PDA

View Full Version : Need some advice on how to forget someone you love...


Chris N
04-12-2007, 04:41 PM
Here's the story.

A little over a month ago, I met a girl called Jess. I'd seen pictures of her before, because she was friends with some of my friends and so I half knew who she was. I had even spoken to her before, on msn, because she was round her best mate's house.

Anyway, as soon as I met her I liked her. I thought *wow this girl is really nice*, even though I only spoke to her a couple of times.

A week or so later, a group of us went back to someone's house, who I hardly knew at the time. I had just been invited along because of my good mate =].

The girl I had met before had a little alcohol and so did I, and I spent a lot of time with her. All we really did was hug, and talk a bit. I thought she liked me, and so did my mates who were there.

After that day I started liking her A LOT. I spoke to her every day on msn, thought about her frequently and was generally happy because I thought something could happen.

A few weeks later I found out, at another smally "party" like the one before that she 'didn't like me in that way'. She spent a long time comforting me and apologising to me. We even kissed a bit (apparantly she was giving me something 'to remember her by').

After that I felt a bit depressed, and started liking another girl a bit (Josie), but not as much as I liked Jess. Jess went away for a week or so and I didn't speak to her during that period. I thought I was over her, and I was thinking more and more about Josie.

When Jess came back, I was really happy and loved speaking to her again. We had another small "party" and when I saw Jess again all the feelings came back. I ended up crying at the party because I was so depressed (people didn't know why - they all thought I was over Jess). I completely forgot about Josie after this.

I spoke to Jess a lot the next few days, we were back to how we had been talking before, except she didn't know I liked her, so it seemed a lot easier to talk to her.

One night I was talking to her and she said she could tell that I was depressed. I was. She kept going on at me and telling me that if I didn't tell her what was wrong, that she would be sad too. I really didn't want to tell her. She had grown on me even more and from that moment I think I knew I was in love with her.

In the end she made me tell her (over msn). I told her that I still 'liked' her (I didn't tell her quite how much), and as soon as I had said everything I didn't give her a chance to reply, I just logged off. I was crying. I really didn't want to have to tell her because I knew she would feel bad for not liking me back.

I logged back on about an hour later. The conversation was a bit awkward and I didn't really want to talk much. I kept apologising and she was being really nice and making jokes saying things like "I don't see what you see in me, really! =]" and things like that. We talked for a few hours more.

She said during that conversation "looooooooook i'm not saying i wont ever like you in that way..just idunno how i feel atm"
I thought she was just saying that to make me feel better, but apparantly she wasn't "mm, well you either believe me or dont...but i only talk the truth:P"

The conversation ended with her saying "DONT BE SORRY DUPID:), it actually brought a smile on me face". Which made me feel a bit better.

But the thing is, I've seen her since then and she has showed no signs of liking me back (which I didn't expect), but it hurts. I love her so much and I can't stop thinking about her. Her hugs feel like the best thing in the world, and it makes me want to never let go...

So... yeh there's a bit of a long story.

Just wanted to know what you think? Because I want to get over her (in ways), but I don't see how it's possible when I like her so so so much, and I see her so often (I'm really good friends with her best friends now too). Also, I fear that if I did get over her and she started liking me it would mess everything up even further. I'd hate that.

Should I wait and see if she DOES start to like me? Or try to get over her? Thanks.

Penguin_Woman
04-12-2007, 05:30 PM
First off, welcome to ATLF. We're glad you could join us. Hmm...well, it seems to me she's stringing you along. she may not even know she's doing it. She may like you and enjoy your company and not even realizing how much you care. I think maybe you should tell her how much you like her and that if she doesn't feel the same you will have to not hang out anymore because you can't take not knowing.

IMHO Staying around her, hanging out with her and being her friend dooms you to remain that forever. If you break off from her and walk away she may come to see how much you mean to her. Meanwhile go out meets others and have fun. Even if she does come running back, if your with someone else stick with them instead.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

Chris N
04-12-2007, 05:37 PM
Thanks for your reply Tux, means a lot to me.

Another thing I forgot to mention:

She really liked some guy a while back, but apparantly he took advantage of her when she was drunk or something like that (I'm not too sure what exactly happened) and now she hates him.

I don't think she has liked another guy since then, and she may still be getting over it.

Maybe I should wait and give her a bit more time?

Penguin_Woman
04-12-2007, 06:24 PM
Your welcome. Well, I think that could be. She may come around someday, but meanwhile your life is passing you by. You could be missing out on finding that special woman who feels about you the same as you feel about them. That might've been Josie. If not her there could be another woman out there that you may never meet if your waiting on Jess to come around. My advice stands. I think you to to break away from Jess for a time.

aussiecoffee007
04-12-2007, 07:15 PM
same, i think you need to sort of distance yourself from her and let her figure out how she feels about you... because nwo you are just torturing yourself, but she still doesnt know how she feels, and perhaps she is still dealing with her own demons, but you need to let her figure that out on her own.