Lucky
11-10-2008, 03:40 AM
You can ease a lot of long-term discomfort and confusion by defining your expectations in advance.
For instance, unless you're looking for a casual, non-exclusive relationship, at some point, one of you is going to have to move. That can add a whole lot of stress to your already strained couplehood. So, from the beginning, set out a game plan.
Are you evaluating whether one of you will move, and if so, does that mean marriage? Or are you just trying to maintain the relationship as it stands now, perhaps in a different place?
Recognize that you can't compare a long-distance relationship to one based on physical proximity. But you may be surprised how much a relationship can grow - if you work at it. Late-night talks and thoughtful letters can convey a lot of what is most important in the long-term: your goals, values and dreams.
But simple companionship and connectedness is often the meat and bones of a relationship -- and you still have to prepare yourself for the absence of his or her warmth, smile and all the wonders of non-verbal communication.
Discuss your communication needs and limits. It's likely that one partner will need more communication more than the other. Be prepared to be flexible.
If you want more contact than your partner, try to be less demanding. If you need less, try to be a little more communicative than you might tend to be. Meet in the middle.
For instance, if he wants to talk daily and you don't, perhaps you can commit to sending a one-line loving e-mail each day, just so he knows you're thinking of him.
For instance, unless you're looking for a casual, non-exclusive relationship, at some point, one of you is going to have to move. That can add a whole lot of stress to your already strained couplehood. So, from the beginning, set out a game plan.
Are you evaluating whether one of you will move, and if so, does that mean marriage? Or are you just trying to maintain the relationship as it stands now, perhaps in a different place?
Recognize that you can't compare a long-distance relationship to one based on physical proximity. But you may be surprised how much a relationship can grow - if you work at it. Late-night talks and thoughtful letters can convey a lot of what is most important in the long-term: your goals, values and dreams.
But simple companionship and connectedness is often the meat and bones of a relationship -- and you still have to prepare yourself for the absence of his or her warmth, smile and all the wonders of non-verbal communication.
Discuss your communication needs and limits. It's likely that one partner will need more communication more than the other. Be prepared to be flexible.
If you want more contact than your partner, try to be less demanding. If you need less, try to be a little more communicative than you might tend to be. Meet in the middle.
For instance, if he wants to talk daily and you don't, perhaps you can commit to sending a one-line loving e-mail each day, just so he knows you're thinking of him.