Love to Love
02-28-2009, 05:55 PM
It is going to be a long but this is the first time to tell my love story so be patient and please help me!!!
I had 4 years relationship and for the past 7 months we lived together. When we met in the beginning I knew that he was married but separated. As the time past he told me that he is divorced and everything was ok. Everything was like in a fairytale until last year, when all the problems started. Last April I realized that for a month he is avoiding to be intimate with me. I didn’t ask him anything and I didn’t press him because I thought that he has a lot of problems at work. But one night I become suspicious and when he calls me to go out I told him that I am tired and that I will sleep. I went to his house and I caught him with a hooker. I was hurt and desperate. The next day he call me and show me that he has some problems and some results of the examinations and test and that kind of issues are too embarrassing for the guys to discuss with their girlfriends, and that this was one time only. He asked me to live together. After one month a accept the offer and I’ve decided to forgive. But I didn’t forget. I became jealous, suspicious, overcontroling him and snoopy and everything that you can imagine. We want on a summer holiday for a month and there we’ve talk and discussed everything and I admit that I became possessive and obsessed with him.
After the holiday everything was ok and when we came back I tried and I managed to gain trust in him again. Normally he was helping me with that (he was calling me when he was late, I always knew where he is and sometimes when he thought that I maybe will be suspicious he was inviting me to go with him).Everything was ok. In November from nowhere one of his lost and forgotten friends (girls) had come back in the town. She was living in another state for the past 16 years and he grows up with this friend. Normally I became a friend with her too. And than everything started. He started going out with her and not inviting me. I thought well it is ok, they were best friends, they haven’t seen each other for a long time so it is ok to be together. Until he started to come home and everyday he had a new reason for quarrel. He blamed me that I don’t love him, that he is some kind a project for me because he is very handsome and very rich. I thought it will past and I never answered on the accusation. After two weeks of fights (in which we totally didn’t speak only when we fight and for the things around the house, we slept in different rooms) I couldn’t stand all of this and I was very angry and I’ve decided to confront him with the problem. That night he came home drunk and when I said the first word he started beating me and blaming me that I’ve ruined his life. I couldn’t go out for 10 days because my face, my eye, my ear were swollen and blue. I lied at work and to my friends that I am ill. He was coming home but he couldn’t watch me like that. I was despair. I was and I am still ashamed to tell this. After 5 days he came to me and he told me that he is sorry, and that he has a problem. He is not divorced. And this old friend is also friend with his wife and that she knew everything and that she gave him to court and she is planning to take him everything (apartment, car, half of the firm).
I tried to understand but I just couldn’t stay. I went back to my parent’s house (after all the signs of the fight were gone). I gave him space to solve the problems and to think about what is with us. After two weeks I saw him in a club and he told me that he is going on a trip for one week and that he love me and he want me to come home and that he solve the things with his wife. I couldn’t answer to anything in that moment and I told him to go on the trip and when he comes back we will talk. He came back in the Monday. He called me and came to a coffee shop where I was with my friends. He stayed for 5 min and he told me that he must go somewhere and that he will call me. He didn’t call. On the way home I saw his car in front of a restaurant. When I look inside I saw him and his ex wife, having a dinner. I had a key from his apartment and went there to wait for him; I just wanted to see what he is going to tell me. He came home and he was surprised to see me. When I ask him he admitted everything and he told me that after the restaurant they went to her place but nothing happened. And he bought me a gift from the trip…he bought two gifts one for me and one for her. I run out and I told him that I never want to see him or to spoke with him. He just smiled and answer to me “easy come and easy go”. I was insulted. He also told me that I didn’t respect him because I was treating him as my property. Because I was reading your advices to the other people to go out and I have a lot of friends I am all the time out. In the Wednesday he came in the same club again and while I was in the toilet he took a chair and he sit right next to me. He was acting like everything is ok in front of everyone. I was very angry when I saw him and I told him to leave or I will make a scandal. He left. I don’t know what to feel, I am very confused of his reactions, he wasn’t like that. I also have lot stuffs in his place and I still have a key and his stuffs. What should I do? Is this normal? Does he love me? Has he ever loved me?
