wiggles
04-12-2007, 12:27 AM
Hi All,
I'm new, I'll post in introductions later.
To get any kind of insight I feel I should give you a little back story, so here goes.
After losing my job in one hotel (they closed up) I moved (to live in) another hotel owned by the same people. This is where I met this girl. It would often get a bit boring in my room so I'd go and talk to the people who were working. After a while I found myself spending her whole 8 hour shift talking with her. We started going out as friends and gradualy we became a couple.
The bosses didn't approve but they accepted it (they had very little choice they were rarely there), although she (strictly) wasn't allowed in the hotel when she wasn't working, which resulted in many early departures for her. This sneaking around got too much for both of us and we both quit. Unfortunatly this meant me moving back in with my parents which was almost two hours drive away and I don't drive.
The flat I'd been living in we'd treated like our own place and after we lost that if we were to sit in watching TV we'd be doing it with her or my parents and the only privicy we got was our bedrooms, with parents next door.
After I quit I had trouble finding a new job, the money trickled away, and we became less able to go out together.
When we first got together she said that after her last boyfriend she'd really wanted to live the single life for a while but that I made her doubt how much she really wanted to be single.
Our weekends became boring as we did nothing and she began to get a taste for the single life again. I got a job and was going to start getting money in again, but she ended it citing the reason "I want to be single". But we agreed to stay in touch and stay friends.
I had a hard time coming to terms with the news and our relationship became a bit of a rollercoaster as I went from needy, to understanding, to desperate. And finding no-one but her who I could confide in about my feelings I (in no malicious way) think I upset her making her feel rather guilty at times.
Eventually we got to a point where we were able to treat each other as friends. I still had feelings for her but I wanted to keep her as a friend more than I wanted her as a girlfriend.
Anyway one night I got a text asking if I'd like to meet up for an Indian and some drinks as friends.
When I got to her house (her parents were away on holiday) I put my stuff in the spare room and we went out. After getting back having a few more drinks (although neither of us were very drunk) and watching some TV, we went to bed. I said goodnight and went into the spare room, silently congratulating myself on how well I'd coped at being just friends. I start getting changed when she comes into the room puts her arms around my waist and kisses me. We then have sex.
The next morning we're both acting like friends again. We've texted each other about it since and she says she doesn't want to be anymore than friends.
Like I say I'm looking for some insight, I keep thinking that maybe it's not that she wants to be single but she doesn't want a long distance relationship, or that trying to keep a long distance relationship with me is too hard for her.
I don't know, but I know I still love her, I think of her all the time, everything reminds me of her, even songs that weren't out when we were together. I even find myself doing gestures I remember her doing in the same way.
I'm sorry, excuse the ramblings of a lovesick fool.
I'm new, I'll post in introductions later.
To get any kind of insight I feel I should give you a little back story, so here goes.
After losing my job in one hotel (they closed up) I moved (to live in) another hotel owned by the same people. This is where I met this girl. It would often get a bit boring in my room so I'd go and talk to the people who were working. After a while I found myself spending her whole 8 hour shift talking with her. We started going out as friends and gradualy we became a couple.
The bosses didn't approve but they accepted it (they had very little choice they were rarely there), although she (strictly) wasn't allowed in the hotel when she wasn't working, which resulted in many early departures for her. This sneaking around got too much for both of us and we both quit. Unfortunatly this meant me moving back in with my parents which was almost two hours drive away and I don't drive.
The flat I'd been living in we'd treated like our own place and after we lost that if we were to sit in watching TV we'd be doing it with her or my parents and the only privicy we got was our bedrooms, with parents next door.
After I quit I had trouble finding a new job, the money trickled away, and we became less able to go out together.
When we first got together she said that after her last boyfriend she'd really wanted to live the single life for a while but that I made her doubt how much she really wanted to be single.
Our weekends became boring as we did nothing and she began to get a taste for the single life again. I got a job and was going to start getting money in again, but she ended it citing the reason "I want to be single". But we agreed to stay in touch and stay friends.
I had a hard time coming to terms with the news and our relationship became a bit of a rollercoaster as I went from needy, to understanding, to desperate. And finding no-one but her who I could confide in about my feelings I (in no malicious way) think I upset her making her feel rather guilty at times.
Eventually we got to a point where we were able to treat each other as friends. I still had feelings for her but I wanted to keep her as a friend more than I wanted her as a girlfriend.
Anyway one night I got a text asking if I'd like to meet up for an Indian and some drinks as friends.
When I got to her house (her parents were away on holiday) I put my stuff in the spare room and we went out. After getting back having a few more drinks (although neither of us were very drunk) and watching some TV, we went to bed. I said goodnight and went into the spare room, silently congratulating myself on how well I'd coped at being just friends. I start getting changed when she comes into the room puts her arms around my waist and kisses me. We then have sex.
The next morning we're both acting like friends again. We've texted each other about it since and she says she doesn't want to be anymore than friends.
Like I say I'm looking for some insight, I keep thinking that maybe it's not that she wants to be single but she doesn't want a long distance relationship, or that trying to keep a long distance relationship with me is too hard for her.
I don't know, but I know I still love her, I think of her all the time, everything reminds me of her, even songs that weren't out when we were together. I even find myself doing gestures I remember her doing in the same way.
I'm sorry, excuse the ramblings of a lovesick fool.