What can i do??

[pika]

After such a long break....im back...and i discover i still cant seem to let go...

I think you guys might even condemn me once again for my behaviour.

The problem is i get to see her everyday....and we talk...ever since the last confrontations and sorting things out etc....we even decided that we will just remain as friends....and we get really closer...closer than the past....we share our problems....we console each other at times...

Worse part of this is that we do things in the name of friendship and seems like this "friend" is only a cover up for both of us, or should i say myself? Would a friend drop a short message as and when she reaches home? Would a friend get jealous???
The problem is i seems so lost in thinking what she is thinking.....sometimes i try to spike her..sometimes i think she purposely hold back on certain actions.....

And over the weekends things get rough...and constantly i kept reminding myself not to go back to the past...and it seems like im moving back in a circle....

I tried my best not to interfere with her personal life...and i know she has some problems with her bf.....but i kept my thoughts away as well...

Actually at times, i just want to stop myself from committing too much into it..but sometimes i just cant control...especialli on occasion when she is weeping in tears.....

what can i do to distance away from her? is there a need to?

[Penguin_Woman]

Hi, Pika. Yeah...I think you do need to distance yourself. She is currently involved with someone. She may be having problems in her relationship, she may choose someday to break it off. But until that time you need to distance yourself from her.

Try putting yourself in the other guy's shoes. Would you want some guy trying to make a pass at her if she was your gf? Would you want her to break it off with you in order to be with another guy if she was yours? Or worse...would you want her to be with you, but cheating on you with someone else?

You need to consider all the consequences before acting.

[aussiecoffee007]

I think you need to distance as well, this girl is toying with you in one way or more than one, you can be actual friends if you are ready to remain only friends, and feel like ONLY a friend, but until you feel that way then i think you are chartering dangerous waters, she is just playing with you. she has a boyfriend and until she gets untied from him, there will always be emotional if not other problems... so I'd say, distance until shes done with him.

[pika]

The problem is we are both trying our best to distance ourselves...i feel it...and it becomes so unnatural....furthermore she is sitting just beside my cubicle each day....

well of course, i think the problem still lies with me.....my way of thinking....
yesterday we did some talks...and she mention that there are some things best to remain unsaid...because it doesnt improve the situations even if said....
that i agree with her too....i can let her know how i feel...but it doesnt change the fact she is still in love with the other guy.

Yah, i should distance from her. But is another better way to do it naturally so both of us wouldn feel so awkard? i still don think i can act as a NORMAL friend towards her...and suddenly dont talk to her seems weird too......

By the way, i have already stop making any passes for her..like sending her gifts......and we have stop our solo dates since the last clarifications.....the only communication was in office and during lunch...she is my lunch partner and i cannot just throw her aside.....

[pika]

my friend just helped me by saying that i am already in a relationship...hope this helps as well....i mean to her and to me......hope we can realli slowly distance away