Should You Consider an Internet Romance?

[Davey Crockett]

Carly's quest in finding a suitable partner for marriage seemed impossible. She found the singles scene at clubs to be uncomfortable and her social circle seemed to consist of more married friends with a shrinking amount of singles.

Although she had heard of internet dating and saw the ads, she had hesitated to take what she imagined was a rather drastic step. What would her experiences be like? How would she find someone online? What were the risks?

If you are in this situation then quite likely you've considered venturing into online dating to meet someone.

Our lives are increasingly dependant on technology as opposed to face-to-face contact. It is not at all surprising that millions have already ventured into online dating as a way to find a relationship rather than waiting for a chance meeting.

But what are some of the findings as researchers spend more time analyzing the behavior of online daters?

In a study reported on CBS News, 15% of Americans with internet access have visited an internet dating site. 27% of them were 18-29 years old. Obviously online dating is a popular pastime.

The same study showed that 33% of unmarried internet users thought that dating online was a safe way to meet people although 34% acknowledged knowing someone who had a bad experience.

In another study reported by BBC News, online dating was seen as a way for women to feel empowered in relationships. The conventional inhibitions that they had in face-to-face relationships were replaced by a more upfront and in-control attitude when given the anonymity of the internet. Could this improve their chances at finding a perfect relationship?

Professor Helen Petrie was quoted in the BBC interview as stating "There are people who lack interpersonal social skills and would find it very difficult to meet people in bars. They may find it easy to meet in an internet room, but they still have the problem of meeting them face to face and if they have gone too far with the internet relationship, they may find that traumatic."

The truth is, many individuals find the anonymity of online dating encourages a certain amount of exaggeration or lying. While some claim that we always hide things at the beginning of a relationship, trying to put our best foot forward, the internet makes it easier to hide such things as facial expressions, income, marital status and even criminal records.

So while you may find, like Carly, that finding a relationship in the 'real' world is difficult - if you are still considering online dating it is wise to use caution and common sense. Be careful what you say about yourself and try to verify as much information as possible before meeting or personally contacting anyone you've met online and never meet them alone.

[tracey]

well mate Internet Romance is not for me mate i think i would be scard but it my work for others good luck to them that is what i say.

[devilwoman]

ok, I've actually jumped in at the deep end, helped along by my best friend I should add and joined a dating site. Will let you know how I get on. One things certain though, I'll be taking things very slowly and making sure I keep myself safe, too many horror stories not to nowadays

[Tony]

good to hear devilwoman I wish you luck with that you could use some good luck for once. :thumb:
please keep us updated and don't be a stranger around here :)

I wish you well with that :thumb:

[~Teej~]

Well done Devilwoman I hope you find someone really special :)

[Tony]

lol Teej where did you get that pic of me
I don't know that lady lol don't show my wife lol

[~Teej~]

Lmao Tony you are funny...Don't worry, my lips are sealed

[Tony]

hehe cool Teej :thumb:

[**Sapphire**]

ok, I've actually jumped in at the deep end, helped along by my best friend I should add and joined a dating site. Will let you know how I get on. One things certain though, I'll be taking things very slowly and making sure I keep myself safe, too many horror stories not to nowadays

Very good Kay! I wish you the best of luck hun. You are doing the right thing by taking things very slowly. Keep us updated too, we like hearing updates. :)

[devilwoman]

thanks everyone and don't worry Tony, I'll still be here as much as ever. You can't get rid of me that easily lmao.

Well I only joined the dating site last night and already I've had 3 guys messaging me, one of them seems really nice so who knows, maybe 2008 is going to be a good year. Only thing is he lives in Durham but says he has a car and it would be a pleasure to come down and meet me sometime. Will keep you updated

[~Teej~]

Be careful if they seem to keen too quickly hun...that may mean they are only after one thing

[devilwoman]

don't worry Teej, I wont be rushing into anything believe me. I've met far too many idiots to fall for any rubbish now. Will just see how things go. He asked if he could phone me up already, no way am I giving my phone number out to anyone I don't know

[**Sapphire**]

Very good thinking Kay. I remember being in the chat room & it seemed the guys that wanted to meet right away or the phone number turned out to be big time players & just wanted to mess with my head.

If he doesn't like that you don't want to exchange numbers right away, then he's not the right 1 & you can move onto someone else.

