Do i really need to move on or should i still accept him?, need some advice

[cookie]

In my life i never doubted him about the things his telling me though he always keeping me hanging around, maybe because i love him so much that's why i always forgive him until a certain points our life opened ( to try to leave our lives together in our home town because we are both far from each other) he told me that he wants to be with me on Christmas and change our lives into One( to get married) so i trusted him , i past my resignation letter in the Company even though my position is in a higher position, i turned down everything my condo, my career, everything co'z i thought this is what im waiting for ( to be together and have a family), i went back home to be with him but i was surprised because his not there. he lied to me, he told me that we was already Home but his not... he's still in Switzerland and he'll be home last dec 19 i waited but i got wasted no one knocks on my door even text messages i was so disappointed until i have decide to take the last flight yesterday Dec 25, i sent him SMS him several times but he never replied any until yesterday morning as i was in the airport i saw text message from him saying "All i can say is I'm Sorry, in due time you can forgive me" , then i replied to him "U are always forgiven just leave me alone,have a life ... the one you deserve ,have a great Christmas" as i was writting it my heart felt pain i have inside it was really painful i want to cry but i fight it because im in the airport, im very speechless that time until i arrive in Hongkong for stopover, as im waiting the Pain terrifies me so i cried telling myself to move on but still kept on thinking about him until know... what should i do? need advice...

[aussiecoffee007]

wait, wait, i just want to make sure i have the story right--he tells you that he wants to marry you, and be with you on christmas, makes you meet him at his house, go to the airport take a plane all that, and then he never shows up? and he didnt tell you anything? why didnt he email you or call you or text you? what even happened to make him not come?! this guy, sorry to say it, sounds like a total jerk. rude, leading you on, leaving you alone on christmas?! not a keeper.

all he can say is NOT "im sorry" he owes you much more of an explanation!!

this guy sounds like you should leave him behind asap, i mean... i know you love him and i know its hard, but it sounds like your life would be better off wtihout him--he doesnt sound like he can give you what you need, in terms of the family or the marriage or even the commitment--he doesnt have enough commitment to SHOW UP, let alone tell you why he didnt come!!!

i think anyone deserves better than this guy and you are better off without him :( perhaps you should try not talkign to him for a while, building your life back without him, and try to meet a guy who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated :(

[cookie]

actually his my boyfriend 11 years ago but we seperated after 3 years , we went on and off until i decided to move on, i left him because he take me forgranted as im moving on i did'nt knew that i was pregnant but i never had the chance to tell him so i went back to to the states and take the advice of my best friend( to marry him and forget all the bad things came up) we got married but we seperated after 11 months because he finally meet his dream if his life... everything was ok , i tried to look for him until 5 years later i meet a guy and we became so close not knowing that guy was his first cousin, i just found out when we were talking about the old days of our lives i told them a story about a person whom i love and have loved the most and he asked me who's that person is.... i answered him who he was and he can't speak to me for a minute until he told me that ...the guy your telling me is my first cousin... i was so happy coz finally i found him so get intouch with him again and its a long story to tell but we settled it .... until last month his planning to settled down and go back to our home town so i trusted him....but he never showed up... until now my minds keeps on asking why he left me hanging not knowing any:(

[Pink]

He definitely owes you an explanation, but it doesn't look like you're going to get one. I'm sorry you had to leave your job and give up your home for him. You just have to be strong and try to move on. It will be hard - no doubt about it, but I know you can do it. Try to keep yourself busy with family and friends so you aren't home alone. If I were you, I would not talk to this guy anymore. He is no good and it will only bring you down if you do.

[cookie]

Yes i do get myself busy but when i sit down and have coffee i can't control my mind to not to think of him maybe i'm still waiting for an explanation...and i can't control myself to not to cry...

[aussiecoffee007]

what happened to his first cousin? do you have any feelings for him still? i think hes just incapable of staying put and having a committed relationship with you, because the thought scares him too much--or perhaps since youve already been married, he doesnt want to repeat the past.

but i do agree--i think you really have to let go of him. hes no good for you or for anyone right now. i wouldnt wait around for an explanation--i dont think hes going to give you one, or else he already would have :( im sorry

[**Sapphire**]

Welcome to ATLF cookie, I'm glad that you were able to post your problem here with us so we could try our best to help you out.

I'm really sorry that this has happened to you. He's a real jerk to lead you on in the way that he did by making you think he & you were going to be together when he didn't even mean it. He doesn't deserve your sadness & tears, you need to get soo angry at him that you want to hit him if you were to see him face to face.

Try to get your life back together, that will help to keep your mind occupied & not think about him so much. Spend some time with family & friends, find a hobby, something, anything that will help you to not dwell on him anymore.

He needs to tell you more that I'm sorry, but since he's such a total jerk he's not going to give it to you. So you have to try your hardest to move on & put this inhuman person out of your mind.

(((HUGS)))

[Tony]

welcome to the ATLF cookie
I am so sorry this so called guy has treated you like this
I can understand this so called man has hurt you
he would not be man enough to give you an explanation
my heart goes out to you hun
we are all here for you on or off the forum ( Hugs )
to be honest hun you are too good for him

[MickeyDeanEveryone]

...i think anyone deserves better than this guy and you are better off without him :( perhaps you should try not talkign to him for a while, building your life back without him, and try to meet a guy who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated :(
Aussie said it how it is...you can find MUCH better. I'm sorry but guys like him absolutely disgust me and they give all men a bad name :nono:. I hope you feel better, but don't get too down about it though, he's not worth the energy it takes to feel upset. Find a real man who actually knows how to treat and respect a woman.

[coolbust]

Love certainly doesn't make much logical sense. This has probably made you start thinking about him even more, which may have been his intention all along. He has shown you he does not have integrity so any relationship that forms will probably not be a good one anyway. I wish you peace and healing. Namaste.

[cookie]

I have been trying to do apply all the things that i've read here, the more i'm trying to move on the more feel sorry for myself... it stressed me so much when i'm home, yesterday i was walking on the street and apparently i saw couple crossing the street so sweet(holding hands) then i cried i coz i remembered him ...then i start to ask myself... of all people why me? , i was about to buy a coffee but instead i went back home and cry ,thinking and trying to find an answer until i fell asleep. I want to call him to find an answer of all the question left behind, should i call him? or just wait until time passed by?...

[cookie]

I really don't where to start again...

[**Sapphire**]

I think it's best if you don't call him cookie. If he hasn't been honest & adult about why he did what he did by now, he won't ever do it. If you call him & talk to him, it's only going to hurt worse. If you call him, leave him a message & he never calls you back, it's back to hurting really badly again.

It takes time to heal, especially from something like what happened to you. Take each day as it comes, do what you can to keep busy & try your best to get over him.