please help me im lost in this situation!

[gfob0413]

This is my first time writing on this board, and its because im this lost :-(

I am 19 years old about to turn 20, and the girl is 18. We started going out in high school when she broke up with her boyfriend of a year and 8 months for me. We saw each other on and off for a year, but the major factor in our ending was distance, i was 40 min away from home at college and she wanted me closer so i could be with her more. We got into some arguements near the end and she started hinting that she was going to go back with her ex boyfriend. I told her "He will cheat on you again' (because thats what he did before).
We started talking again, and sure enough i heard that her boyfriend cheated on her, so i told her. She immediately broke up with him, and she told me that i was right all along. we became friends again before this happened, but even after this happened I felt that i was the only one holding our friendship together, so i told her that it would be the best if we didnt keep talking, because since she was the last person i was with, naturally i still have feelings for her. She immediately told me the next day that she didnt want that to happen, and that she wanted to start over. I dont know what I should do or even if getting back together with her is still an option. I dont know if she looks at me that way anymore. She had to change her phone number because her ex wouldn't leave her alone, and now when i send her text messages as a friend she wont even write me back, because she's probably affraid that I will turn into him, someone who won't leave her alone....
So what should I do? Should i ask her out sometime? Should i tell her how i really feel? I feel like getting back with her could potentially be a bad idea especially since she is going to college in the fall and might want to experience other people and relationships. I am just completely lost and this keeps me up at night, i think about it all day long, i just can't get her out of my head :-(

If anyone has any advice for me i would greatly appreciate it, i am so lost right now and i dont feel like theres anyone i can talk to who doesn't already have an opinion about her or the situation.

Thank you very much

[Tuxie]

First off, welcome gfob0413 to ATLF. We're glad you're here. :)

She immediately broke up with him, and she told me that i was right all along. we became friends again before this happened, but even after this happened I felt that i was the only one holding our friendship together, so i told her that it would be the best if we didnt keep talking, because since she was the last person i was with, naturally i still have feelings for her. She immediately told me the next day that she didnt want that to happen, and that she wanted to start over.
Tough situation... as in most relationships, there are good signs and bad signs. The fact that she says that she wants to start over with you could be a good thing, and she wants to keep communicating.

She had to change her phone number because her ex wouldn't leave her alone, and now when i send her text messages as a friend she wont even write me back, because she's probably affraid that I will turn into him, someone who won't leave her alone....
This is a very confusing and conflicting sign. She says she wants to communicate, yet she doesn't text you back?! Have you ever thought about asking her why she doesn't? This is also very suspicious...

So what should I do? Should i ask her out sometime? Should i tell her how i really feel? I feel like getting back with her could potentially be a bad idea especially since she is going to college in the fall and might want to experience other people and relationships.
You bring up a good point here. Since she is going off to college in the fall, there is a good possiblity she will see someone else. You need to sit this girl down and get her to make a commitment, or at least find out if this is what she wants with you. Just ask her out for the purpose of talking about these things that concern you. Be very open and upfront with her... tell her exactly how you feel. Communication is very necessary and needed. Wishing you the best... keep us updated. :)

[EC]

I don't know why her ex cheated on her, are there any issues? Does he know you guys are kind of seeing each other? If her ex is someone that always cheat and always have this feeling of "winning", he just wants her back to prove his point of being a man that can get any girls in to bed. Depends, I don't know too much background but that's not really relevant for what you should do anyway.

The girl is still 18, fairly sure she will want to experience other relationships and people like you said. I wouldn't take it as a long term thing, but it's something difficult to understand since we're all brought up to believe that relationships are built to last.

[mashmac]

I think she still hasn't quite recovered from her previous relationship and is quite fragile therefore a bit unsure if she want to risk getting hurt again but probably a bit unaware of it herself. And the ex is still clearly doing her head in. I hope he won't find her number. But at the same time she doesn't want to lose you.

What confuses me is that she says she wants to be with you and then doesn't reply? And pending on how it goes you will know what you can say or not.

Perhaps you could suggest a meeting in a public and comfortable place just for a chat and she doesn't feel pressured into anything?

Have they been any developments since you posted? Has she replied to you?
She is quite young and college is not far away so chances are you both might meet someone although I am sure that for you it's doesn't seem that way right now but...

As Tuxie says - this is not an easy one. I would be totally confused too. You are getting mixed signals. Waiting for you to update us so I can try and help some more. I hope we did at least a little.