I had 4 years relationship and for the past 7 months we lived together. When we met in the beginning I knew that he was married but separated. As the time past he told me that he is divorced and everything was ok. Everything was like in a fairytale until last year, when all the problems started. Last April I realized that for a month he is avoiding to be intimate with me. I didn’t ask him anything and I didn’t press him because I thought that he has a lot of problems at work. But one night I become suspicious and when he calls me to go out I told him that I am tired and that I will sleep. I went to his house and I caught him with a hooker. I was hurt and desperate. The next day he call me and show me that he has some problems and some results of the examinations and test and that kind of issues are too embarrassing for the guys to discuss with their girlfriends, and that this was one time only. He asked me to live together. After one month a accept the offer and I’ve decided to forgive. But I didn’t forget. I became jealous, suspicious, overcontroling him and snoopy and everything that you can imagine. We want on a summer holiday for a month and there we’ve talk and discussed everything and I admit that I became possessive and obsessed with him.
After the holiday everything was ok and when we came back I tried and I managed to gain trust in him again. Normally he was helping me with that (he was calling me when he was late, I always knew where he is and sometimes when he thought that I maybe will be suspicious he was inviting me to go with him).Everything was ok. In November from nowhere one of his lost and forgotten friends (girls) had come back in the town. She was living in another state for the past 16 years and he grows up with this friend. Normally I became a friend with her too. And than everything started. He started going out with her and not inviting me. I thought well it is ok, they were best friends, they haven’t seen each other for a long time so it is ok to be together. Until he started to come home and everyday he had a new reason for quarrel. He blamed me that I don’t love him, that he is some kind a project for me because he is very handsome and very rich. I thought it will past and I never answered on the accusation. After two weeks of fights (in which we totally didn’t speak only when we fight and for the things around the house, we slept in different rooms) I couldn’t stand all of this and I was very angry and I’ve decided to confront him with the problem. That night he came home drunk and when I said the first word he started beating me and blaming me that I’ve ruined his life. I couldn’t go out for 10 days because my face, my eye, my ear were swollen and blue. I lied at work and to my friends that I am ill. He was coming home but he couldn’t watch me like that. I was despair. I was and I am still ashamed to tell this. After 5 days he came to me and he told me that he is sorry, and that he has a problem. He is not divorced. And this old friend is also friend with his wife and that she knew everything and that she gave him to court and she is planning to take him everything (apartment, car, half of the firm).
I tried to understand but I just couldn’t stay. I went back to my parent’s house (after all the signs of the fight were gone). I gave him space to solve the problems and to think about what is with us. After two weeks I saw him in a club and he told me that he is going on a trip for one week and that he love me and he want me to come home and that he solve the things with his wife. I couldn’t answer to anything in that moment and I told him to go on the trip and when he comes back we will talk. He came back in the Monday. He called me and came to a coffee shop where I was with my friends. He stayed for 5 min and he told me that he must go somewhere and that he will call me. He didn’t call. On the way home I saw his car in front of a restaurant. When I look inside I saw him and his ex wife, having a dinner. I had a key from his apartment and went there to wait for him; I just wanted to see what he is going to tell me. He came home and he was surprised to see me. When I ask him he admitted everything and he told me that after the restaurant they went to her place but nothing happened. And he bought me a gift from the trip…he bought two gifts one for me and one for her. I run out and I told him that I never want to see him or to spoke with him. He just smiled and answer to me “easy come and easy go”. I was insulted. He also told me that I didn’t respect him because I was treating him as my property. Because I was reading your advices to the other people to go out and I have a lot of friends I am all the time out. In the Wednesday he came in the same club again and while I was in the toilet he took a chair and he sit right next to me. He was acting like everything is ok in front of everyone. I was very angry when I saw him and I told him to leave or I will make a scandal. He left. I don’t know what to feel, I am very confused of his reactions, he wasn’t like that. I also have lot stuffs in his place and I still have a key and his stuffs. What should I do? Is this normal? Does he love me? Has he ever loved me?