I Feel so left out!!

[josieblue]

:( I'm almost 40 years old and never experienced an intimate relationship with anyone. Men I like doesn't know I exist. I always get rejected. This happens ever since High School. I tried Dating Services, Single Dances,etc, and still couldn’t find anyone. The last guy I had a crush on was over 10 years ago, he's my friend's brother, and even he rejects me. I get so very depressed and lonely. I’m so sick of being rejected! Every time I see couples kissing in public I turn away because I feel so left out!! Right now I'm going out with this guy from work. We haven’t yet had a serious relationship. We’ve been going out together for almost 3 years, I’m hoping something will happen. I don't know what I’ll do if this guy doesn't work out. I feel so retarded never having a boyfriend and I'm not getting any younger! I don’t have any friends right now either! My life is so depressing that I wish I wasn't born!

[summit]

so you have been dating this guy for 3 years and it still hasnt gotten intimate? nor do you consider it a serious relationship? or you have known him for 3 years and just started dating?

To be honest, I find that when people can't seem to find a partner as they age, they tend to panic and become desperate to find their soulmate. I am not saying this is what is happening, just bringing it up as a possibility. For a guy, at least to my best knowledge desperation is like seeing your mom naked, you pretend you didnt see it, keep your head down and walk away! Maybe this is your problem, your giving the vibe out of being desperate for someone, and this scares guys away?

In my opinion I would concentrate on building some new friendships first, its a good building block and this will make you more comfortable in social situations, and get you out to more places to meet people, it also gives you people to lean on for advice, and just take it from there.

[Daisy duke]

really feel for you ...you can always come an talk on here ...and i hope things work out for you ...x

[EC]

Josieblue, your problems, as you said it. I'll get to them in a minute anyhow let me get some answers. Some people might suggest you some strategies on how to attract men, seduction, luring, blah blah, but I want you to fix the problem where it came from so if you get a man you'll know how to keep him :)


What are things that you do outside work?
Your appearance, can you describe it?
Your personality
What things do you do when you're interested in a man?
Do you come across as desparate for someone?
Do you radiate happiness or stress to others?
Your dress, what do you wear and what image are you sending out to people?
Do you appear to be too needy or too demanding?
How do you rate your social skills?
Do you appear to be too boring, or an extreme of either end?


I'd be more worried about not having any friends at the age of 40 than not having a boyfriend. The man you're going out with, you don't call him boyfriend, and not being in a serious relationship after 3 years, are you sure he's not using you for something?

But really, like I said above that I would be more worried about not having any friends at your ages. People tends to close themselves more and more as they get older and stick with their own circles of friends. A man or a woman, they can leave you anytime, but good friends will be there for quite a long time, hot and cold.

I suggest that you have a few minutes to yourself each day when you get home from work. Reflecting what you did on the day, who you met, what you did, what could be improved / better, if you talked to someone you were interested in was he interested in the conversation, etc.

Another thing, having a relationship doesn't necessarily mean it will improve your life. It's not a be-all, end-all, but having a life surely will improve your chance of, well, having a life and attract good people and prospect for a good relationship.

[aussiecoffee007]

i have to admit im a bit confused on this one, because you are dating casually htis guy for 3 years? have you talked about taking it to the next level yet? have you ever tried getting intimate and if so what happened? because if for 3 years... you dotn consider it a serious relationship, why are you in it to begin with? do you honestly have feelings for this guy? perhaps you just need to let those guys that you like know you exist, try talking or introducting yourself or something...

[josieblue]

:3: for the advice, you may have a point about a relationship. It could be worse having a rotten relationship then never having one. If the guy I'm dating is really using me, then I'll dump him and find someone else. I must admit I had some men chase after me in the past, but I wasn't interested in any of them. It's pretty hard finding the right guy. I had friends but they turned into backstabbing B---hes It's harder finding a good friend then a boyfriend. I will work on improving some things of myself. The list you wrote will help me. Thats the most important of all getting to know myself first before having good friends or a Soulmate.
:3: again.Josieblue, your problems, as you said it. I'll get to them in a minute anyhow let me get some answers. Some people might suggest you some strategies on how to attract men, seduction, luring, blah blah, but I want you to fix the problem where it came from so if you get a man you'll know how to keep [/SIZE][/FONT]him

What are things that you do outside work?
Your appearance, can you describe it?
Your personality
What things do you do when you're interested in a man?
Do you come across as desparate for someone?
Do you radiate happiness or stress to others?
Your dress, what do you wear and what image are you sending out to people?
Do you appear to be too needy or too demanding?
How do you rate your social skills?
Do you appear to be too boring, or an extreme of either end?I'd be more worried about not having any friends at the age of 40 than not having a boyfriend. The man you're going out with, you don't call him boyfriend, and not being in a serious relationship after 3 years, are you sure he's not using you for something?

But really, like I said above that I would be more worried about not having any friends at your ages. People tends to close themselves more and more as they get older and stick with their own circles of friends. A man or a woman, they can leave you anytime, but good friends will be there for quite a long time, hot and cold.

I suggest that you have a few minutes to yourself each day when you get home from work. Reflecting what you did on the day, who you met, what you did, what could be improved / better, if you talked to someone you were interested in was he interested in the conversation, etc.

Another thing, having a relationship doesn't necessarily mean it will improve your life. It's not a be-all, end-all, but having a life surely will improve your chance of, well, having a life and attract good people and prospect for a good relationship.

Hello thank you for helping, but I would rather move on with this guy. If it doesn't work out then I'll have to find someone else. I wouldn't have a chance with that other guy anyway, he's probably already married with kids. So I have to forget him and move on. Maybe I'm better off not having a relationship. Some people with bad marriages or relationships, I guess I considered myself lucky. It's hard not accepting being single, but I'll try to pull through. i have to admit im a bit confused on this one, because you are dating casually htis guy for 3 years? have you talked about taking it to the next level yet? have you ever tried getting intimate and if so what happened? because if for 3 years... you dotn consider it a serious relationship, why are you in it to begin with? do you honestly have feelings for this guy? perhaps you just need to let those guys that you like know you exist, try talking or introducting yourself or something...

:3: for the advice. I'll think about your quote concentrating on building new friendships. But first I have to make a new friend to the most important person of all, myself. Maybe I should learn more about myself and improve myself to make other friends. You may be right also about being desperate. I'll do my best to make myself a better person by looking on the positive than the negative of my life. Who knows maybe it will work out with this guy I'm dating as long as I don't push him to hard to scare him off. I'll take one step at a time, most of all regardless I'll try to love myself. :newangel:

so you have been dating this guy for 3 years and it still hasnt gotten intimate? nor do you consider it a serious relationship? or you have known him for 3 years and just started dating?

To be honest, I find that when people can't seem to find a partner as they age, they tend to panic and become desperate to find their soulmate. I am not saying this is what is happening, just bringing it up as a possibility. For a guy, at least to my best knowledge desperation is like seeing your mom naked, you pretend you didnt see it, keep your head down and walk away! Maybe this is your problem, your giving the vibe out of being desperate for someone, and this scares guys away?

In my opinion I would concentrate on building some new friendships first, its a good building block and this will make you more comfortable in social situations, and get you out to more places to meet people, it also gives you people to lean on for advice, and just take it from there.

:3: that's very sweet. :veryhappy: really feel for you ...you can always come an talk on here ...and i hope things work out for you ...x