PDA

View Full Version : Cheating spouses again - for EC first


mashmac
03-08-2007, 08:24 PM
As you know, I am the cheating wife. I can only say from my experience that it certainly began at first because I was in desperate need of affection and wasn't getting affection at home. I think reasons vary from one story to the other but that's the premise: someone moves you when you are already on shaky grounds and it's so easy to give into temptation. You just want someone to hold you, to rest your head on their chest so they can lift all that weight of your shoulders, feel light, feel the bubble, feel one.

So I ended up cheating. Because someone was loving me and I could love them back. And I so craved for affection, I didn't know how much until I met that person. I am supposed to be this strong, funny, bright woman. And then love just runs me over. Great. But serves me right. I now have clear proof that regardless of all my alleged knowledge, I failed on the basic ABC of a relationship and I am an idiot.

My partner is not very good at expressing emotions. None. I guess we stopped communicating.

He knows I betrayed him, he made me say it, he decided to stay. Because he loves me? No idea. He never says. But we keep up appearances. That's the way it is.That's the way it was before.

If you love your partner and have both agreed to carry on, you have to overcome this. Was it just a fling? Do you know him/her? Mine was a full blown affair with the view to... never mind.

Of course nothing good can come out of betrayal especially if you carry on despising them and pretending you don't know. No matter what they say, it's not all black or white. More often than not it's quite shady. And they are consequences, emotionally on all involved. And if you overcome betrayal, the two of you will have a love probably much
stronger than others, if you are able to resurrect the passion from before and combine it with the strength you will draw from overcoming this.

This is long, a bit of a rumble and I might have totally missed the point.

PS: And I just finished eating a toasted Vegemite sandwich. Yummie.

gotdumped
09-07-2008, 04:47 AM
Hi mashmac,

I stumbled upon your post while I was trying to look for some advice regarding relationships. I'm a newbie by the way and I've never joined any forum before. Your post caught my attention because its somehow related to where my current situation is. The difference is I'm not the cheating wife, I was the "loving" person. I'm a guy by the way. I fell in love and had an affair with a girl who's in a relationship (they have a kid but not married). She wasn't happy with the guy anymore and she kinda lost the feeling... so I stepped in. Months after she realized that she still love the guy and that she wanted to fix their relationship and broke up with me... I know she's doing the right thing... I still love her and I dont know what to do...

Just want to share my story. :)

**Sapphire**
09-07-2008, 02:10 PM
Welcome to ATLF gotdumped, glad that you joined us. :)

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, but I think you did the right thing by stepping out of the picture & letting her work on her relationship. If it doesn't work out, then maybe she can leave him & come back to you.

I know it's hard on you because you don't have her anymore, but maybe it's all for the best for now.

We are here for you whenever you need it on or off the forum.

aussiecoffee007
09-07-2008, 09:26 PM
im sorry for the both of you, maybe she will either realize she does want to be with him or she will choose between the two of you and maybe your role was just to help her figure out what she wants, which sucks for you, and i know that. were all here for you :) for both of you