speechless...

[potatoes]

recently i met my first love (& first heartbreak) again...he was online and we talked. He got married last year and his wife is expecting. We chatted and gotten alot of the "stuffs" cleared which is good. I felt genuinely happy for hmi that he got the job he wanted,a wife, a family and everything else seemed to be going right for him.

we talked abit more about "us" and apparently the conversation got alittle bit unexpected.He would say he misses me and he asked things like...are u still holding the teddy bear which i gave u? do u still miss me? do u still tremble when u kiss the bf after us? do u still think about me when ure making love to someone else?...he would say when he was with this ex-gf (the girl after me)...every time they have sex, he would think of me...

i felt that it is not my place or intention to get involved in someone else's marriage.but would a recently married man would want to confess his feelings and wanting to redeem a kiss at all? or issit just heavy rage of hormones?

i honestly and humanly still have feelings for us...perhaps it was something left aside unfinished but it doesn't seem to justify at the cost of so many other people.

[Penguin_Woman]

I understand you have feelings for him still. But do not get involved. What he's doing isn't right. I mean, as you said...he has everything he wanted. Married, good job, baby on the way etc. Yet he wants to ask you things he has no right to ask. He wants his cake and to eat it too. He wants the wife and family and all, but still wants to know you still want him and love him. Do not get involved any further with him. Whoever the guy is that you fell for, it isn't him. You don't want a man who would do that to his pregnant wife. I think you need to cease all contact with him. I know it will hurt but just think of how it would hurt if you got involved with him.

[aussiecoffee007]

yeah, i think he is just trying to sort of... compensate for how--for a lack of better word, predictably and stably his life is turning out, perhaps he wants some spice or something but your feelings do not have be played with for him to get what he wants. if hes serious about it, then he will split. if not... dont get involved, its not worth it in the long run.

[pika]

I would say, since you have an early choice to option out of this messy thing, please do so...don even think about it or even meet up with him.....cause i would predict the one who suffer more will be you in the end....:o

[summit]

I would not read too far into it, when a guy gets married, new job, and is expecting a baby, all within a year it can be a lot to handle, and he may have subliminal thoughts of running because its getting to be too much too soon, and would like to know he has a back-up if he needs one, my guess is if you were not receptive to what he was saying, he would have gone to another ex gf, not worth your time in my opinion

[mashmac]

Ouch potatoes - you could easily slip. Getting involved even from a far with a married man = disaster. Don't I know it. Been there. And still paying for it.

There is no doubt that the two of you cared about each other and clearly connected both physically and emotionally (this I gathere from what you have written, it does sound like you were really in love) - you will both still have feelings.

But it's over and somehow I feel he is being unfair in telling you how he feels. As Summit says - he is probably looking for some distraction. It is quite common that when a wife is pregnant, she loses some of her sexual attraction to a husband (been there done it too) and the husband feels a bit lost in all that. His lover is now only focusing on being a mother and he feels left out. And men are sexual beasts...More so than us. Much more so.

What do you want from him Potatoes? Would you really like to be back with him? Is that realistic at all at this point I mean he is married with a child on the way....It seems very unlikely even if he is saying all those things.
Now if he acts upon it......

Somehow I hope this is just a passing feeling for you that gives you comfort and the affection you need. But please do not get involved more than you have already unless you can have him or anyone else for that matter for yourself. You will get hurt. And that pain is so awful I wouldn't wish it on anyone.