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clueless24
08-08-2009, 06:21 PM
thanks everyone for reading and commenting! =)

I am a bit confused about my feelings/friend's feelings toward me. we have been friends for a few years now and have been really close with no previous problems. i am 26 and have been in a relationship for the last 7 years and have not really had much dating experience. my ex and i decided to "separate" since we don't have the intimacy we used to anymore. we still keep in contact and go out together sometimes but nothing intimate. i have never had feelings for this friend before but recently i developed feelings for him but am really afraid to show it because i am not sure how he feels. he's always been interested in my relationship problems/status but it could just be genuine concern for a friend.

we go out together on the weekends a lot and study together often. he had commented a few times that i was a really good friend of his and "like a sister to him" so from that i gather that he's not interested. he also talks about how hot other girls are and asks me for my opinion about his "potentials". however, when we go out and i am not quite so sober by the end of the night, we would go home with friends and he would always have me on his lap and his arms around me. he would text the next day to see how i am and all that.

last night, i crashed at his place instead of going home. it's the first time i have crashed at his place. he has some girls and guys from the club over and i was feeling a bit tired so i went to one of the extra rooms to sleep. he came in and tucked me and made sure i was comfortable then went back to his friends. in the middle the night, he opened the door and woke me up bc he said his dogs wanted to sleep with me. because he doesn't want one of his dog with a bad back to sleep in a high bed, he told me to go down to the basement room where the bed was lower so the dogs can sleep with me. so i went down to the basement with the dogs.

i thought he was going to sleep in his bedroom but instead he brought a pillow and slept next to me in the same bed. we said goodnight and remained on separate side of the bed till morning when he leaned over and put his hand across my chest pulling me closer. i woke up and told him i was getting up to take the dogs out. since it was still early, i got back in bed and neither one of us reach reached over so we just slept for a bit more. i got up later and took him to his car and left.

i am sure if he's showing interest or if i am just reading more into it because i am drawing from my own feelings . i would appreciate any insights/comments/suggestions about this. i am not a type of person to go ask him or initiate anything but i would really like to know what's going on . he's younger than i am by 2 years so i guess he's still out and about. thanks all for reading and commenting! i appreciate it.

Tony
08-09-2009, 02:46 AM
I think this shows the respect for you that he has
maybe ask him if he would like to take your friendship to the next level
talk to him about your feelings as he is a very good friend in my opinion that should not put your friendship on the line so yeah have a chat with him share your feelings he may well feel the same way toward you.

**Sapphire**
08-09-2009, 02:01 PM
I agree with what Tony said, have a talk with him & see where things go from there.

Best of luck & if you do decide to talk to him, keep us posted, we do love updates.:)

clueless24
08-09-2009, 10:18 PM
Thanks Tony and Sapphire =)

i just dont have the courage or the confidence to ask him =(. i wish i could read guys better. do guys express their interests in other girls or talk about them with you if they are interested in you? maybe he's just comfortable around me and has no other intentions. but i'll definitely keep you guys updated though =)

**Sapphire**
08-09-2009, 10:36 PM
Some guys would do what you've asked. It all depends on the guy though clueless.

You will never know what's in his heart if you don't gain the courage & ask him & tell him how you feel.

clueless24
08-09-2009, 11:16 PM
i know i will never know what he feels unless i ask but i secretly hopes he would just tell me :p. do you have any suggestions as to how i should approach him? in case he doesn't feel the same way, i wouldn't feel so embarrassed =) thanks!

**Sapphire**
08-10-2009, 12:28 PM
I'm not sure, you could wait until you feel again that he may have some feelings for you, like if he's giving off signals.

clueless24
08-11-2009, 03:34 AM
i hate waiting but i guess i'll have to =) he just sends all these mixed signals so i dont know if i'll ever pick anything up. besides, i tend to stay on the safe side so i tend to reason myself into thinking it doesn't mean anything. if he feels anything for me then he'll step up sometimes, maybe ??? :dontknow: thanks! goodnight :D

**Sapphire**
08-11-2009, 12:00 PM
I would think if he did like you he would step up & let you know, but then again he may be shy. Maybe he doesn't think you feel more for him so he doesn't want to say anything.

If he's sent you enough mixed signals over time why not talk to him sooner rather than later? You can use those mixed signals as an example of why you are wanting to talk to him about it.

clueless24
08-12-2009, 03:06 AM
he's not the shy type of guy at all. he goes up to girls and talks to them all the damn time =). There's no other reason why he hasn't stepped up yet other than no interest. we were studying today and i went outside to talk to one of my guy friend, who is also a mutual friend of his. i was out there for a while so he came out and asked who i was talking to. i told him who and so he took the phone from me and talked to our friend. he was complaining that his back hurts so i stood behind him and started rubbing his shoulders but he pulled away. i am assuming he's not interested ??? =(

**Sapphire**
08-12-2009, 12:49 PM
I don't know, maybe because his back hurt you rubbing his shoulders hurt it a bit more.

If he isn't interested in you as more than a friend, you do still have him as a friend & that's a good thing.

clueless24
08-14-2009, 02:47 AM
yeah i suppose a good friend is hard to find =). yesterday we were studying and he was explaining to me that his parents would have a cow if he would marry someone who's not Indian or catholic (he's from Kuwait but born in India). he's dated non-Indian girls before but he said it was just dating and not for long term. i guess that means i am out cuz even though i am not looking to get married but i don't really want to pursue a dead end relationsip =(. i now begin another recovering process :p thanks Sapphire!!!

**Sapphire**
08-14-2009, 12:08 PM
Yeah I know it hurts, but he was honest with you & you do have your friendship.

gimmeabreak
11-13-2009, 05:32 PM
This guy reminds me of me a bit. Based on what you have said, he definitely has feelings for you that are more than friendly. He is confused, and does not know what path he should follow. He is out looking for girls at clubs, other places, etc. but sees what he has right under his nose. I would probably be thinking, "nah, this is too good to be true. How many times does the, 'under your nose' thing actually happen anyway?" Don't make a big deal out of it, but mention that you have some feelings for him that aren't just friend feelings. See where he goes. Look at his body language more than what he says. If he doesn't look at you after you say that or looks away, he has the feelings too. He is treating you like a girlfriend already it seems - kind of testing the water. Have courage and just say it!