Your on the first date and everything's going great until

[gaddes]

he/she says they won't have sex anymore until they are married.would this be a problem for you?Could you really put off having sex for 3 or 4 years just for this person?

[Penguin_Woman]

Wow....3-4 years? I dunno. There's more to life and to relationships than just sex, but that is a long time. I guess it might depend on their definition of sex? Do they equate it just with intercourse? My guess is I would really have to think about it (and prolly invest in a good toy). 'Tis a noble thing...but I dunno if I could hold out. :)

[gaddes]

Wow....3-4 years? I dunno. There's more to life and to relationships than just sex, but that is a long time. I guess it might depend on their definition of sex? Do they equate it just with intercourse? My guess is I would really have to think about it (and prolly invest in a good toy). 'Tis a noble thing...but I dunno if I could hold out. :)

lol samehere

[aussiecoffee007]

haha well i am one of those people, whos staying chaste til marriage, but... my boyfriend doesnt mind the wait. i mean, hes willing to go without it (hes not a virgin) until im ready for it... the not having sex has never really been an issue for us though, it hasnt hurt our relationship in any way... quite the contrary... ;)

[mashmac]

The concept of dating is still a complete mystery to Europeans like me....
We don't have anything similar here. :bike: :flock:

PS: Note that my icons often have totally nothing to do with the topic!
Just fun...

[Tuxie]

Wow....3-4 years? I dunno. There's more to life and to relationships than just sex, but that is a long time. I guess it might depend on their definition of sex? Do they equate it just with intercourse? My guess is I would really have to think about it (and prolly invest in a good toy). 'Tis a noble thing...but I dunno if I could hold out. :)
;)

haha well i am one of those people, whos staying chaste til marriage, but... my boyfriend doesnt mind the wait. i mean, hes willing to go without it (hes not a virgin) until im ready for it... the not having sex has never really been an issue for us though, it hasnt hurt our relationship in any way... quite the contrary... ;)
I commend you for your stand on this. In this day and age, it's refreshing to find someone with this mindset.


To Gaddes ~ Yeah, this would be tough to wait. But as someone special I know said, "True love will find a way". I guess it would depend on what the relationship is built on.

[Penguin_Woman]

You know...I've thought more about this. If it was truly the first date and we had no real history prior to that, it wouldn't matter much. Nothing really saying we'll be together long enough for a second date much less 3-4 years. Sometime along the way a decision would have to be made if they become your S.O. But yeah...if I loved the person, I would wait. :)

[~Teej~]

If it's only the first date I wouldn't worry about it so much..You will know after a few more dates if you like her enough that it doesn't matter.

if she is the one and you feel that strongely for her then you will wait. :)

To be honest though I don't know whether I could if I was in your shoes.

[aussiecoffee007]

yeah, i agree, date her for a bit and see if shes the type of woman you could wait for... because if you really love her, the wait isnt so bad. i promise :)

[mashmac]

Regardless of dating....

Ok - here is me the good Catholic girl..... Lapsed Catholic... I am not sure I could wait that long if I really fancied someone. I don't think so. But I guess that is because I know what I would be missing out on. Sorry Tuxie! :)

[Tuxie]

Regardless of dating....

Ok - here is me the good Catholic girl..... Lapsed Catholic... I am not sure I could wait that long if I really fancied someone. I don't think so. But I guess that is because I know what I would be missing out on. Sorry Tuxie! :)
Hehehe... that's ok Mashmac. I didn't say I've been an angel either. ;) @ Tuxette

Not everyone is the same. Everyone handles desires differently. To some, the thought of chastity is just so strong... that they have little problem 'holding out'. But I do agree with aussie, the wait would be worth it. :)

[aussiecoffee007]

yeah it can get hard because humans are sexual beings and you need an outlet somewhere, but... i mean the wait can get tough and stuff because you reeeeally want to just share that experience with that person and you always think, well does he really have to be my husband to do that? why not my fiance or just serious boyfriend or love?
haha yeah im sure itd be easier to wait if youve never experienced it... but then again my boyfriend is fine with the wait and hes had sex before and it wasnt even an issue, agreeing to wait... i didnt even have to ask him, he just said he respects me and loves me and im worth the wait :o

[lisa843]

I don't know?? It would all depend on the situation..I need more details. lol :) he/she says they won't have sex anymore until they are married.would this be a problem for you?Could you really put off having sex for 3 or 4 years just for this person?

[cold dark]

he/she says they won't have sex anymore until they are married.would this be a problem for you?Could you really put off having sex for 3 or 4 years just for this person?

It depends.

Is it a test to see what kind of person I am? Is it because they are conservative/religious?

If everything else was fine, I'd probably give it a couple weeks to see how I felt about the person, and then go from there.

[pika]

if i were to meet a girl who might have countless relationships and tells me that unless we get married if not we will not have any sex.....
it tells alot of things, and im rather conservative.....
i'll think i m the luckiest man if i truly love her.....

possession of someones first is a nice feeling.....

but if it were a guy to say this to a girl.....what would the girl feel???

[aussiecoffee007]

a guy that is willing to wait too, that can hold off and values a woman like that, i think is quite attractive :) means hes after more than your body

[EC]

Nope, not for me. Life's too short too waste, who knows if you'll get hit by a bus on the 1,094th day laying there on the pavement having your last thought "I didn't have sex for almost 3 years!!" :D lol

Just do what you're comfortable with but if it bothers you (Which it probably is bothering you otherwise you wouldn't post in the first place) then you'll have to communicate. Is this woman the be-all-end-all that you can wait for her for 3 years? Ask yourself if it is going to affect how you may feel in 6 months, a year, or two years time. Are you sure you won't seek affection, connection, and passion elsewhere? Really?

How would you know what she'll feel like later on down the track? What if she wonders what it'll be like to have sex with another man as she gets older? Sure these people have their values and believes, however it's a risk you'll have to take. All religious believes aside, I am talking about basic human nature and instincts here, the rules we all never fail to follow.

[joehash]

I personally am waiting as well... so naturally, I'd be ok if a girl said she wanted to wait :)

[aussiecoffee007]

joehash! we are twins! in the way that we are both waiting. way to go, man. nice to have someone else around who feels the smae way :)

[Riggs]

he/she says they won't have sex anymore until they are married.would this be a problem for you?Could you really put off having sex for 3 or 4 years just for this person?

To be honest, I don't know. I can go w/o sex, but 3 to 4 yrs? :eek: I would be afraid I would forget how to. LOL No, really, I don't know. If I really love this person, I guess I would try, but she may not see any other room but the bedroom for a long time after we get married. :D LOL

Just joking. Yes, I can wait.

[Penguin_Woman]

I personally am waiting as well... so naturally, I'd be ok if a girl said she wanted to wait :)
Good for you. :D

[anniemov]

if i were to meet a girl who might have countless relationships and tells me that unless we get married if not we will not have any sex.....
it tells alot of things, and im rather conservative.....
i'll think i m the luckiest man if i truly love her.....

possession of someones first is a nice feeling.....

but if it were a guy to say this to a girl.....what would the girl feel???

I am a girl, if my date tells me that, I would think:
"what a wonderful guy, I never had to worry if he has any health problem"... but the risk would be, what if I find out he is a gay after we got married.......

I've decide to not do it until married, not for religious reason, but to test both of us.