Needing advice, confused.

[krm1980]

I met this guy from Canada online, he found me on a website and started talking to me. I am living in Texas by the way. I am 28 and her's 30 years old. We began talking as friends, I wasn't expecting anything out of it more than a friendship. I have had 2 online relationships in the past and they didn't work out. As me and the guy started talking more, the more I liked him. I flirted with him and he has said such sweet things to me. And he told me he was falling in love with me and I started having feelings for him. And he said that I had made his future exciting. He's coming to visit me next month. And we are wanting to take a vacation together.

Well, he has a facebook and he has a lot of friends on his facebook, but of course I don't know none of them. And I went to look at his photos and he only had one up there, and it was a very old photo. It looked like it was scanned and a girl was cropped out of it. It is a very old photo. I didn't realize how old it was until we put each other on our Myspace. I thought maybe he has more pictures on his myspace so I went to look and it was the same one. And I found out that it was 3 years old. There was some random 23 year old chick who had left him a pic comment 2 years ago asking him to put up new pics, and still today he hasn't. So, of course I asked him to pleasse put up new pictures and he said he would, but he hasn't yet. And I asked him to take one with his cell phone since he has a blackberry and he said he would, but he hasn't yet. And I don't wanna keep bugging him about it.

Well, when I went to his Myspace, I couldn't help but notice the girls he had on his myspace. They were really young girls. Like 19 year olds, 20 year olds and so out of curiousity, I went to their page. And they never sign on anymore so I went to view some of their comments he may have left them and he was flirting with a 19 year old girl when he was 28 years old. Telling her that he would take her virginity and just laughing it off.

He got a little jealous when this guy left me a comment, it was one of those graphic comments and this guy is someone I never talk to. He is one of my app friends and so my boyfriend got jealous and he said that he wanted me to change my status to engaged and so I did. I guess that's stupid but I am trying to understand if he is a bit insecure. He says he loves me a lot. And I love him and I wanna future with him. But I am just a little concerned why he won't put up any new photos and then those girls, I was a little caught off guard but I don't wanna make him mad and keep bugging him. I wanna see what happens when he gets here. But at the same time, I am hoping that he is being honest with me.

Just need some advice. I am a little confused.

[**Sapphire**]

Welcome to ATLF, I'm glad that you joined us here. :)

Well I would have to say not updating a picture or at the least sending an updated picture to the person your dating is a red flag. He doesn't have to put it up on his Myspace or Facebook, he can email straight to you. If you 2 are going to meet, it would be nice to have an updated picture as we all do change with the years.

Also, when you read those comments he made to the other girls, those were a long time ago, right? I don't know if I would be too overly concerned with those as they didn't reply & he hasn't sent them anything else for a long time.

If you 2 are going to meet soon, do it in a public place just in case. Being online people can be anybody, so meeting in public place & also letting friends/family know your meeting this guy, when & where is a good idea. Not saying he could do anything, but as a precaution.

[lisa843]

yeah I agree with Sapphire....

be cautious when meeting...you never know about people you meet on-line...or even "just out" for that matter....
people lie all the time ..especially on-line. I can certainly understand why someone would not want to post pics on-line. I've been on some forums where people did all kinds of nasty things to people's pics that they didn't like...and I've seen how people post pics of other people...passing them off as their pic....

Just be careful. Hope things work out for you. keep us posted. take care.

[krm1980]

Thanks for advice. My mother was concerned too, so was my friends. So, we have done some searching on him. I have seen a recent photo of him, I just don't understand why he can't add new ones cause I get tired of seeing that girl cropped out and that picture is at least 5 years old. My mom thinks the new pic of him looks creepy and I love him so I can't see it the way she sees this or other friends do.

He is a president of a kids hockey team at a high school. And we found out that he was sleeping with younger women. He was dating a young girl and he hung around a lot of teenagers and went to parties with them and drinking and some of the kids were underage. This wasn't that long ago. I do not know why he and this girl broke up, she's not the one in the photo by the way. Actually, she is the one who also wanted him to put up new pics 3 years ago but he never did. But she and him dated and I haven't asked him why they broke up, my friends say no matter what it was, he will probably sugar coat it. I also saw that he had been flirting with his ex's best friend. I have noticed that he likes to joke about a lot of sexual things but a lot of men do. I know my friends are gonna tell me he's a perv and I am just gonna give him the benefit of the doubt but at the same time, I don't wanna get hurt. I don't know how many other women that he has prolly slept with that are younger and a lot thinner than I am, I trust my gut and my gut tells me that it is odd. But at the same time, I'm confused cause he seems so nice and sweet.

[**Sapphire**]

krm1980, I would run away from this guy, sorry to say, but I would agree with whatever you friends have told you that he's a perv.

He's been hanging around much younger girls, plus he's partied with underage girls. Plus not all men talk about sex or sexual things constantly.

Sounds to me like he likes to prey on young women & that could get him in some serious trouble if they are underage.

Of course he's a nice guy, he's online hun, he can be anybody he likes/chooses.

My advice to you hun, don't meet him, don't contact him anymore. I have so many warning bells going off for you & they are not good at all.

[krm1980]

We don't talk on the phone that much, we just talk a lot online. As I mentioned in my last post, I saw that he had left some flirty comments to his girlfriends best friend, but she was aware of this. She just laughed it off as a joke and maybe they had an open relationship. Her, this best friend of hers, and my guy were all good friends, very close friends. The comments he left her was a graphic one saying "I will do your body good." Then, there was another one that said "Give me smootches sexy you sexy thing." And then he left one in his own words while drunk saying "I will take your London Virginity". He was just carrying on a lot of jokes.

He and his ex girlfriend lived together, he was around 26 years old when she was 19. They might have dated longer than that. I found her profile on MSN Spaces but he doesn't know. She had written poems about him, they started living together in 2005. But she was very much in love with him and I saw a ton of photos of him and her together and they took trips a lot, went to concerts, it looked like they had this great relationship. They both looked really happy. I read some of her blogs, she and her dad weren't on speaking terms for a while and a lot of people weren't too pleased to here she was moving in with him but they went ahead and moved in and were spending more time together between their busy schedules. In 2007, she and her best friend were talking about moving in together in London Ontario, and sometime after that, she and her best friend did not speak to each other any longer. And I don't know if my guy had anything to do with that. I know she and him were still dating in Sept of 07, but after that time frame, I don't know when they broke up. I read all of this in old comments on her best friend's facebook and I know I should ask him, but men are good at lying and I don't wanna be lied to and don't want him mad at me for snooping but I need answers. I would like to know what broke him and his girlfriend up because they were together for a long time.


Well, I discovered something this weekend that I find very strange also. When I was reading comments on his ex girlfriends best friend's myspace, neither one of them use their accounts anymore by the way. I saw that his girlfriend told her best friend that my guy had just opened a Myspace. When she left this comment it was in March of 2007.

Well, here's the weird part, that can't be true. I saw his myspace and it said he had signed up April of 2006. It wasn't 2007 that he just opened up a Myspace account. But his ex didn't have one until a few months later. It seems that she and him would have signed up for one at the same time, they were living together. And it looks like that she would have added him in 2006. But no, she thought he didn't open up one until 2007! So, to me, it looks like that he had one without her being aware of it.

Which brings me to the photo that he has had up on his Myspace FOREVER. This photo of him is a lot older than 5 years. And he had a lot more recent photos of himself besides that one, his girlfriend had tons on her profile but yet he chose that one. So, if he had signed up for a Myspace account she didn't know about, he used that old cropped photo and not any recent ones of him or photos of he and his girlfriend. And when he added her to his Myspace the first thing his ex girlfriend said was to put up new pics. It doesn't make sense. It looks like he would have put up some new ones instead of that one that looked all scanned with a girl cropped. So, it just seems that he had an account that she didn't know about, then she might have asked him to join and he went and possibly deleted what he had on his or something and pretended like he had just freshly opened it and thats why she made that comment about the photo, she was wondering why he couldn't put up new photos. It makes sense but not sure if I am right. It's confusing so I guess I have you all confused and I am so sorry if I sound like a stupid chick. Ugh, men. Nothing ever makes sense.

[**Sapphire**]

krm, no man that is in a committed relationship should be leaving any kind of flirty comments on a girlfriends bestfriends Myspace or even talking them face to face like that..warning bell #1. That flirting could have very well lead to something more, who knows, only he, the ex & the bestfriend would know that.

He could have very well had more than 1 Myspace account. I don't have Facebook or Myspace, but I'm sure it's easy to get more than 1 account. Now keeping them straight with certain people or to make friends/contacts/romantic conctacts behind someone's back might be a bit harder. BUT if someone wants to hide something they will go to great lengths to hide what they are doing wrong.

I would say ask him about all of this so you are totally sure you want to be with him. If he's the online player that I feel he is, he could very well lie to you about it all & you would have to go on what he says.

[krm1980]

Thanks for the advice. I was on another forum and I wasn't liking the attitude of some people. They were not even US folks, a lot of them were from Europe/Australia and some other states. They were telling me that I was being paranoid and that maybe he and his girlfriend had an open kind of relationship and if his girlfriend knew he was leaving those kinds of comments, it was okay, nothing wrong with it and he was a joker. They told me that I was just looking at the worst case scenerio and making a big deal out of something. I have learned that when something seems a little off, or there's unanswered questions, to go with the instinct. So, that's what I am doing. Some things are still shady and I know that men can lie through their teeth and put on a good act.

Right now, he seems like the perfect guy. He up-dated his twitter bio and wrote "I'm that guy you take home to your momma." Then, randomly he changed his song on Myspace to "Good man". My friend said it looked as if he was trying to prove something or convince me I have nothing to worry about.


She told me that she knows how some men are, some act like they are prince charming and are sweet as sugar but have a dark side. It's bad that some of the sweetest men in the world can be the ones that turn out possesive over their women, very insecure and even abusive. You can't trust any of them.

Right now, I am gonna keep my guard up. He tells me he loves me, but I just say I love ya. I think he knows that I have my guard up cause I have had a talk with him, that might be why he does super nice things for me. I am not sure. I wanna give him the benefit of the doubt, but at the same time...I am gonna be super cautious. This guy is so far away and I have only known him for almost 2 months.

My mom said she didn't like the feeling of it so she actually wanted to run a background check on him.

[lisa843]

what is it that is so appealing about this person?? from what you've written, he doesn't sound like a good guy to me. Personally, I can't be with someone I keep feeling like I can't trust...
If a person is constantly putting suspicions in my head because of things he's doing/done, Or if I got to the point where I feel I need to be a private detective to dig up the dirt or get answers....I would not deal with them anymore.

.....
after reading your last post....
yeah...a background check would be a good idea...(IMO) and then if that checks out, put all this behind you and just enjoy the relationship one day at a time... (I know the bg check contradicts what I said above...but for this case, and to ease your mind, AND to be safe...it is really a good idea) good luck

[krm1980]

Very true...

[**Sapphire**]

A background check is a good idea, BUT if he hasn't done anything illegal or has any bad debt it won't show up. That won't tell you what kind of character he is, you know?

I mean he & his EX could have had an open relationship, there are alot of variables to their relationship, but like I said before the only 1's that would know the truth would be them.

I don't know, he seems to be putting himself all over the net, why do that when you are "in love" with someone else? Why do that when you want to try to make a go of being with someone?

