A Friend Betrays you...

[lisa843]

What would you do if you had a friend of about 3 years ...
you met them on-line....were very close...(you really cared for this person-not romantically..but as a true friend...and would have done anything for them....and never done anything to hurt them)
....you even talked on the phone often....

all of the sudden, out of the blue, they started acting distant...then told lies to you and on you...AND disclosed personal info about you that was told in confidence??
They even went so far as to help someone else try harrass you...as they watched the whole thing go down....

You couldn't talk with them anymore because of several reasons...
phone broke and had to be replaced...even the sim card..(I no longer had their number and they didn't bother to call me anymore.....OR give me a chance to know WHY they turned on me...and I can't figure out what happened??

I've accepted the fact that the friendship is over now....
too much stuff happened and it would never be the same again...
I admit I did do some things...AFTER I was done wrong, not before. I know two wrongs don't make a right...But I was hurting and felt so wronged.
I know it's over...
but I'm still hurt from all the lies and just not knowing WHY??
..............
When someone does you wrong....Do you ever feel like you want to pay them back in kind?? Do you try to tell your side of things....
or do you just let it all go??

What do you think?? What would you do??

[**Sapphire**]

Been there done, that with online "so called friends". I've run the gammot of back stabber & that's why I am extremely careful in talking to people now online. There are only a very choice few that I will talk to personally & they still don't know a whole lot yet, I'm working on that.

I've tried to be nice to people, but I honestly don't know if some people online think I'm the backstabber, a liar, jealous whatever they may be thinking. I've tried to be good to people, but there are just some people out there that will no matter what take whatever I do the wrong way & just talk trash. Those people are extremely small, petty, nasty people & will get their Karma to kick them in the a** in the end.

The lastest backstabber I would love to re-pay the person, but you know what I know what that person is really like & what their life is like, they are getting their karma anyway, so why should I bother? Not to mention, hey, the person is online, many miles away from me, so I'm not going to get worked up over someone that I will never meet in my lifetime. Heck even if I had the chance to meet the person, I wouldn't, they aren't worth my time at all!

[lisa843]

Sapphire...
I'm sorry you've had that experience too...

I guess we do have to chalk it up to life lessons, be more careful and just learn from it without getting bitter or stooping to their level....and if we slip...own up to it and move on...

It's hard, but I know it is for the best. Everything happens for a reason...and what goes around comes back around....I do believe that...

thanks for listening and your input and all. :)

[MickeyDeanEveryone]

Unfortunately I have had my losses as well. One of my best friends and his girlfriend who I have both known since high school got involved in some stupid stuff last year and ended up turning on my group of friends and I. No mutual agreement was able to be made, so we broke contact. It was a lesson learned how some people may change throughout life and to enjoy every moment that you have with someone.

[lisa843]

Unfortunately I have had my losses as well. One of my best friends and his girlfriend who I have both known since high school got involved in some stupid stuff last year and ended up turning on my group of friends and I. No mutual agreement was able to be made, so we broke contact. It was a lesson learned how some people may change throughout life and to enjoy every moment that you have with someone.
.........................................
very true...
I think sometimes friendships are like romances....if they are not nurtured and cultivated...they won't continue to grow and evolve... they will become stale. Sometimes friends just end up going in different directions...
they want different things out of life, have different motivations, goals and expectations.

I've learned to look at it like this: if it ends....you have learned all you can from that situation and that person....or it just wasn't meant to be or last forever. Like someone once said there's a "season for everything under the sun..."

[Pink]

I'm sorry this happened to you, Lisa. :( I know how you feel. I've been in a similar situation before, and it really hurt. You trust someone so much you think they'd never hurt you, but that isn't always the case. When it happened to me I wanted to get them back for hurting me, but I realized I was the bigger person and it would come back on them.. Like what Sapphire said. Karma will come back on them, Lisa. It always does.

If I were you, I'd let this one go and just take it as a lesson learned. Be cautious about who you talk to, and what info you give out because you just never know who's on the other side of the computer screen. It sucks we can't trust everyone, but that's just life I guess. I hope you're okay now, though. :)

[daisychip]

I've definitely done the pay-back but those games get old and to actually be the better person, I know I have to be the one that ends it. Besides, it just makes me feel bad about myself and there's nothing worse somebody else could say or do than what I do to myself. My last bf thinks this kind of petty childish thing makes him an intelligent man Lisa, he'd go on and on if I didn't completely shut him out of my world. I STILL don't undrstand what kind of purpose he was supposed to serve in my life. NIGHTMARE!!!

ANYWAY.........

I only once tell my side and leave it at that. I don't find the need to try to convince people to think diferently. They either do or don't when they hear my side. If the relationsip is very important I might try to come to an understanding or compromise but I'm finding those less and less. Important relationships with friends or bf's.

