wiggles
05-03-2009, 08:17 PM
I suppose I should start this from the beginning.
We met in work and at first nothing happened. One because we were in work and secondly because she was ten years younger than me (17 to my 27).
Then just before Christmas work held a Christmas dinner for the staff. Afterwards some of the younger ones decided to go for a few drinks and one of them asked me (I later found out that she'd asked them to ask me). I agreed and we all went. Over the course of the evening we ended up sat next to each other making out. This continued for probably an hour or more during which everyone disappeared. We swapped numbers and went for a date a few days later.
At roughly the same time there was talk of a management job coming up which I wanted to go for. So after thinking about it for a while I dumped her because I didn't want the fact that I was dating one of the staff I would be managing damaging my chances of getting it. I also thought it would be better to finish things sooner rather than later. I told her I just didn't see the relationship going anywhere.
Two days later we were both at a new years party and she was dating someone else. It cut me up to see it but it was my fault and I could only blame myself. Apart from a traditional kiss at midnight we didn't communicate, and I was in two minds whether I should do that. Not long after that we were at another party, we cleared the air and got back on speaking terms.
A short while after text her telling her the real reason I dumped her.
A week or two later a few of us had gone to the pub. I knew her new guy and he had been insulting her behind her back pretty since they got together. A friend and I were telling him he should dump her if that was how he felt about her. He agreed, said he would, he didn't. Then a few days later she was talking to the friend just mentioned and it came out that the guy had been saying something but neither I nor the friend would say what. Eventually though, I relented and told her everything. She split up with him that evening and went home. On my way home I received a text from her telling me not to feel bad about telling her about it and thanking me for it.
A short time afterwards we got back together and it was really good.
Then after work one evening I went round to her house she was a little drunk but the way she grabbed me, the way she kissed me left me in no doubt that I was the one for her and she was the one for me and we would be together for a long time to come.
But then after working with her the next morning we finished and she seemed angry with me yet I had (as far as I could see) given her no reason to be upset with me. Then she didn't turn in for work that evening, I text her, she said she needed sleep so I left it. Then the next evening I managed to get in contact with her, she said she needed some space, I resolved to try and give her some.
Four days later after not hearing from her at all I was speaking to a friend. She told me that my girlfriend had been having sex with her teacher. I went through all the emotions you might expect. Still I couldn't quite believe it or didn't want to, I'm not sure. I'd also heard she'd been kicked out of her home. I decided to go and speak to her parents try and find out something. She was there. She lied to me and told me that she'd tried to kiss him and he'd pushed her back. Although I was pretty sure it was a lie I let her tell me that, and I forgave her. Just before I left she asked me if we were going to be ok. I told her we would be.
That night I wrote her a letter explaining my feelings and why I was willing to forgive her. I was going to give it to in work but her shift was cancelled so I ended up putting it through her letterbox not knowing if she would actually get it. I worried through the rest of that day she might not get the letter so I decided to write another and leave it at work for her. It was originally going to be a carbon copy of the first, however I decided that I needed to clear up the fact that I knew the truth and I was forgiving her for having sex with another man and not just for trying to kiss him, so the content changed a bit.
On my way to work to drop the letter off I decided to stop by her place in case she was in and I could put the letter in her hand. I got there, her dad was outside and we spoke for a while about everything. After a while her mum came out and told me to around the back and speak to her because she wouldn't come out to me. When I got to her her mum came out and told her to tell me the truth. She still couldn't, I told her. We talked for a while, eventually we agreed to put things on hold for a while, now that was a fortnight ago.
During the week after she had suggested that she might be meeting with people investigating the affair so I sent her a few texts basically wishing her well, nothing too heavy, no-more than any friend might say. Then about a week after putting things on hold she dumped me in a pretty harshly worded text. I replied basically saying ok. I spent the next few hours thinking it all over.
In our two conversations I got the feeling she wanted me to be angry, she wanted me to punish her. So I decided be angry, to give her what she wanted and composed a probably equally harsh text. The next day I got a very angry text from her mum basically saying I was a horrible human being. I responded defending myself and I also forwarded her the messaged that was used to dump me. She responded and the tone of her message was completely different, it seemed like a completely different person had written it.
I believe she still loves me, the affair was the conclusion of a four year crush which the teacher took advantage of. I believe she's dumped me so I can get on with my life, because she doesn't think she deserve me and the affair will always be over us. I believe she still loves me as much as I still love her and I miss her. I think she feels the same way.
I'm considering just sending her a text in a few days just to say I miss her. I suppose I'm just not ready to give up on her.:dontknow:
Sorry for the lengthy post and to those of you who read the whole thing I congratulate you!!
We met in work and at first nothing happened. One because we were in work and secondly because she was ten years younger than me (17 to my 27).
Then just before Christmas work held a Christmas dinner for the staff. Afterwards some of the younger ones decided to go for a few drinks and one of them asked me (I later found out that she'd asked them to ask me). I agreed and we all went. Over the course of the evening we ended up sat next to each other making out. This continued for probably an hour or more during which everyone disappeared. We swapped numbers and went for a date a few days later.
At roughly the same time there was talk of a management job coming up which I wanted to go for. So after thinking about it for a while I dumped her because I didn't want the fact that I was dating one of the staff I would be managing damaging my chances of getting it. I also thought it would be better to finish things sooner rather than later. I told her I just didn't see the relationship going anywhere.
Two days later we were both at a new years party and she was dating someone else. It cut me up to see it but it was my fault and I could only blame myself. Apart from a traditional kiss at midnight we didn't communicate, and I was in two minds whether I should do that. Not long after that we were at another party, we cleared the air and got back on speaking terms.
A short while after text her telling her the real reason I dumped her.
A week or two later a few of us had gone to the pub. I knew her new guy and he had been insulting her behind her back pretty since they got together. A friend and I were telling him he should dump her if that was how he felt about her. He agreed, said he would, he didn't. Then a few days later she was talking to the friend just mentioned and it came out that the guy had been saying something but neither I nor the friend would say what. Eventually though, I relented and told her everything. She split up with him that evening and went home. On my way home I received a text from her telling me not to feel bad about telling her about it and thanking me for it.
A short time afterwards we got back together and it was really good.
Then after work one evening I went round to her house she was a little drunk but the way she grabbed me, the way she kissed me left me in no doubt that I was the one for her and she was the one for me and we would be together for a long time to come.
But then after working with her the next morning we finished and she seemed angry with me yet I had (as far as I could see) given her no reason to be upset with me. Then she didn't turn in for work that evening, I text her, she said she needed sleep so I left it. Then the next evening I managed to get in contact with her, she said she needed some space, I resolved to try and give her some.
Four days later after not hearing from her at all I was speaking to a friend. She told me that my girlfriend had been having sex with her teacher. I went through all the emotions you might expect. Still I couldn't quite believe it or didn't want to, I'm not sure. I'd also heard she'd been kicked out of her home. I decided to go and speak to her parents try and find out something. She was there. She lied to me and told me that she'd tried to kiss him and he'd pushed her back. Although I was pretty sure it was a lie I let her tell me that, and I forgave her. Just before I left she asked me if we were going to be ok. I told her we would be.
That night I wrote her a letter explaining my feelings and why I was willing to forgive her. I was going to give it to in work but her shift was cancelled so I ended up putting it through her letterbox not knowing if she would actually get it. I worried through the rest of that day she might not get the letter so I decided to write another and leave it at work for her. It was originally going to be a carbon copy of the first, however I decided that I needed to clear up the fact that I knew the truth and I was forgiving her for having sex with another man and not just for trying to kiss him, so the content changed a bit.
On my way to work to drop the letter off I decided to stop by her place in case she was in and I could put the letter in her hand. I got there, her dad was outside and we spoke for a while about everything. After a while her mum came out and told me to around the back and speak to her because she wouldn't come out to me. When I got to her her mum came out and told her to tell me the truth. She still couldn't, I told her. We talked for a while, eventually we agreed to put things on hold for a while, now that was a fortnight ago.
During the week after she had suggested that she might be meeting with people investigating the affair so I sent her a few texts basically wishing her well, nothing too heavy, no-more than any friend might say. Then about a week after putting things on hold she dumped me in a pretty harshly worded text. I replied basically saying ok. I spent the next few hours thinking it all over.
In our two conversations I got the feeling she wanted me to be angry, she wanted me to punish her. So I decided be angry, to give her what she wanted and composed a probably equally harsh text. The next day I got a very angry text from her mum basically saying I was a horrible human being. I responded defending myself and I also forwarded her the messaged that was used to dump me. She responded and the tone of her message was completely different, it seemed like a completely different person had written it.
I believe she still loves me, the affair was the conclusion of a four year crush which the teacher took advantage of. I believe she's dumped me so I can get on with my life, because she doesn't think she deserve me and the affair will always be over us. I believe she still loves me as much as I still love her and I miss her. I think she feels the same way.
I'm considering just sending her a text in a few days just to say I miss her. I suppose I'm just not ready to give up on her.:dontknow:
Sorry for the lengthy post and to those of you who read the whole thing I congratulate you!!