breaking up with me again when I finally saw her the next day. Then for about two weeks, she was still leading me on. she would still kiss me, but not as much. we had sex a couple times since then. I gave her massages atleast twice a day, and I just started treating her the best I could because I realized that she was really stressed from her nanny job and from being pregnant. During those couple weeks, almost every night, I would stay up all night waiting for her to come home. She would say she was going to come home and just never did until 8 in the morning. So I was a wreck. Drinking all night waiting for her. Smoking two packs of cigarettes a day (mostly at night). During the day, she wouldn't talk to me on the phone much, and would text message me which was driving me nuts too. I wasn't eating much at all . Anyway, one day I was hanging out with her at her nanny job half the evening, and she said I had to leave about an hour before the mama was coming home. So I left, went to a gas station, picked up a beer and some smokes, then drove back to the place and parked down the road. I figured that she was going to see him in the last hour. And after about 20-25 minutes, the dude showed up. So I figure they were having sex or something, or I guess I wanted to find out if they were because she told me that they only kissed. So I went to the backyard and through the blinds, I see them together. The way she caressed his face, and kissed him so sweetly, made me so jealous. And it's probably the worst memory I have in my life. Never before had I felt so helpless and alone. So I go inside the front door and told her I needed to talk to her outside. She flipped out and said she wasn't ok with me doing that and that I needed to leave. Wouldn't even talk to me for a minute. So I waited outside for her to leave because I wanted to tell her "look... I can't do this anymore. blah blah blah" and instead of her coming outside, when the lady she nannies for came home, the mom came outside and talked to me for a minute. She was really nice and she felt bad for me because she knows that I love this girl to death. So I left and after like 30 minutes, she starts sending me a bunch of text messages and trying to call and I just didn't pick up. Anyway. This happened again the next day. And that's when I decided that I never wanted to see that happen again. she felt violated and she's half way over it now, but she's still not as comfortable with me as she was. So she's still dating this dude and it sucks because I know he's using her.
We were supposed to spend mother's day together, but she kind of blew off those plans. I bought her an $80 necklace with four blue topaz leading up to a square opal. really pretty and that's her birth stone. got her a dozen pink roses, her favorite color. I ended up not even seeing her at all on mother's day. so naturally, it kinda made me doubt whether or not it was mine.
I was supposed to take her to her doctor's appointment to get her first ultrasound, but she texted me at midnight the night before the appointment and said she was gonna go alone. No reason. so rude. And wouldn't even talk to me about it and tell me why. So naturally, again I doubt whether the baby is mine or not.
We were supposed to get lunch together on saturday before I was going to the deftones concert in nashville at around 4. Well, I woke up at about one, and started calling her. she ignored my calls all day. I called 58 times. And half the reason I was calling was because she was going to give me $20 that she owed me so I could get gas to go the concert. I ended up not being able to go. Wasted $150 on three tickets to the concert. it sucks. I show up at her house (that she kicked me out of a couple weeks ago) at about 7-ish and she was sooo suprised to see me. Said she called me a few minutes before I got there. She didn't. I had no missed calls. So I know she's still lying to me atleast sometimes and that bugs the crap out of me.
So I did manage to get her to admit that she has had sex with this guy a few times. But she said it so spitefully , and I told her that she didn't mean the mean things she was saying and that she knows that.
So that pretty much brings us up to date. she's being a little bit nicer than she was, but she still won't answer my calls most of the time, but she does call me back eventually half the time. I guess that's progress.
I'm finally done being a wreck and not crying about it anymore. I feel a lot more grown up now and I have a much deeper appreciation for the small things in life. The simple things that bring the greatest pleasure. I'm leaving her alone most of the time because I know that she needs space.
But I still know that she's the only one for me. And that I have to get her back. I'm really excited about having a kid. I never thought I'd be saying that, but really I am so excited since I finally came to terms with the idea of having a kid. I realize how much it is going to change my life, and that it will be around for the next twenty years. I'm only twenty one. So that's hard to comprehend.
She still says "I love you" when I tell her that. She still talks to me about her pregnancy stuff and I just love to listen to her talk about anything these days.
Anyway. My question is this. Does anybody have any advice as far as trying to get her back goes? I kind of feel like once this baby is born her feelings will change. I'm either going to be the only one there when the baby is born (that is, unless she changes her mind the night before), or she will have her best friend from highschool there. I'd imagine that the big event of the birth will bring out really big feelings. I know that for the first time in my life, I feel like my life has some kind of purpose. And I've never loved somebody like this. So ... advice please?
<3
Thanks in advance
-Joe:rolleyes:
So... I had this girlfriend. From the start, I always called her my lover. And we were together for over a year. Well, we've broken up a few times, and we've both made mistakes in this relationship. but that's only human right?
I've been married before. I've been divorced. And I've been in a lot of relationships. I know it sounds cliche, but I've never felt this way about anybody and I know that she's the one for me. I have known that almost since I first met her.
