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View Full Version : Going our seperate ways


jupiter54
09-04-2009, 08:16 PM
This is in a way a continuation of this thread: http://www.asktheloveforum.com/relationship-forum/showthread.php?t=6116

I expect this is going to turn out to be a long post, but I think it's therapautic to get things out in the open. But basically, long story short: I liked a girl and made advances on her, she flirted back, friend decided he liked her too and tried to "cockblock" me. One minute she seemed eager to be friends, next she said she's been hearing that I've been talking about her and her friend a lot to people and then began to avoid me, which I strongly suspect he played a hand in (judging from the things he said to me). Some other people may have said things about me to her too.

I tried to explain to her what happened, repeatedly, but she ignored me. The next time I saw her was in a nightclub, where after a couple of hours she stemmed to courage to tell me she was not interested in a relationship with me then turned her back. When this happened, I pretty much knew we were done. We never spoke to each other again after that. I also swear I saw her flirt with another guy (not the friend, someone else), but she said to me once that university was more important to her than dating and a relationship would just distract her. I think this is true because she has been single for at least a year now and has pretty much pushed away any guy that made advances on her.

A male friend who would always hang out with her has now left her; I used to see them together all the time but now he has all but vanished. He believed that he was her boyfriend, or at least that's what he told me, but she told me otherwise. I think though I can make an educated guess at what happened; he realised he was never going to get into her pants. I think she kept him around as a backburner, just to leech male attention from him to fill in the void of not being in a relationship for a long time. I expect that is what she tried to do to me when he left her, but I made it clear to her I wanted a relationship with her and hence she vanished.

The friend who tried to cockblock me I think is falling into the same trap as me and her other male friend did. He thinks that he'll get into her pants, but I think he's deep inside friendzone, because from what I heard she rejected his advances once before. But occassionally he'll send her smarmy messages on facebook and she seems to enjoy the attention he gives her. She gave me mixed signals, showing signs that she's interested and yet says she's not, which makes me believe she only wants the attention but does not want to reciprocate.

So she's kicked me to the curb, and I've tried really hard to keep my faith in her but she's lost it. I resent her. I don't think my non-existent friendship with her is worth salvaging. But we have not spoken to each other in months and soon we go back to university and it seems inevitable that I will see again quite soon. So I'm considering cutting off ties with her for good, deleting her off facebook ect ect. Though how to respond if she seeks me out again? And if I start dating another girl and ignoring her and she gets jealous or gets upset I'm withholding attention from her, what should I do? If I was never going to see her again then this won't be a problem. But I really want to see how she reacts when I start ignoring her and begin dating other girls. It could be the only revenge I'll get. I guess I'm just a cynnical jerk getting wound up about people who don't give a **** about me. What do you guys think?

**Sapphire**
09-08-2009, 01:18 PM
Welcome back, we have missed you. Thank you for the update too, you know we do love those. :)

I think you are doing the right thing in getting rid of her as a friend & also someone you were interested in. If she is playing a form of head games then it's best that you, for yourself get out & forget about her.

I would delete her from your life & move on. If you see her at college & she says Hi, you can be polite back & say Hi, maybe chit chat about unimportant things. If she does ask you why you have deleted her etc, then be honest with her, tell her that you don't like being played with as a friend.

Anonymous89
12-09-2009, 02:47 PM
I think you should cut all ties with her and not speak to her again. And I think it's not worth getting revenge on her by dating other girls and making her jealous. Sometimes, it might even backfire.

I guess the best revenge is to lead a better life than her, to be happier than her, and if she ever meets you one day, and she sees the glow in you, she will realise that she had lose a great catch.
Hope this advice helps. =)

dawningstar
12-10-2009, 02:28 AM
It is not worth trying to get revenge, take her off your email and facebook and avoid any sort of confrontation.... if you do see her in the halls or anywhere just smile and keep walking...

Eventually people find out the truth and they will soon understand and if not well, it is your life and you need to enjoy life without that kind of stress besides revenge in the heart will keep true love far apart!!!! Meaning that if you have revenge on your mind it comes out in attitude and in personality and people sense and see it and someone who could give you true love and friendship might be frightened away...

Good luck in life and love....