Ex's and Birthdays....

[wiggles]

I split with my girlfriend 40 days or so ago (she dumped me because she wanted to be single after we'd spent a couple of months in a long distance relationship), then we had a minor relapse about a month ago when we met up as friends (but trust me, friends don't do what we did).

Anyway, since then we had an argument over text and stopped communicating completely a little over a week ago. Since then I've wanted to call her, text her, e-mail her, IM her, anything, but I've managed to resist the urge so far.

Well now her birthday is coming up. The first weekend after I moved away I came to hers for the weekend and we wandered round town. In one store she saw Disney's Rescuers Down Under on DVD and asked me to get it for her. I refused because I'd just quit a job with no prospect of a new one on any horizon, and therefore no money coming in.

I decided that day that I would get it for her birthday as a sort of a jokey present along with a "proper" present.

So now I don't really know what to do, should I still give her this present or not? A couple of weeks ago there wouldn't have been any question, but now we've stopped communicating I'm not so sure.

Any advice?

[Penguin_Woman]

Sure, I think you should. But that being the only gift. Maybe enclose a small note too just wishing her happy birthday.

[aussiecoffee007]

i would give it to her, to show you still care (which i am assuming you do...) birthdays are kind of important and to a woman it seems like you forgot it aka you dont care aka it might be harder to work thigns out if you dont give something to her, after a relationship like yours... my ex did the same thing (dont worry we didnt break up over it!!!) but i was really really hurt... :(

[wiggles]

So a card and the DVD then?

[summit]

well, you only know how shes treating you since the split, if you think she is being a good friend, and not leading you on, and you would like to continue a friendship with her, by all means give her the present, it would make a great gesture to brighten her day I am sure. However if shes been nasty, or dosnt really seem to be interested in hanging out with you anymore, and your only communicating with her in hopes of getting back together, I would just let it go. I think your the only one you can truly answer this question, since we don't know how shes been treating you after the split.

[mashmac]

It's not very clear to me what you want: do you want to be her friend or her boyfriend? Certainly a present can't hurt. It sounds really cute. But that seems not to be the issue here or I might have misunderstood it all.

[wiggles]

Well if I'm honest, I want to be her boyfriend. However, as time has gone past since we broke up it seems less likely we'd be able to maintain a romantic relationship in the future. So I'm happy to settle for friends.

Anyway, since I started this thread she's got in touch again, we even spoke on the phone today. It's funny because although I was happy to hear from her again I was a little disappointed because it negates my spontaneous gift giving slightly. Part of me really wanted to be the one to make the first move but I'm glad it was made.:D