These people went to alot of work to try to hurt you. I am sorry you have also ran into such worthless trash. You must be very important!!! For them to spend so much time plotting against you. Thats trhe way I like to look at it.....lol......'I know it's hell living w/o me!' hahaha

[lisa843]

Thanks y'all. I agree and appreciate all you said...
I know I did do some things to try to get back (because I felt so wronged) & tell my side of things...and you're right, it really didn't help me feel better. In fact it made me feel worse to stoop to their level. I did learn my lessons. And I have let it go now.... ;)

[Pink]

Good! And I'm happy for you, Lisa. :)

[~Teej~]

Been there done, that with online "so called friends". I've run the gammot of back stabber & that's why I am extremely careful in talking to people now online. There are only a very choice few that I will talk to personally & they still don't know a whole lot yet, I'm working on that.

I've tried to be nice to people, but I honestly don't know if some people online think I'm the backstabber, a liar, jealous whatever they may be thinking. I've tried to be good to people, but there are just some people out there that will no matter what take whatever I do the wrong way & just talk trash. Those people are extremely small, petty, nasty people & will get their Karma to kick them in the a** in the end.

The lastest backstabber I would love to re-pay the person, but you know what I know what that person is really like & what their life is like, they are getting their karma anyway, so why should I bother? Not to mention, hey, the person is online, many miles away from me, so I'm not going to get worked up over someone that I will never meet in my lifetime. Heck even if I had the chance to meet the person, I wouldn't, they aren't worth my time at all!

Wow I am sorry someone has made you feel like that

What did they do to stab you in the back?.
When you explained how you felt did they apologize? or at least explain their behaviour?.

I hope so.
There is no point getting upset about people online.
At the end of the day just block them from your contact list, they can be gone within minutes and you won't have to listen to them ever again.
Thats the nice thing about online, real life is where it is difficult

[searchingwithin]

Being betrayed always hurts!

To go out and start stabbing you, without first coming to you with whatever their problem with you is, is ludicrous behavior. Even then, if you couldn't work it out.

This person is certainly not someone I would choose to have in my life, and if it were me, I would not waste another thought on them. I choose to spend my time and emotional energy on those that respect me, and make me feel good about myself, and those that don't, have no place in my life.

As far as getting them back, we all have those thoughts when someone hurts us, and I am sure, that somewhere along the line, we all have acted on those thoughts. But now, you not only have to find forgiveness for them, you now have to forgive yourself.

Sometimes young children will misbehave for attention. They would rather have bad attention, than no attention at all. This person is seeking attention, and by giving it to them, and acknowledging their behavior in any way, is only rewarding them, and giving them the power that they seek.

[lisa843]

Being betrayed always hurts!

To go out and start stabbing you, without first coming to you with whatever their problem with you is, is ludicrous behavior. Even then, if you couldn't work it out.

This person is certainly not someone I would choose to have in my life, and if it were me, I would not waste another thought on them. I choose to spend my time and emotional energy on those that respect me, and make me feel good about myself, and those that don't, have no place in my life.

As far as getting them back, we all have those thoughts when someone hurts us, and I am sure, that somewhere along the line, we all have acted on those thoughts. But now, you not only have to find forgiveness for them, you now have to forgive yourself.

Sometimes young children will misbehave for attention. They would rather have bad attention, than no attention at all. This person is seeking attention, and by giving it to them, and acknowledging their behavior in any way, is only rewarding them, and giving them the power that they seek.
.............................
Very wise words.....
I agree. thanks. :thumb:

[daisychip]

This person is seeking attention, and by giving it to them, and acknowledging their behavior in any way, is only rewarding them, and giving them the power that they seek.

Very well said! To bad when supposed 'adults' act in this way. We're not perfect and slip sometimes but some never see how ridiculous they look.

[**Sapphire**]

Very well said everyone. The hardest part about being online & getting close to people online is many pretend to be decent human beings, when the reality is they will use you, stab you in the back, talk about you to others THINKING you will never find out & straight up LIE to you very easily.

It's a bit easier for people to do those said things online than it is in real life, so alot of people will do things they don't normally do, or just bring out the "wicked" that's always been lurking when they get online.

Those people are straight up SAD!! To have such small lives that they live that way & think being the way they are online is acceptable behavior for a person, I have nothing but pity for them.

I think I've enjoyed putting those people in their place that have done the above to me when I found out. There's something a bit sweeter finding out a person online isn't as sneaky as they THINK they are & finding out who they really are & then proceeding to tell them I know what they are & then never talking to them again. I can't tell you all how many people I have blocked from accounts, removed their emails, IM's etc. over the years, it's extremely easy for us all to do when someone online does us wrong.

[~Teej~]

Good for you Sapphire :)

I am glad you have removed them from your life so they can't upset you anymore :) no one needs that.