Wanting someone you can't have...

[lisa843]

Has that ever happened to you?? What do you think the reasons were??

were they or you not ready for a relationship?

or were they out of your league or etc.?


How do you get to the point where you realize you can't

realistically have a relationship with that someone??

[Penguin_Woman]

As humans...I'm sure all of us experienced that at one time. I think it's perfectly natural. The question is, what do you do when you get them? Do you no longer want them? If that's the case, then there is a problem. :)

[~Teej~]

Ouch Goldie...You really know how to strike at my inner pain...But you all know about that, I don't want to bore you with it again. :(

[lisa843]

I am very sorry. I did not mean to do that...I was just trying to add something to the board. I have been there done that as well. :( But, it's all about sharing and supporting...that's what helps me get by and go on. :)Ouch Goldie...You really know how to strike at my inner pain...But you all know about that, I don't want to bore you with it again. :(

[lisa843]

that is a very good question. I don't do that..but I have a sister that was like that....As humans...I'm sure all of us experienced that at one time. I think it's perfectly natural. The question is, what do you do when you get them? Do you no longer want them? If that's the case, then there is a problem. :)

[aussiecoffee007]

i am definitley guilty of that, i always dont want someone and i end it and i dont want to be with them AT ALL and then when some time has passed i miss the thought of it, not them persay, and then i want them to like me again but i dont want to get back in the relationship. it doesnt really make sense, its just something ive figured out about myself. still working on the why part of that.

[EC]

always dont want someone and i end it and i dont want to be with them AT ALL and then when some time has passed i miss the thought of it, not them persay, and then i want them to like me again but i dont want to get back in the relationship.

Some of us like chasing the highs, normal human nature, at the same time it's a bad habit we all should get rid of, in my opinion. While we're there being confused about how our own minds work the person on the receiving end would suffer and will eventually put down the controller and stop playing our games.

Unfortunately these people have high tendency in failing to appreciate what they already have and wish for what they have not.

[mashmac]

QUOITING GOLDIE: How do you get to the point where you realize you can't
realistically have a relationship with that someone??

... guess you realize it when they dump you and break your heart? ;)

[lisa843]

yeah, that would be a big clue.:) But I was thinking of when you were just "longing" for someone or "crushing" on someone...not actually been in a relationship...but wanted one with them....lol QUOITING GOLDIE: How do you get to the point where you realize you can't
realistically have a relationship with that someone??

... guess you realize it when they dump you and break your heart? ;)

[mashmac]

I see... not sure about that actually. Well - guess if they aren't available, if they are not from your cultural background... I am trying to think but again I should shut-up cause think last time it happened I was in high-school and I think I was too shy to do anything and he never new! I thought he was so much better than me but that was kids stuff.

As an adult - I don't really think you have anything to lose unless you tried.
It doesn't matter who/what they are - you will soon know if they are interested.

Are you talking about a specific scenario?

[lisa843]

I did have something in mind when I asked....but I'd rather not go into too much detail right now. There was this guy I was interested in and he was interested in me at first ...then things kinda cooled down?? There were several things in our way...age was one...and distance....but, anyway??? I do appreciate all the advice and insight....thanks. :) I see... not sure about that actually. Well - guess if they aren't available, if they are not from your cultural background... I am trying to think but again I should shut-up cause think last time it happened I was in high-school and I think I was too shy to do anything and he never new! I thought he was so much better than me but that was kids stuff.

As an adult - I don't really think you have anything to lose unless you tried.
It doesn't matter who/what they are - you will soon know if they are interested.

Are you talking about a specific scenario?

[mashmac]

But you are still in touch? And you clearly still have a "thing" for him...

[Hot Red]

Yes, but only because the person(s) in question which I wanted were involved. And I'm not one to be a home-wrecker so... take my loss and bear it I suppose.

[lisa843]

yeah...but I am cool with just being friends now....But it took a while to get there...:)But you are still in touch? And you clearly still have a "thing" for him...