Anyway... she's been pregnant with my kid (I have no doubt in my mind that it's mine) since about february. She's like four and a half months now. and her belly is finally starting to grow substantially.
about a month ago now, she cheated on me. And she ended up breaking up with me. I begged for her back. And after a few days, she asked if she could have me back; of course I said yes. Well she disappeared that day soon after asking me, and was hanging out with the dude again. she ended up breaking up with me again when I finally saw her the next day. Then for about two weeks, she was still leading me on. she would still kiss me, but not as much. we had sex a couple times since then. I gave her massages atleast twice a day, and I just started treating her the best I could because I realized that she was really stressed from her nanny job and from being pregnant. During those couple weeks, almost every night, I would stay up all night waiting for her to come home. She would say she was going to come home and just never did until 8 in the morning. So I was a wreck. Drinking all night waiting for her. Smoking two packs of cigarettes a day (mostly at night). During the day, she wouldn't talk to me on the phone much, and would text message me which was driving me nuts too. I wasn't eating much at all . Anyway, one day I was hanging out with her at her nanny job half the evening, and she said I had to leave about an hour before the mama was coming home. So I left, went to a gas station, picked up a beer and some smokes, then drove back to the place and parked down the road. I figured that she was going to see him in the last hour. And after about 20-25 minutes, the dude showed up. So I figure they were having sex or something, or I guess I wanted to find out if they were because she told me that they only kissed. So I went to the backyard and through the blinds, I see them together. The way she caressed his face, and kissed him so sweetly, made me so jealous. And it's probably the worst memory I have in my life. Never before had I felt so helpless and alone. So I go inside the front door and told her I needed to talk to her outside. She flipped out and said she wasn't ok with me doing that and that I needed to leave. Wouldn't even talk to me for a minute. So I waited outside for her to leave because I wanted to tell her "look... I can't do this anymore. blah blah blah" and instead of her coming outside, when the lady she nannies for came home, the mom came outside and talked to me for a minute. She was really nice and she felt bad for me because she knows that I love this girl to death. So I left and after like 30 minutes, she starts sending me a bunch of text messages and trying to call and I just didn't pick up. Anyway. This happened again the next day. And that's when I decided that I never wanted to see that happen again. she felt violated and she's half way over it now, but she's still not as comfortable with me as she was. So she's still dating this dude and it sucks because I know he's using her.
We were supposed to spend mother's day together, but she kind of blew off those plans. I bought her an $80 necklace with four blue topaz leading up to a square opal. really pretty and that's her birth stone. got her a dozen pink roses, her favorite color. I ended up not even seeing her at all on mother's day. so naturally, it kinda made me doubt whether or not it was mine.
I was supposed to take her to her doctor's appointment to get her first ultrasound, but she texted me at midnight the night before the appointment and said she was gonna go alone. No reason. so rude. And wouldn't even talk to me about it and tell me why. So naturally, again I doubt whether the baby is mine or not.
We were supposed to get lunch together on saturday before I was going to the deftones concert in nashville at around 4. Well, I woke up at about one, and started calling her. she ignored my calls all day. I called 58 times. And half the reason I was calling was because she was going to give me $20 that she owed me so I could get gas to go the concert. I ended up not being able to go. Wasted $150 on three tickets to the concert. it sucks. I show up at her house (that she kicked me out of a couple weeks ago) at about 7-ish and she was sooo suprised to see me. Said she called me a few minutes before I got there. She didn't. I had no missed calls. So I know she's still lying to me atleast sometimes and that bugs the crap out of me.
So I did manage to get her to admit that she has had sex with this guy a few times. But she said it so spitefully , and I told her that she didn't mean the mean things she was saying and that she knows that.
So that pretty much brings us up to date. she's being a little bit nicer than she was, but she still won't answer my calls most of the time, but she does call me back eventually half the time. I guess that's progress.
I'm finally done being a wreck and not crying about it anymore. I feel a lot more grown up now and I have a much deeper appreciation for the small things in life. The simple things that bring the greatest pleasure. I'm leaving her alone most of the time because I know that she needs space.
But I still know that she's the only one for me. And that I have to get her back. I'm really excited about having a kid. I never thought I'd be saying that, but really I am so excited since I finally came to terms with the idea of having a kid. I realize how much it is going to change my life, and that it will be around for the next twenty years. I'm only twenty one. So that's hard to comprehend.
She still says "I love you" when I tell her that. She still talks to me about her pregnancy stuff and I just love to listen to her talk about anything these days.
Anyway. My question is this. Does anybody have any advice as far as trying to get her back goes? I kind of feel like once this baby is born her feelings will change. I'm either going to be the only one there when the baby is born (that is, unless she changes her mind the night before), or she will have her best friend from highschool there. I'd imagine that the big event of the birth will bring out really big feelings. I know that for the first time in my life, I feel like my life has some kind of purpose. And I've never loved somebody like this. So ... advice please?
<3
Thanks in advance
-Joe:rolleyes: