"just friends "- or not as it seems

[jb1]

I am a guy and In December last year I met a foreign girl who was really friendly towards me and we started to meet to go to restaurants, go out for walks, hold hands as friends. We got really close and told each other things that I had never told anyone else, . We did however have on separate occasions two sexual encounters and spent the night together which afterwards never discussed about and I continued to be friends with her despite my other feelings towards her, I never showed too much affection as wasn’t sure what she wanted.

Recently she started seeing me less and not telling me where she was at weekends, and then yesterday I met her and she told me she was with another guy who is a mutual friend between us. She revealed that they are “together”, and my heart sank and felt like had been kicked in the stomach. We went for coffee to discuss and I revealed that I had more feelings towards her, and she said to me she also once did but thought I was just wanting to be friends. We both started crying slightly as she felt awful and that I felt awful knowing she had been with this guy sexually and she didn’t know my true feelings – until now. The biggest kick in the ribs is that he was a friend of mine and they see each other more because of working together.
She said to me she likes to spend time with me and I am her closest friend but now I know this I cant face it, it disgusts me and I hate me for being so slow to show my feelings to her. I am a shy guy that does not find it easy with girls but she always made me comfortable and maybe I was just lusting after her, however I know she had feelings for me too now.

Can any body relate to this situation, today I feel heartbroken that I can not get close to her again and just be friends

[lisa843]

Welcome

Sorry you are hurting.....

Yes I can relate and understand.

that's too bad, but at least you know now...
learn the lesson from it, so next time you will know you should not wait to tell someone how you are feeling. It's a hard lesson when we go through stuff like this, but it makes us stronger.

Give yourself time to heal and then let yourself be open to find someone new.

take care. Hope you keep us posted.

[**Sapphire**]

Welcome to ATLF, I'm glad that you joined us here. :)

I'm really sorry that this happened to you. :(

The only thing you can do since she would still like to be friends is sit down & think about if YOU can continue being friends with her. You know she's with someone else & it's hurting you.

So, do you think you can continue being her friend knowing she's going to be with this guy & it will only hurt you more? Do you think you can set aside those feelings & still be her friend?

A few questions for you to think about here hun.

BTW...I moved this to Friendship Advice since this forum is geared more towards feelings for friends. :)