[devilwoman]

well I have had a reply and he's happy enough to talk on messenger for now so maybe he's not too bad. Will have a long way to go to prove himself properly though to me.

editing this because of the chat I had on messenger with him tonight. Well now he's really freaked me out. Bearing in mind we only started messaging on the dating site yesterday and we only got to talk to each other one on messenger and already he's talking as if we're a couple. He's coming across as desperate. Calling me darling, telling me he'll love me forever etc etc and the thing that got to me the most and really made me feel like backing off completely is when he told me he'll only ask me one question when we meet up. The question being would I be his partner?

Stuff dating sites, I think I'll give it a miss

[stoner]

I was once involved in an Internet romance - and just like all the other love affairs I'd been involved in that were ruined by long distance - it didn't work.

What started out as role playing in a multi-user dimension (MUD), extended into real life. At that time, all these technologies of text messages, smileys, blogs, my space, etc., were nonexistent. I relied heavily on text-based VAX or UNIX systems, and gopher searches. I still couldn't believe how far the Internet had come, when back in the day, it would take me hours just to download a .gif file via kermit only to find out that I couldn't open it cos my 8088 PC was too slow to process it! :lmao:

Anyway, I met this girl who lived in Vegas at that time. Despite the capabilities of the Internet, I was still old-fashioned at heart. The snail-mails we wrote and sent to each other were perhaps, some of the most intimate exchanges that we ever had. Oh yeah, I was thankful for ftd florists ... I think they're a godsend considering the limitations of technology back then. :o

On line, I was at a loss for words at what the typed word can do when we're both logged on. It made me felt like I could smell her perfume, I could feel her lips, as well as her electricity running through her fingertips ... lol

Unfortunately, because of our distance, we both agreed to an open relationship. That allowed us to date others while we were apart, and over time, we grew apart in the process. I would later find out that she had married someone, and then moved to Cali somewhere ... now that would explain the lack of responses from her after nearly 1 1/5 years of courtship. And then there was silence ... one that would last another year ...

When I started hearing from her again, it was too late. I was just a couple of months away from getting hitched, as she was going through the process of some divorce - California style.

Well ... that's just my .02 cents about Internet romance, and while it may have worked for others, it didn't work for me ...

[AnnaKate]

I met my boyfriend online, and we now have a great relationship! So internet dating can be a good thing. It's just important to be safe and meet the person in a public place. I was very careful when I first started dating him, but I soon discovered that he is a great guy who would never hurt me. I'm so glad I took a chance and met him. We get along really well, and I'm really happy we're together. :) We've been together for 4 and a half months.

[devilwoman]

I love hearing about the success stories, just goes to show that you can find true love online.

[dannygirl]

I met my man on plenty of fish.. and as you can tell from my pic we are both happy

[**Sapphire**]

That's really great dannygirl! I wish the best for the both of you!

Good stories of love can come from meeting someone online. It's too bad that most times we all hear about the bad stories. Online dating I think has gotten a bad rap from hearing about mostly the negative stories.

[aussiecoffee007]

btw i really do like your profile pic ;) what is plenty of fish?

[~Teej~]

I think it's some sort of dating site.

[dannygirl]

plentyoffish.com is a free dating site. and i liked it alot....

[aussiecoffee007]

ohh i see, well apparently he did too! haha did he live right in your city?

[dannygirl]

I lived in Branson Missouri and he lived in Bentonville Arkansas. Thats a 2 hour drive and he drove that for 3 months every weekend! Thats some amazing commitment. Not ALL internet guys are creepy or users. If you seriously take the time to look you'll find him. It'll deff take a few dates but it'll be worth it all in the end... trust me on this! I've had my fair share of internet dates. A few were one-date-wonders if you know what i mean...... but the guy i'm with now is seriously my dream come true....

[**Sapphire**]

That's great dannygirl! :thumb::)

[aussiecoffee007]

that does sound awesome. and you guys seem quite happy now ;)

[dannygirl]

aww thanx we r... kinda rough sometimes... kinda want to well.... kick in in the balls just to get his attention... but today we went wedding dress shopping and we got it narrowed down to just 2 dresses!! so excited!!!!!!! but he doesn't get to see the actual one i pick out.... also if u only knew how many times we have been in Davids Bridal! 8 times!!! LOL!!! He was also doing some major sucking up and *** kisssing for some odd reason... i dunno why but it did earn him a few brownie points...

