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View Full Version : Need opinions or answers?


summit
04-09-2007, 09:28 PM
Something that has come to my attention after being on the board for a few weeks now is the fact of people trying to give answers rather than opinions. I too have been very guilty of this, and have caught myself on a few occations, and I think too some others are guilty of this, and should always keep this in mind when posting.

At first it may not seem to big of a deal, but what needs to be realized is the fact that we are advising on matters that we have no professional experience or training with except our own, matters that do not effect the adviser, but effects the advisee a great deal. We are playing with peoples lives here, their way of live, their heart and mind and it is not something to be taken lightly. Sure its easy enough to pass judgement on someone from a few posts, and think you have it all figured out, but usually there is 2 sides to a story, and we only ever hear 1 side here. All that I am trying to remind everyone is I think we should stick to opinions rather than giving people our answers to their problems, I am not trying to single anyone out, if I was, I would be singling myself out but I am just trying to create a bit of awarness of the fact that what we post has the power to transform someones life, and not always for the better if we are not careful.

Could you ever imagine giving wrong advice and someone getting hurt or killed over it?

I recently read a post about how a women from india met her brother in law or whatever behind her husbands back, but nothing happened, everyone encouraged her to tell her husband about the meet, which I think usually would be great advice, but the truth is there are places in India that would consider this infidelity, she and her entire family could be burned to death for such instances. Women can be burned with acid and tortured by showing their bare hands in some places, It just got me thinking was all because its easy to get caught up in helping people, but lets face it, none of us are professionals, nor know the true circumstances of the problem, nor how that culture/religion would react to it.

Penguin_Woman
04-09-2007, 10:18 PM
we do not claim to be professionals by any means. :) We are just average people trying to help others based on our life experience. As for that thread. http://www.asktheloveforum.com/relationship-forum/showthread.php?t=549 Look again. No one ever said to tell her husband. We said stay away from him, don't be alone. Or tell him (brother in law) that his actions make her uncomfortable. I'll come back to this later...but I wanted to say something.

summit
04-09-2007, 10:48 PM
well hey now tuxette, no means to get upset, for one I was not claiming everyone to be professionals, all I was saying that sometimes we need to be careful about the advice anyone gives because its easy to get caught up in it JEESH!.... well it is a monday!

Penguin_Woman
04-10-2007, 12:26 AM
Wasn't gettin' upset. Just saying you had incorrect information. We are very careful about the advice we give out. But, that's all we give out is advice, opinions. People can take it or leave it. :)

Tuxie
04-10-2007, 09:38 AM
well hey now tuxette, no means to get upset, for one I was not claiming everyone to be professionals, all I was saying that sometimes we need to be careful about the advice anyone gives because its easy to get caught up in it JEESH!.... well it is a monday!
Just a friendly word of advice to you summit, about lack of emotion in posts. :) This is another IMPORTANT reason we have smileys... is to convey emotion (Note the smiley in Tuxette's post). :D We who depend on the written (typed) word often need assistance in communicating feeling. ;) This is necessary because certain words or phrases can be misinterpreted on emotion. :rolleyes: Example: A post totally void of smileys MIGHT be misconstrued as totally serious... sometimes, even downright hateful. So, in the future, you might think about using the smileys more. :cool:

In response to this thread, I agree with Tuxette. :eek: You need to do some more research before you start making claims. Yes, it is important to ACTUALLY THINK before you (or anyone of us for that matter) start giving advice. :) But in the end, it is the advisee that needs to take all the suggestions and opinions in and mull them about in their gray matter... and eventually, hopefully, they'll do what's best for them. :D

Ooooh, ya... gotta watch those Mondays. Hahahahaha.....

summit
04-11-2007, 09:22 PM
true enough, I hate online chat for that reason, anyways I think it was taken the wrong way, and I should have looked into my information closer, but my only goal was to remind everyone to be careful since this kind of advice is not to be taken lightly, it can effect peoples lives a great deal.


:D <----------------------------