I feel uncomfortable dating men who's had Intimate Relationships

[josieblue]

:( I don't know why, I have a funny feeling about going out with men who had intimate relationships. Why does this bother me? I can't explain it. How do I get rid of those feeling? How can I accept men who had relationships. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person on earth who's never had a soulmate. :(

[aussiecoffee007]

okay i have the same problem you do! when they tell me that, i cant stop imagining them with some other woman, kissing them and touching them and it makes me madly uncomfortable. so i second the help plea, I'd love to get over that... perhaps just remember that them two broke up and hes with you now? i dont know

[Penguin_Woman]

To both of you: I'm rather the jealous type myself, but I am aware Tuxie has been with other women other than me. Do I wish I was his first? Well, I dunno. Maybe if we met when he was younger (max of 12 years or I woulda been underage). Still...a 36 year old virgin might seem kind of strange to me. A 36 year old virgin who's never even had a girlfriend?? This, would frighten me. lol I would wonder...'well, why hasn't he ever had a gf? Is he abusive, does he have some seriously weird fetish?'

Now, Aussie...I know you are young. An 18 year old (just for an example) virgin isn't that strange. A little hard to find in today's world. But not too unusual. An 18 year old who has never had a gf at all? As young as that is...it would seem unusual to me. Again, I'd wonder why?

My point in all this is: Most guys your gonna meet are gonna have some type of past. The one's that don't...I'm not sure you want. If you don't want to imagine them with another woman...don't ask. Also, keep in mind...they chose you. They are with you now. :)

[aussiecoffee007]

i know, my boyfriend is not a virgin i just dont like hearing about it because i cant stop all the images from coming in. but its okay, i think, im doing fine with it, because i really trust him and hes... with me now :)

[pika]

haha, its good to know girls feel uncomfortable about this....actually guys will jump more as well...its the same...when you put a feeling over a lady or guy..its natural people will think it this way.

[mashmac]

Really depends what age you are... no previous intimate relationship at forty I would really consider problematic. But it certainly is human nature to be jealous thinking your partner had some great time with another man/woman before you.
But dwelling on it is a waste of time. They are with you now and it is with you they want to be.You can feel that. What happened before should be left in the past or else it will poison your relationship.

How old are you josieblue?

[Penguin_Woman]

Really depends what age you are... no previous intimate relationship at forty I would really consider problematic. But it certainly is human nature to be jealous thinking your partner had some great time with another man/woman before you.
But dwelling on it is a waste of time. They are with you now and it is with you they want to be.You can feel that. What happened before should be left in the past or else it will poison your relationship.

How old are you josieblue?

Mashmac- She's gone...deleted so will be unable to answer you. I beleive she was in her early 20's

[mashmac]

I clearly have been gone for a while! Funny....

[aussiecoffee007]

aw its okay, you will catch up quickly :)

[lisa843]

I agree with what most wrote. It is not likely to find too many people now a days that have not been intimate. Seems like children are being sexually active earlier and earlier. It does not bother me (knowing or not knowing of my partners sexual history)....except for the fact that I want to know that I am safe from any std's and stuff like that. It is true when we go to bed with someone and are intimate with them..it's just like being intimate with all they have been with..."sexual history" follows each and every one of us in one way or another. (IMO).:( I don't know why, I have a funny feeling about going out with men who had intimate relationships. Why does this bother me? I can't explain it. How do I get rid of those feeling? How can I accept men who had relationships. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person on earth who's never had a soulmate. :(

[joehash]

Yeah, it is a bit of a weird thought. However, you should avoid those kind of thoughts because they'll only make you worry about something that already happened and had nothing to do with you.

[aussiecoffee007]

yeah i agree, hes obviously over that or he would still be there, he chose you over the other one anyway, adn whats past is past.