The Noel issue

[Rockchick]

This message is related to my headings Sexual fantasies and With Noel or When I was with Noel. The current information on him so far from when I met him to the recent is - he still hangs out with sister and they love to smoke a plant, he is with his ex girlfriend Paula sometimes, doesn't want a serious relationship, likes casual sex with female friends who he is into, believes there is only one woman for him but he hasn't met her yet, he wants a woman who can handle his lifestyle and he is too shy to chat women up or score them, he likes to get drunk and stoned and loves sex, his job as a band manager is very hard work but he loves it, he loves music is obssesed with it, it is his love but he hates talking about music outside of work, he said he doesn't want to hang out coz we have nothing in common and I spoke or asked him things he didn't care or know about, he is sorry for his strange behanviour but as he quotes "sorry dont mean to be like that. I just am. I think its more fake me being nice & talking about stuff i don't care about.i hate talking bout music outside of work.do you mind not txtin me anymore?I will always chat when I see ya but i don't feel the need for us to have 1 to 1 chats.ur prob right about other stuff." What do you make of that???. He told me he is only with a woman who he gets on well with, likes, is cool, is really into but doesn't feel that a relationship with her would work. He was with me once remember???. He also said later that a man won't know whether or not to date a woman if he is not with her first so he gave me the impression that he was testing the water works, he said he was interested in me when he was with me but couldn't explain why. He doesn't like texts but we used to text each other alot regularly but then he stopped and later on gave me a reason of too busy to chat, or too drunk to text, only use my phone for work. He said at the begining that he doesn't score or date a woman who is a sister of his good friends because he may loose her friendship because of it if he hurt her sister so he never goes down that path but he did with me. Noel said I am very cool, a nice girl, fun, easy to get on with, innocent and hot and that he would hate the thought of any man taking advantage of me. He called me his friend and said one time in the car " I am your friend even though you may have other friends but I am your friend anyway he said with a hug. He likes everything about me except the fact that I worry,limit myself and he thinks I am too sheltered living with my mum at home and that I should get my own place, take risks, be more spontanious in life, open-minded and see the real world. How do I know what I said or what I asked that annoyed or bored him???. what is your advice and opinion to me on this matter?. Yes he is the person I physicall, mentally and sexually fantasise about him and he isn't in my life anymore but he is in my sisters life still and they both want to be friends forever... What about me! wawa! :confused:

[**Sapphire**]

I think I told you in 1 of your other threads that if you want to know why he isn't interested in you in the way you are to him, you have to TALK to him about it.

Also, maybe after he was with you, he realized that you both are better suited as friends. You can't make him like you or be a 1 woman man with you.

Maybe friendship is the best thing you can get with him.

[~Teej~]

From what you have written here it seems to be that friends is all you are going to get from him...he doesn't seem able to give or want to give you a relationship so it's best to move on and either accept you can only be friends or cut him out of your life completely so you are able to move on from the way you feel about him.

[Rockchick]

Well the problem is he doesn't want to hang out with me but he will always chat to me he says when he sees me. I do visualise us kissing and sometimes making love or having wild passionate sex in various places and the times he gazed at me and smiled at me from accross the room and he said i said something or asked him something whic he didn't care about and i don't know it was that effected him in that way. so what should i do?.....:thumb:

[**Sapphire**]

I don't think there is much you can do. If he doesn't want to hang out with you as a friend, there's no way you can make him hang out with you, or even like you as much as you like him.

Maybe it's best that you just let him go from your head & if he contacts you, wants to hang out etc., then you can go for it. If he doesn't then you can move on & maybe meet someone else that is interested in you.

[Rockchick]

Frustrated, I was either walking towards he was or he was walking towards where I was today and he stoped, smiled and asked me how I was doing and I felt very awkward, I told him that I was upset and why and he said I did tell you several times that I was too busy for friends, he said the same thing three times which drove me mad and he said :I am sorry that is just the way I am, I am making lots of friends, I hang out with your sister Kim coz she is in Dublin and in Sligo as well coz I am good friends with her for years, I am very busy, I don't have time for hardly any of my friends but maybe just 10minutes laugh, I am busy now at the moment, "Chat you later!. I was at home upset then. Why is Kim so important to him and I am not?. I still do fantasise. What can you pick up from Noels speach?

[**Sapphire**]

As I said before, it seems that maybe he doesn't want to be friends. Maybe he really is too busy to be able to spend time with & hang out properly with his friends.

If Kim has been his friend for years then maybe she is used to him not hanging out with her that much so that's why he considers her a friend. :dontknow: