does he want me back

[blair1684]

I need some advice, my ex bf and I have been broken up for around 9 months now. He had a new gf for 3 months until just recently. He saw me out around 4 weeks ago and has tried to remain in contact with me ever since. Ill admit I did talk to him but I quickly told him I could not continue talking to him while he was with someone else.

After I said that he called and asked to speak with me he told me that he broke up with his gf, bc ever since he saw me that night he couldnt stop thinking of me and felt that he was wasting his time with this girl if all he could think of was me. He also said that he missed me and he missed the way things were. At first I thought he might want to try again, but what made me think twice is that he also said he wants to be alone right now because he wants to get his life in order. I never once during this conversation said anything about us being together again. He was the one who kept bringing it up. He said he wants to get together as friends and hangout.

Im just not sure what to think of this. I know I should run the other way but it just seems to me for the first time in so long he really seemed sincere and that he does miss me. I know its sounds crazy but I just feel like theres stills something between us. I just dont know why any guy would feel the need to make things right with his ex. Its like as soon as I told him to stop talking to me he wanted me even more. If he really didnt care wouldnt he have been happy that I said that and just went on with his life.

He broke up with me in May because I was acting like one of those jealous needy girls. Honestly after being apart and really looking at the situation I realized I was acting out of control, and would never want to be like that again. I truely did learn from my mistakes.

I just would like to have your opinion on this all. Do you think he might want to try again, or am I jsut wasting my time.

[dutchdiosa]

Hey blair1684!

Well, I see it this way, you mentioned that he wants to get together as friends and hangout. Frankly in my eyes I see no issue here. You say you have learned from your mistakes in the past. If you have this won't be an issue for you, and if he is sincere you will be able to see his sincerity grow and flourish throughout your friendship. I certainly would not suggest jumping right back into a relationship again, however I don't think there is anything wrong with him wanting to make right with you.

Yes, it is the common misconception that men don't want to make things right with their exes, and generally although a common misconception it is true for some jerks out there. However, like I said before, hanging out as friends is not a bad idea. Just remember, stay friends! Let him prove his worth to you and if he means it he will stick around. Also, don't sit around waiting for every move he makes if you do decide to take this on.

Good luck hun! Luv ya!
~dutchdiosa

[**Sapphire**]

Welcome to ATLF blair1684, glad that you joined us here. :hello:

I have to agree 100% with the advice that dutchdiosa gave you blair. Be friends with him, IF you would like to do that, take time to get to know him again & make sure he does prove that he's changed & really does want you back in his life before you take the next step.

[aussiecoffee007]

any update on this?

[Gonz]

I agree also with Duthdiosa. If you actually learnt from you mistakes, you should feel confident on not doing it again. However, you should go slow. It is a great idea to be "friends" at first to see if he has changed and to see if things has changed.
There is one note I want to say, I noticed that you talked from a position as if you had all the fault or that you are the one responsible that things didnt work out.... take what Im going to tell you and record it in your mind, " relationships are made by two individuals" so, if things didnt work out, or if you acted needy, it may be for a reason. Think about it. It is both fault that things dindnt work. Dont put all the blame on yourself. Think about this... I hope it works...