[krm1980]

I agree, the background check won't show anything if he's not had any records. If he's been married or divorced then it probably will. But as far as I know, he's not. But men lie. His ex is no where to be seen on the internet anymore, everything that she had she doesn't use anymore. She seemed to have really loved him and now it's like she doesn't even exist. It's weird how she just stopped staying in contact with her friends, whatever happened must have been pretty bad. I know something happened between she and her best friend...which is the girl that he was flirting with infront of her.

I don't think it's gonna last with me and him. He's coming next July as far as I know, i might meet him but make sure it's in a public place, then again...he might not even come.

[krm1980]

Next month, not next July. I wouldn't be able to wait that long.

[lisa843]

I agree, the background check won't show anything if he's not had any records. If he's been married or divorced then it probably will. But as far as I know, he's not. But men lie. His ex is no where to be seen on the internet anymore, everything that she had she doesn't use anymore. She seemed to have really loved him and now it's like she doesn't even exist. It's weird how she just stopped staying in contact with her friends, whatever happened must have been pretty bad. I know something happened between she and her best friend...which is the girl that he was flirting with infront of her.

I don't think it's gonna last with me and him. He's coming next July as far as I know, i might meet him but make sure it's in a public place, then again...he might not even come.

yeah but a bg check is still good...because something could show up, ya never know...
but I would still not count on just that to ease your mind. You have to use your own judgment and common sense. If you are having reservations about him, you should be extra cautious.

again, what is it that you find so good about him?? how is it that he treats you so good??

[krm1980]

We ran a background check on him and he has no records of anything. I was hoping to see maybe some relatives or addresses but I didn't see any. His DOB wasn't specified so I e-mailed the lady back asking her if there was a way I could see his relatives and home addresses, ect. Even if his record is clean, doesn't mean anything. I know it's more of a gut instinct thing and common sense.

When we first started talking, we were friends. I had no plans to grow feelings for him. We talked about everyday things, sports, our favorite baseball teams, life, and things like that. The more I talked to him, the more I started to like him. And he always had sweet things to say, like how beautiful I was and that if he was here he would never treat me the way the guys have in the past and how they were complete idiots. And then he told me he was falling in love with me and that I had changed his outlook on life and made his future exciting. And he told me that he would come out here next month to visit me. He told me how women had burned him in the past and that he was trying to find the right one. And when he saw that comment from some random guy on my Myspace, he asked me who it was and I told him some random guy I never talked to. And he said that he put engaged up on his Myspace so women would know but half of those girls, young girls, don't leave him any comments. They were friends of his ex anyway. But he asked me to put up engaged on my Myspace so guys would know not to be flirting with me, ect. And he told me to please change my pic for him cause there was a favorite one he liked, yet, he won't post any recent ones of him. Like I said before, don't wanna bug him but it would be nice to see a pic without some random girl cropped out and one that isn't more than 5 years old.

[**Sapphire**]

Well if you think he is worth meeting in real life, then wait to see if he does come out to meet you next month.

It might be a good thing as you can see him face to face, talk to him & gauge his reactions because you will be seeing him in real life.

[lisa843]

how long have y'all been talking?? usually when you have a gut instinct about someone...you should listen to it. Something is telling you to be cautious, and that something is not quite right. I just hope you are extra careful and take it slow...one day at a time.

[krm1980]

We have been talking for almost two months.

And I agree, I wasn't expecting him to just fall for me so quickly.

[lisa843]

We have been talking for almost two months.

And I agree, I wasn't expecting him to just fall for me so quickly.

of that 2 months...how long was it "just friends"....how soon did it get "romantic"??

yeah (IMO) that is too quick to fall "in love"...especially when you have not actually ever met...

[krm1980]

We talked about 2 weeks or so then he wanted a relationship and said he was in love with me.

[**Sapphire**]

Hmmm, after talking for 2 weeks he said he loved you & wanted a relationship?? That sounds little sketchy to me.