[**Sapphire**]

That's great dannygirl!

When you make your decision on your dress please come on back & show us the picture of it, we do love pictures! :)

[aussiecoffee007]

whoa sorry i guess i missed that you are engaged! congratulations :) i totally want to see your dress too

[dannygirl]

:)

[Beautiful Mystique]

I met my BF online. We have been together for 17 months now. We live thousands of miles away from each other so imagine the ups and downs we go through every other month.. sometimes, even days!

The last time I visited him was a month ago and it was a much needed break from all that has happened with us. His son had a cochlear implant (in one ear for now) done in early Dec and late Dec 2007, my dear mother passed away so it was hard for both of us as we couldn't be there for one another during our tough times but you know what? We pulled through... and apart from that, we had our own issues and we got through that too.

It's not easy being in an LDR especially in a one that takes you 9 - 13 hours to get to each other!! Most people think it's silly to be in an LDR but for me, it's not. I think it takes a strong - especially emotionally - person to be in one. For all the 17 months I have been with my honey, it has never crossed my mind to sleep with someone else just to fulfill my sexual needs - that - I am proud of!

God-willing, by Sept 2008 - I shall join him permanently. That is something I am looking forward to but I think it's best if I move there for the right reasons.

[**Sapphire**]

Congratulations to you Beautiful Mystique! I hope that you do get the chance to move out to your man permanently.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. :(

[dannygirl]

me too... sweetie.. i know that can deff be hard....

[skywalker160]

Well done on your LDR

Its great when things turn out like that

I'm so happy for you that you pulled through because I know how hard it is like that.

Well done again

Jonathan.

[Beautiful Mystique]

Congratulations to you Beautiful Mystique! I hope that you do get the chance to move out to your man permanently.

Thank you, Sapphire. Oh I am praying hard so that everything will go well for me!

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. :(

me too... sweetie.. i know that can deff be hard....

It was and still is very hard but I'm coping...

:cool:

[JohnTentzeras]

well, if you will ask me, i will not rather find a mate in the internet for some reasons. but if given a chance to meet somebody that is worth loving for, then why not! everybody deserves a chance...

[**Sapphire**]

well, if you will ask me, i will not rather find a mate in the internet for some reasons. but if given a chance to meet somebody that is worth loving for, then why not! everybody deserves a chance...


Welcome to ATLF, glad that you joined us! When you get a chance go on over to your intro. forum & tell us a little bit about yourself John. :)

[lauraaaxbaby]

internet is not for me! but if it works for you then why not

[aussiecoffee007]

it worked for me :D

[desireanddesire]

internet like other social places is a good place to start. you just have to digg a little, to find the lov' :bounce

[blackmagick]

Wow, I never thought online dating would work but I red some of your posts on it. There definatly interesting and change my oppinion.

[Purplechel]

It actually depends on the people who would try it. Online dating is fine if you just know how to handle situations like that because there's a lot of risk to take just to meet someone, if you are really that desperate.:eyebrows:

[**Sapphire**]

It actually depends on the people who would try it. Online dating is fine if you just know how to handle situations like that because there's a lot of risk to take just to meet someone, if you are really that desperate.:eyebrows:


How does looking for love online or possibly having it happen when you weren't looking for it desperate???

[Purplechel]

How does looking for love online or possibly having it happen when you weren't looking for it desperate???

well if that's the case..sometimes it's destiny..it's up to you if you would entertain love online, it's just a matter of choice.:)

[cathy]

Two of my friends got married through online dating.. They are blissfully happy at the moment. I don't see why singles shouldn't try this out...

[needlove]

There are some bad and good points of online dating communities,it depends on how you take it

[PhoenixSoul]

I still believe the best way to meet someone is still in reality.

[Arabella]

I believe in finding the right person online. My cousin met his wife through an online dating website and they are really doing great. In fact, his success in finding his true love made his brother turn to site removed, against forum terms & conditions as well to find his own true love. I think online dating is no different from dating the usual way. It's even more wide in scope as you get to meet a lot more people and not just be limited to the ones in your own city or town.

[annewilson]

I think internet is the best way to find some one for us. Anyone can date any person with help of internet and know about that person.

[babesbillionaires]

I thing it can be done. :hello: