Getting Over a Relationship Break Up with Dignity and your Head Up

[Davey Crockett]

Getting Over a Relationship Break Up with Dignity and your Head Up

Being in a relationship is a sweet feeling to experience. You feel virtually special to someone that is important to you as well. You feel cherished and your happiness seems unending. It is a life of beauty, of goodness, of satisfaction, of warmth and love. Who ever invented this enigmatic feeling? It is overpowering each and every life on earth and encompasses everything that we do.

A relationship is not discriminatory, they are between couples; couples with other partners, younger lovebirds and more and more juvenile love. Between same sexes, between the extremes of opposites from teen with an old lover, teacher and student, and so much more, the possibilities are never ending.

When you dreamt of finding your Romeos and your Juliets, it arouses your search for true love and the bad experience of meeting the wrong lover. When the Martians found the planet of Venus, everything that is real turned in to a stained glass, thoughts were clouded by melodramatic reasons all because they love. Melting down the defenses which you have built for almost all your life.

A relationship begins with two people liking each other; they walked hand in hand in places they go to, sing songs together, and looked beyond the struggle of life as if nothing can tear them apart. Reactions falter, and love withers as years pass between two people. They have fallen out of love. For what reason? Love has never ever found a reason, but in falling out of it, there are several. It could be because of a third party, or insecurities, jealousy. or for any other reason, (place your own reason here).

Falling in love is always magical. It feels eternal, as if love will last forever. People naively believe that somehow they are exempt from the problems their parents had, free from the odds that love will die, assured that it is meant to be and that they are destined to live happily ever after. But as the magic recedes and daily life takes over, Without a clear awareness of their differences, not taking the time to understand and respect each other. Couple become demanding, resentful, judgmental, and intolerant.

But then life goes on. We cannot allow ourselves to wallow in our misery, we have to stand up and emerge a better person from it all. Though this is easier said than done, a relationship break up is not the be all and end all, here are some tips to get you over the next few days, weeks and months.

Breaking up with a partner is the hardest part of anyone's life. The first step to recovery is to acknowledge that the relationship is over. It is a dreadful struggle for some people.
Take the time to recover, its ok to have a mourning period, just don't let it consume too much time.
Give yourself a treat. If you're really feeling down, go on a weeks vacation. Take the time of and recoup yourself. Go somewhere were you have always planned to go.
Reward yourself, go shopping. Enjoy your time alone.
Call your friends. There is no need to be lonely, go out, see a movie, go to a club and go dancing.

Just remember, don't open yourself up to the dating scene yet. You are still on the rebound and this may just cause you more damage and pain.

[encoder]

• Breaking up with a partner is the hardest part of anyone’s life. The first step to recovery is to acknowledge that the relationship is over. It is a dreadful struggle for some people.
• Take the time to recover, its ok to have a mourning period, just don’t let it consume too much time.
• Give yourself a treat. If you’re really feeling down, go on a weeks vacation. Take the time of and recoup yourself. Go somewhere were you have always planned to go.
• Reward yourself, go shopping. Enjoy your time alone.
• Call your friends. There is no need to be lonely, go out, see a movie, go to a club and go dancing.

I already did every one of these tips and I can't still go on. Anyway its just 2 months after my break-up. It's like everything I do, it reminds me of her. That may be the reason why I can't go on yet.

[c_thina00]

I think the best thing you can do is make yourself busy, like make more friends, play games, go to night clubs, study hard,watch movies or find someone who will love you?!

[AJ The Don]

Exactly the same over here... i caant seem to get over her i've even written a couple of songs decribing how i feel hurt and betrayed... i just dont know what to do and it feels like i cant find anyone else you know i have been looking and theres a couple of people who piqued my interest but i still manage to think of her a lot.....:confused:

[chief86]

I know exactly how you guys feel...it's been almost 5 months for me and I still hurt everyday and I still think about her...I still love her more than anything. I just want the pain to go away.

[mashmac]

thank you for your comforting words. It's been almost a year and I still am not over it. I have two beautiful kids, a job I enjoy, a busy life, friends, I travel....
It's taking so long...I am starting to think It will never end.
And yet just when I think I am getting better - I relapse and touch rock bottom again. I has to end, it's human nature, common sense but this is truly the hardest, most painful experience I ever had to deal with and it has changed me forever.

Thank you all for giving me hope - I've been searching for a forum like this one for months and I finally feel as if I came home. I am sorry I am commenting and writing so much. Feel free to ignore me!

Love to all,
mashmac

[Tuxgal]

Don't apologise. We love active members. We're so glad you feel home here. That's exactly what we strive for. :) The human heart has an amazing ability to heal. You will get better in time. We're all here for you.

[mashmac]

I love that "May God smile on me today" - that's great Tuxgal. Today was actually quite a bad day for me - I had a relapse again. How to mend a broken heart..... But now I can come here and I just don't feel alone anymore.

God bless.

[aussiecoffee007]

stay super busy! thats always whats helped me. hanging out with friends, reconnecting with some unintentionally ignored relationships...

[jacqo]

Thanks for the article.It's so interesting.

[chaRecca]

Interesting topic..
I was wondering how it feels in those moment because I've never experience those but I never wanted to experience or feel those feelings in those kind of situation because i see ppl that i know experience that and made me think and feel that its really painful and hard..

[raybork]

I think people just don't realise the pain of loss can last for a very long time, for some that feeling never goes.
Maybe there was no proper closure, and they can't move on with their lives.
There may be hope that one day their ex will come back into their life.

You really do have to make a commitment to mentally let go. Only then then can you move forward and start living your life again.

[BeachGirl]

I had a breakup that was extremely painful. One piece of advice I heard over and over was "stay busy". This is good in theory, but I already had my hobbies and it wasn't easy for me to expand those or have them consume more of my time.

One thing I did was go to the gym. And I went probably everyday (during the week at least). I didn't go overboard but I ended up getting in super good shape! And, although I was still sad....very sad....it was something to do that became a routine and would, even if only for that hour at the gym, would take my mind off of how unhappy I was from the breakup.

Every day without fail, I would make myself go to the gym and it became a constant in my life that I could count on.

Another side affect of working out was I had more energy, ate healthier and felt better about myself in general! It's a self esteem booster at least!!

Just an idea for anyone needing something to do :)

[raybork]

BeachGirl has given some great advice. Not only will regular exercise help boost energy levels, exercise also releases endorphines in the brain which helps us feel good!

[Billie2008]

I exercised alot after my break up, and for two months I was VERY SAD. In my 3rd now and whilst I miss her, I don't cry, I'm busy all the time, busy meeting new people, she will always have a special place in my heart and will cherish the moments we had, the love I had for her, safe in the knowlege I did my best.

Love is great when it works, sucks when it doesnt. But keep busy.

[DanDennick]

Billie2008 is onto something actually. They have studies now that show that excercise (particularly cardiovascular) exercise helps balance the brain and can a kind of "emotional reset" button.

Jogging worked really well for me when I just wanted to get the constant repetative thoughts out of my head and get some releif.

[quotes]

breaking up is a normal thing..we can't expect our first to be our last and one and only..
we just have to enjoy the experience and don't give our everything to that someone...

[Sidni]

"Just remember, don't open yourself up to the dating scene yet. You are still on the rebound and this may just cause you more damage and pain."

Part of the reason I broke up with my boyfriend was to be single again. I don't find rebound to be all that bad. Don't try and commit to a relationship obviously, but being out there and flirting and going on dates isn't all that bad. It's helped me. I'm not a "love junkie" but it definitely boosts your confidence and helps you realize there is more out there than that other person.

[misssl]

Breaking up is difficult.
I just ended a relationship, one of the hardest things I have had to do. The first couple of months it was hell. I was very down on myself, picked myself to pieces.
Then one day, it just "clicked". I don't want to be upset over a guy. Or in some cases a girl. I think that if you are upset about a relationship all the time, or concerned... or worried, you really should think twice about being in that relationship.

To keep my chin up, I began setting goals for myself. Started running and eating right. Made list of what I needed to get done and accomplished my goals. The best advice I have ever gotten was "Take one day at a time."
Another way was when or if I thought of him, a song came on that reminded me of him, or came up in a conversation, I would change my thoughts quickly, change the station, or change the subject.
"Change" is the key word there. Your life is changed now, you are without that person.
Change something about yourself for the better.

[charaze]

I already did every one of these tips and I can't still go on. Anyway its just 2 months after my break-up. It's like everything I do, it reminds me of her. That may be the reason why I can't go on yet.

nobody said getting over someone is easy. :) it would just be a matter of time until you healed yourself, your heart.

1. Take your time, make yourself busy.

2. Surround yourself with your family's presence, your friends.

3. Stop listening to songs that you and your ex used to listen to or songs that make you remember the old times. Listen to songs about independence, being happy.

4. Think of the things that you fear of doing like bungee jumping, zip line or any adventurous stuff that you're afraid to even try. It could be anything. Then, all you gotta do is try that stuff regardless of your fear. That'll give you the adrenaline rush that you need.

[jfrancess]

I already did every one of these tips and I can't still go on. Anyway its just 2 months after my break-up. It's like everything I do, it reminds me of her. That may be the reason why I can't go on yet.

If you can't move on forward with your relationship, I encourage you to try out Emotional Freedom Therapy. It's a nice technique to free yourself of these bonds with your ex and to help you move on...

It's fast. But you have to do it every day for about twenty days to make sure that it has long term effects. Just search for EFT on youtube and you will find a lot of videos with more info on it.

Regards,
Jennifer

[LeilaLee]

I think the best thing you can do is make yourself busy, like make more friends, play games, go to night clubs, study hard,watch movies or find someone who will love you?!

That is really the only way to forget thinking about someone who hurts you. Loosing a friend stays hard. Nobody can take the pain away. You need time and you have to develop your own strategy.

[jjacobs7842]

Very interesting article. I must say I did a pretty good job in accepting what was over and It's exactly what I did. I also think that what he did help me to get over everything of what we had.

[cbreez]

I think the best thing you can do is make yourself busy, like make more friends, play games, go to night clubs, study hard,watch movies or find someone who will love you?!
yes that is it stay busy, find other interests that will take your mind off of the other person.