I met my fiance online, but we talked a good bit of time before we acknowledged our feelings for each other. It was only when we met that we both really, deep down knew we did love each other. We did commit to each other while we were apart & we did say we loved each other, but it hit home more after we met.

I don't know krm, 2 weeks IMO isn't long enough to know you do love a person, it could be enough to feel a little something, but not love.

[krm1980]

Yeah, I wasn't expecting it. He told me that I had changed his life and it's like he's trying hard to convince me that he's a good man but then I look at all the weird things so I may just end things if I can't get answers that make sense.

[**Sapphire**]

Sounds like you could be making a very good decision here on letting him go.

I would talk to him more, let him know what you found out, get his reaction. Better to know what's going on NOW rather than spending money/time & things don't work out when you 2 meet in person.

[The Gr8 Eight]

I am confused myself, are you questioning if he is a real person??

[krm1980]

Not anymore I'm not. I know he's real, and I have talked to him about how I feel and he says he's not like other guys, well that's the most famous saying a guy knows and he finally booked his plane ticket.

[lisa843]

yeah that is a famous saying....

just be careful...and keep us posted. good luck!!!

[krm1980]

Thanks, I will.

[**Sapphire**]

I hope that everything goes well for you krm. Be sure to come back & update us when you 2 do meet.

Yeah that is 1 of the most famous & played out sayings the guys use. "I'm different from the other guys" When the reality is he's the same or even worse, those guys that say those played out lines are IMO players.

[krm1980]

Yeah, that is why I am skeptical. I have questioned him and it's hard to believe what they say when it's over the internet. I kept asking him daily when he was gonna get his ticket and that he needed to get it soon since we already knew the day he was flying out, which was the 17th of next month, and he said he could stay 5 days. But he just booked his flight night before last. He said he had to get the money...I find that strange since he's the president of his own company and he wears nothing but name brand clothes. Seems like money wouldn't be an issue. And also he said he had to get a passport to come here. I thought he already had one, he follows Expedia on Twitter so I assumed if he follows an airline that he must have done some traveling before. I don't know if Passports expire.

[**Sapphire**]

Passports do expire, but I think they are like every 5 years or something.

Alot of things don't add up, but I'm hoping all will be OK when he does come out.

[krm1980]

Yeah, not sure. Not getting hopes up. I am trying to look at things from all angles and a good friend of mine said that she hopes he really got the ticket. I don't think i pressured him, I just bascially told him that because of my past, I wanted to meet him and didn't wanna wait around. I have my guard up, trust me.

[krm1980]

I know you might find this really dumb of me, but I had an ex boyfriend in the past who I was shady about in the end and my mom got a weird gut feeling. I also had the same gut feeling. And it really had her worried and she didn't want me to be mad at her for feeling like I should have the guy checked out, but they weren't able to do a full background check on him. I always go to my mom or best friend when I have things on my mind, I guess that is because they can see right through me so well. But it's good to hear from other people who can see things on the outside. That's why I chose to come to a forum.

I have a cousin who is a investigator and me and him are pretty close. I guess when people have gut feelings, it's best to go with them and not ignore them. I am trying so hard not throw any accusations at this guy and give him the benefit of the doubt. But at the same time, I don't think there's anything wrong with me for at least being smart about this and trying to make sense out of it.

I told my cousin that I thought that maybe my bf had kept that Myspace account from his Ex before, she went and told her best friend that he had just opened one, and that wasn't true. Then, him leaving those flirty little comments to her best friend like that while he was drunk. I did ask my bf about that, he said it was the past and I shouldn't be worried, he said that he did open an account and his ex did know but he just didn't use it and she had forgotten about it. That don't make sense. My cousin said that he's probably a player and was using it to talk to other women perhaps. And he probably deleted everything off before his ex had a chance to see it. And I am sure that before he added me, that he deleted off all the comments because when I saw it, it looked like he had just opened it cause there were no comments and of course, that old old old photo that's been up there for over three years. It makes sense why he would put that pic up there if his ex didn't know about this account, he wouldn't wanna put a pic of him and his girlfriend up there if he was using it to talk to women. And even if she did know about him opening one, like she really thought, HELLO, put a pic of you and your girlfriend up there and not some old photo with a girl cropped out of it. My cousin said this guy could be married and I probably wouldn't even know about it. He said that it's hard when I am here and he's there and we don't know what each other really do during the day.

