Why contact now..?

[jupiter08]

Hello,

I'm in somewhat of a dilemma - can't help but to think I put myself in this situation. I don't mind if you put this on your site - perhaps it will help someone else..

To put my story in a nut-shell: I was in-love with this person for 2 yrs.. he knew that.. he too expressed feelings for me... we were physical, to a certain extent. During the time, he was in a live-in relationship.. [I understand my fault in that...] That relationship ended (reason: he said he couldn't see her as the mother of his child - not that he had kids). After it ended, he started acting strange towards me: he did not want to go out in public with me... but wanted to come and see me some nights.. and emailed on a daily basis. This went on for a couple of months... I even asked him if there was someone else - he denied it. He denied it, but slowly started giving hints - and one day he told me (via email) there was someone and he's trying to make that work. This was back in August. I was devastated... and so hurt that I decided to pack up and leave town for good. I needed to heal.. A few months after that, he tried to contact me, but I didn't contact back. Then again, after another couple of months, he contacted - said he was thinking about me and wants to know how I'm doing.. I still didn't contact. After that, he again sent text msgs and even called - saying he missed talking with me and wanted to know how I'm doing. So I finally sent him an email -thought I'd put him out of his misery. I told him that I had moved out of town and was trying to move on. He expressed his happiness upon hearing from me and thanked me for sending the email... He than went on to say how he had figured I had moved from my place since he kept an eye out for me a few months after the break-up: said he checked my apt parking lot (day and night) to see if my car was still there, the shuttle bus I used to take to work, etc..

Since he didn't mention anything in his email, I was under the impression that he's doing all this because he's single again.. and perhaps missed everything.. Since he didn't mention, I asked about his personal life - to my surprise, he says that his relationship from July and August still continues and is going well. And that he's trying to work on being happy.

I don't get it - why contact me if he's still with someone else? Why tell me all those things in great detail? I'm not going to be someone on the side, as I was during his previous relationship. I'm not going there anymore. It was a hard lesson learned.
What do I do in this situation - do I ask him these questions or do nothing at all (as I had before). Obviously my wounds or heart hasn't healed yet.

Please help shed some light...

[**Sapphire**]

Well you could ask him those questions, get everything out in the open. You can know his intentions on why he's contacting you now. You can also tell him that you are not going to be on the side again like before, so you can make your feelings known. You can also tell him that he doesn't need to contact you anymore as things are done & over.

You could also choose to ignore the email & just go on with your life as you have been so far. If he contacts you again, you can ignore it or you can then ask him why he's contacting you now.

Personally, if it was ME, I would ask him straight up why are you contacting me now, I have someone & then go from there with how I'm feeling & that I don't want anymore contact.

It's up to you hun, it's what you really would like to do in this situation.