Why do women...?

[Penguin_Woman]

I myself have been asked this by many guy friends on the past and I often see it on here. As I told a member on here once...I like to see myself as a translator between the sexes. Despite being a woman I can't say I fully understand women. But through my own experiences, the experiences of friends and family I think I've come to a decent undertanding of the female "species". :)

I'm gonna give a few scenerios but if a guy wants to add one he'd like an answer to, or if a girl on here would like to add to why that will be great. :D

To start off, Pika asked: Why do girls just like to hint around guys all the time and not be straight and truthful about something? Is there really so many factors to consider for an action?

Well, they might not come right out and tell you for a few reasons.

1) They aren't sure and don't want to make a hasty decision they may regret. Some women tend to over-analyze things. (I myself have been guilty of it too at times)

2) They have an answer, but they don't want to hurt your feelings or lose you

3) (This is a more rare case) They have an answer but enjoy stringing you along. They love the sense of power and control it gives them.


Another question I often see is: Why do women say they want to be friends but then send mixed messages?
Well this happens, again for one of three reasons:

1) They truly don't know what messages they are sending. Maybe they are just flirty/affectionate by nature. Or, if your confused because you had sex they might've just had a weak moment (just got dumped or rejected maybe) and they unconciously needed that reassurance.

2) They know they are sending mixed signals but aren't sure why themselves. maybe they really do like you but just don't want to be hurt. So they do this "come closer-go away" thing with you.

3) They know exactly what they are doing and are enjoying it. Maybe they were hurt before, maybe many times and decided to take revenge on the entire male species.

The way to tell the difference between these 3 is talk to them.

The 3rd one will probably tell you honestly (and maybe proudly) what they are doing and why.

The second one, if you delve deep enough will admit they are truly confused, and if you ask they may tell you why.

The first one will be surprised once they realize what they are doing. They may truly have not known until you point it out.

As I said if anyone has anything to add, feel free.

[pika]

Hi Tuxette, its quite true..lets point out one more question, how does a guy know which scenerio she belongs to before he decide he should just approach her or just stay cool about it?

Its really killing us guys at times....:)

In case you don't understand what i mean,

1) They truly don't know what messages they are sending. Maybe they are just flirty/affectionate by nature. Or, if your confused because you had sex they might've just had a weak moment (just got dumped or rejected maybe) and they unconciously needed that reassurance.

If we believed she is in this stage, the guys might just flirt along and even thought he had some chance, without confronting.....they will just sink deeper and deeper.....till the time they ask, its normally too late


2) They have an answer, but they don't want to hurt your feelings or lose you

Guys wouldn't dare to take up the challenge if they know they are in this stage. Sometimes, might be over concern that by asking might lose a friend or even a chance....so most probably no one will ask...

3) They know exactly what they are doing and are enjoying it. Maybe they were hurt before, maybe many times and decided to take revenge on the entire male species.

This is the last scenerio a guy would think about......it will cause very deep scars if this is the truth.......


But your 3 reasons seems to be in sequence....

everyone will start off with the 1st then after awhile, they will picture themselve in scenerio 2....and finally still cant get the girl and the girl choose to remain silence about it, they will think they are in scenerio 3....and it will just keep repeating in a circle.......back to square one....

Its still so confusing....i have known a girl for 6 months and i am still unable to decide which scenerio i am in...so end up i choose not to think about it at all.:)

[Penguin_Woman]

I really don't know how else to tell. Maybe ask them things, like arethey seeing anyone? If they say they recently broke up with someone (or were dumped) try to casually inquire if it was an amicable break up. While they are answering look at them. Watch for "micro-expressions". (Facil expressions that last only a moment. If they seem angry and bitter...back off. If they seem sad, lonely and wistful tread lightly. They may get too involved too soon only to freak out when you get too close then turn and run. If they are trying to act like it doesn't matter and change the subject (but seem bitter). Run don't walk away...they are the 3 scenerio. If they've not just ended a relationship maybe ask them why they think they arn't with anyone. The important thing here is, talk, ask questions walk into things with open eyes. :)

[pika]

thanks tuxette, i'll remember that....might be useful 1 day.....anyway its best not to get involve with a girl that is attached, just broke off.....or still carrying a feeling for her ex........:p

[EC]

When someone says "Human heart and mind is incomprehensible, total enigma" then we may believe it. When someone say "You will never understand me!" we probably won't believe it :rolleyes:

Men and women, are human. To people who believe the first statement above, this would basically implies that men and women aren't comprehensible and cannot be understood completely.

[Penguin_Woman]

That is very true and very profound. Man, woman, whatever...we are all human and we are all different. Men and women may never fully understand each other. But, I think it's that enigma that brings us together. :)