I told my cousin the part that was the weirdest the most is that when my bf and his ex and her best friend moved in together, that something came between their friendship and it was something so bad that they completely stopped talking to each other and now I swear, it's like his ex gf has just dropped off the face of the earth. She used to have so much internet stuff and she deactivated her Facebook, doesn't go to her Myspace or any of that anymore. And I even asked one of her friends if she knew where she was and she didn't reply to me. I asked my bf and he said that they should wanted to see other people and her and her best friend just had a fight. But if I didn't know any better I would think his ex was dead. I am not trying to sound paranoid here, and I am not saying my bf killed her, I wouldn't throw an accusation like that at him or anyone...my cousin said that it could be that he was abusive with her if he's got a controlling nature...he said that I wouldn't know cause we've never met and haven't been around each other. I have to admit, he's dramatic. When he's not having a day it's like he cusses and is so negative. I try to tell him not to worry but he's stubborn. My cousin also said that maybe he and his ex's best friend had something going on and his ex felt so betrayed that she just wanted to move on with her life and just get offline. Even that meaning, not keep in touch with her friends while she was away at college. My cousin told me to be careful, he said he does find it a bit strange that he won't post a recent photo of himself. He owns a blackberry phone, I am always taking new pictures and posting them with my phone. And I have asked him and he said he will, or that he will when we take some together. I don't know. Maybe he's just that type that isn't big on taking photos. My cousin seems to think that things are shady, that he might be just playing me or he might end up being a real crazy man.

My bf knows all about the other two long distant relationships I had, and he tells me that he's not like that, tells me he's a good man, the kind of man that you bring home to your momma is what is Twitter Bio says.

As I said, I went to another forum a couple of weeks ago and all of them people were really rude and said that I shouldn't be looking at the things he did in the past and that I was being paranoid, and I tried explaining to them that I think that I should pay attention to every bit of detail just so I will know I need to keep my guard up. It's not like I am making him out to be some murderer or something. All I was trying to say was things didn't much sense and they still don't. If they did, I wouldn't be here. I appreciate you all being nice to me, unlike those other people were.

But as far as all this weird stuff, I don't know.

[**Sapphire**]

All that you have told us doesn't add up & those of us that have been replying to your thread have said as much.

I'm am glad that you are having these doubts, the "rose colored glasses" aren't on which is a good thing. You can be prepared for the worst, but hope for the best.

Do you still want to meet him? Do you think that he really did purchase the ticket to see you?

[krm1980]

I have no idea.

[krm1980]

I am confused. He told me that he was thankful for all he had after the passing of Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcet and said he loved me and that hadn't changed.

[lisa843]

why would that confuse you?? Times like that..when we see people passing (even celebs & stars) it puts things in perspective for a lot of people. Makes you realize that life is short and you are not promised tomorrow...none of us are...

[krm1980]

Of course, I feel the exact same way. I was meaning that he seems so sweet and caring but then I see all the things that don't make sense and that just confuses me. Like, I don't know if he's being for real or if he is playing me. I can't ignore the strange things.

[krm1980]

Just got back from the lake, where I have been at all day. I logged onto Twitter and apparently his latest twitter up-date was concerning me. He said that he would be lying if he said that he wasn't scared and concerned and said God please protect her. We have barely been talking the past few days cause he's working two jobs. And he said that Happiness=Is being in Austin. Which is where I live.

