Please help me! what do you think about this??

[Lovie]

Please need your advice!!
I'll try to make it short:
At one point in my life I decided to learn to make the first move myself not to wait for a guy to do it, and my first excercise i decided to do on-line. So i added a guy from a cool school on a social networking site. At first it was just shirt messages, then long private messages, and at one point i realised that i'm really interested in him and basically his messages mean so much to me!! I just wait for them the whole time.. So right now the most important question to me is IS HE INTERESTED?? He knows that i am, he always replies to my messages the next day (tho never on weekends!), yea, i try to put my best pictures up and stuff too :( it's been like that for a couple of weeks. In his profile even tho it says he's in relationship it also says he's looking for dating. If you ask other guys they'll say i'm very attractive, but is it enough to make him interested in me? And the biggest problem is that he's in europe and i'm in america..... .... is it ever gonna work? I know that the only person who can answer this question really is himself, but still, i really need your advice, maybe you'll be able to objectively see the situation.. maybe he just replies to me to look polite and stuff?? what do you think??
p.s. yes today is weekend, and whenever i don't recieve anything frm him for 2 days like that i'm nervous he's NEVER goona reply again, i know it's dumb to just sit there and wonder but i can't help it.. :(

[**Sapphire**]

Well the first & big warning bell to me is he has a girlfriend, but yet he puts on his profile he's looking to date??

Do you seriously want a guy that has someone else??

If he's in a relationship & it's not working out, then he needs to talk things out & either work on it or break up with her.

Now for a long distance online thing, I have seen in the past long distance relationships work online when the couple are very far away. It's hard, but can be done.

[Lovie]

**Sapphire**
well, maybe he forgot to change the status :( and it was me who contacted him first so if i didn't he probably wouldn't write to anyone like that..
are you saying there's hope :) ?

[**Sapphire**]

Even if he forgot to change his status, he still has someone. That needs to be respected by you, even if you both are countries away from each other.

Professing your love online is just as bad as doing it in person when someone is in a commited relationship.

I'm not saying there is any hope, I do not support cheating on the person your with in any way shape or form.

Think about this, if he can profess sweet things to you online, if you 2 get together down the road, what's he going to do to you? Not only that, he could be playing head games with you since you are online. There are MANY people that do that online because they can & they get their kicks off of hurting others.

[Lovie]

Even if he forgot to change his status, he still has someone. That needs to be respected by you, even if you both are countries away from each other.

Professing your love online is just as bad as doing it in person when someone is in a commited relationship.

I'm not saying there is any hope, I do not support cheating on the person your with in any way shape or form.

Think about this, if he can profess sweet things to you online, if you 2 get together down the road, what's he going to do to you? Not only that, he could be playing head games with you since you are online. There are MANY people that do that online because they can & they get their kicks off of hurting others.
Well, that's the thing, you don't know what's really going on between him and that someone he's in relationship with, maybe they are on the point of breakup or maybe it's just a joke.. besides people tend to change their minds, get together, then find someone else they like more, break up, get together again..

[**Sapphire**]

So since you have your mind made up, what is the point in signing up here looking for advice?? I've given you advice based on what you have told us here, that is my opinion & thoughts on the matter, if it's not what you want to hear sorry, but I don't condone cheating or the possibility of cheating.

You say I don't know what's going on with this guy, neither do you for sure. You both are countries away & he can tell you any/everything he wants & you would believe that he is telling you the truth because you care for him & want to believe the best about him.

No matter what is going on with this guy, he still has a GIRLFRIEND/WIFE & until he breaks it off with her & is HONEST with you about it that should still be respected & he should not be looking for another relationship while he still has someone.

Sorry we here at ATLF will not sugar coat things & I certainly won't either. If you don't like the advice given to you here, there are other love forums you can find. Maybe 1 of them will tell you what you want to hear.

[Lovie]

So since you have your mind made up, what is the point in signing up here looking for advice?? I've given you advice based on what you have told us here, that is my opinion & thoughts on the matter, if it's not what you want to hear sorry, but I don't condone cheating or the possibility of cheating.

You say I don't know what's going on with this guy, neither do you for sure. You both are countries away & he can tell you any/everything he wants & you would believe that he is telling you the truth because you care for him & want to believe the best about him.

No matter what is going on with this guy, he still has a GIRLFRIEND/WIFE & until he breaks it off with her & is HONEST with you about it that should still be respected & he should not be looking for another relationship while he still has someone.

Sorry we here at ATLF will not sugar coat things & I certainly won't either. If you don't like the advice given to you here, there are other love forums you can find. Maybe 1 of them will tell you what you want to hear.
life is more complicated than that i think =) It's like a game with no rules .. ..

[stoner]

Well, that's the thing, you don't know what's really going on between him and that someone he's in relationship with, maybe they are on the point of breakup or maybe it's just a joke.. besides people tend to change their minds, get together, then find someone else they like more, break up, get together again..

You are absolutely right ... you don't know what is really going on between him and whoever he is in a relationship with. IMHO, it's between him and her, and none of our business to begin with.

Let's a$$-u-me that he is in a relationship (regardless of the current nature or status of it), I sure hope that you don't become the instigating #2 who snags the man away from the #1. Who knows? Maybe someday, he'll make it more clear to you about his availability status and ready to engage in a committed relationship with you. In the here and now, however, I'd steer clear from this guy if I were you.

Good luck.

[**Sapphire**]

Stoner I think she wants to be the instigator, so let her do what she wants to do. She has her mind made up that this guy that's in a relationship however good or bad it may be, that she's going to go for him. I think she's another online PLAYER so let her play the games. She already stated that life is a game, so there you go my friend in how she's thinking.

Life is NOT a game, life is what YOU make of it. If you choose to make your life a game by playing games with people then yeah YOUR life is a game & IMO...nothing but a joke that will backfire on you eventually.

[Lovie]

Maybe someday, he'll make it more clear to you about his availability status and ready to engage in a committed relationship with you. In the here and now, however, I'd steer clear from this guy if I were you.
Ok, he said when i asked if he's into long and serious or short relationships that he's really busy so he doesn't have any serious relationships yet and didn't have too many short ones either, that he keeps looking but hasn't found anyone he would really click with..
How am i an instigator then? ...--and not a word about that status or that girl--... I'm confused :(

[**Sapphire**]

How about straight out asking him if by his status if he is seeing someone? If he is serious about her?? If there is anybody at all in his life?