My friend saw his twitter up-date and she said that it wasn't like I was driving in dangerous traffic, that I was just on the lake having some fun and I was a grown woman and that she knows he might care but that was a little out there, that he can't constantly worry about me 24/7. She said for me to watch that. I just tried to look at it like maybe he does care about me, it's just so confusing.

[**Sapphire**]

I agree with your friend & will also add that it could be his subtle way of trying to control you. Like maybe trying to make you feel bad about going out with your friends so that you stay at home instead.

Only time will tell though if/when he comes out to you & you 2 meet face to face.

[krm1980]

I am starting to feel that way. I didn't do anything for the fourth of July, I stayed home and did a lot of thinking. He is working 16 hour shifts until he gets here on the 17th and he is making like he's super protective of me. That's why he was worried about me being on the lake the other weekend. He told me that he didn't want anything bad to happen to me and that he would be worried cause he knows a lot of people who drown and has had a experience with it and I mentioned going to the pool sometime and he said so you mean you will be watching the pool on the other side of the fence. He says he loves me and is just wanting me to be safe since we can't see each other all the time and that it's only natural for him to feel this way and be concerned. So, I spent the 4th of July weekend home, we didn't talk that much cause he was working. So, I just got on the computer, even went and read my ex's boyfriend's blog and left him a happy 4th of july comment cause he left me one. I wasn't about to delete it off my myspace like I delete the compliments guys leave me for my photos. I don't want my ex back, he is really happy with his new girlfriend and we're just friends, we've been broken up for a few years and he's a really nice guy so I am happy for him and I wanna be just as happy as he is.

I am really trying to give my boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. He said he's about to go crazy waiting for the 17th to get here.


Also, the other week, on Facebook, I saw him leave one of his gay female friends a comment. She is also on my friends' list too, I have two other friends that are on there but haven't really talked to them but from what they told me is that he's a nice guy. And so I saw a comment he left his gay friend because her girlfriend had came to visit her again in Canada, and my boyfriend said that she could bring her girlfriend over to his place and she could pick her in an hour and he laughed it off and everyone was asking him what would he be doing in the 58 mins or something like that. I didn't really say anything to him because this girl is gay, but if she hadn't been...I would have.

[**Sapphire**]

Well the 17th will be here soon enough & you can then be better prepared to see how he really is face to face.

I am hoping he is on the up & up for your sake hun. :)

[krm1980]

Well, I do not have my guard down. I can tell you that much!

[krm1980]

Well, here is the latest. Over the weekend as I said, I did some thinking. And so, I got the guts to tell him how I felt about everything. How it's hard for us to not being able to talk all the time, and how I felt like I shouldn't have to stay home and not enjoy myself with my family and friends and told him that I had been through a long distant relationship before and that this one is just too hard and that I thought that maybe he shouldn't come. I told him I just needed some time to think this through, needless to say he's not too happy with me right now and he's not been online for the last 2 days. He up-dated his Twitter Tuesday and all he said was "...Just Wondering". Not quite sure what that meant or what he's thinking. I can't help but be concerned and wish that he would get online but not sure when that will be. I've talked to one of his friends and they tell me that he's probably okay. I wonder if he's out with another woman, if he's really playing me. I'm confused. I should have seen this coming. And I believe that he's gonna tell me that he will change and all the stuff I have heard before. It's so frustrating.

[**Sapphire**]

Personally I think you did the right thing by being up front & honest with him.

If he doesn't come back online, what's the worst that can happen hun. You 2 haven't met in person yet so in time he can fade in to the background.

You will be that much wiser when you talk to someone else online though, so if he doesn't talk to you, you will have gained a bit more knowledge of the types of players online.

[krm1980]

I agree with you. I think he is just trying to make me worry, he could be out partying or sleeping with another woman. I am sure that he's doing this intentional...and if he does come back online I am sure he's gonna think that I have changed my mind. I will listen to what he has to say but I will take it all with a grain of salt.