Have you ever been used?

[Tuxie]

Has anyone ever been in a relationship where it became painfully clear that you were being used? Ya know... just kept around because you were convienient for the other person, and then dumped when they found something better (so they think). Anyone care to share their experiences?

[mashmac]

I am not sure but isn't love is selfish so when you love don't you use people to satisfy that feeling and just dump then when you think someone else fits you better? You had a good time, now you are ready for something else, too bad they still care...

I am starting to think I am really crap at helping people here - the notion of love totally eludes me. I've been do badly damaged. And I just can't imagine
having to suffer that way again. It just brought me so much pain. Exactly two years no and my heart is still bleeding. J'en ai marre...

[jimbo666]

i've been used before...it hurt me and it still bothers me...i'm the kind of guy that will only have sex if there are feelings and i'll make someone wait until i know that we're going to be together....well my one and only date i messed that up and got caught up in everything she was telling me and the way she was treating me so i ended up having sex with her and i was so happy until 2 days later she admitted that she lied to me and used me for sex...

[EC]

Hmmmmmm....

Its about the balance too, also what sort of 'use' it is.

In general society, you have to give before you can take. In relationships, what makes it special is the appreciation of the receiver of all the giving, we normally give in relationships without expecting anything back.

But if you're just taking, not giving at all, and then still do not appreciate, you're a user.

[mashmac]

I can think about quite a few guys that would kill to be in your shoes jimbo!

[jimbo666]

yeah i'm told that and it was nice :) but thats not what i was hoping for ya know...but yeah i wont lie she was gorgeous and it was great so no regrets there...i'd just like more than the sex lol...

[mashmac]

I also want more than sex (wanted) but good sex usually accompanied by sentiments even if it'd not for the long run. So jimbo you have plenty of time. Enjoy what's on offer - just stay safe (sorry for preaching but that whole aspect freaks me out big time!)

[pika]

Well, i think if you willingly know that you are been make use of, and you continue letting it happen, i think at that point, you should be enjoying it.

There is no right or wrong but i would say everyone make use of one another here or there just to feel better. Yes she make use of you, you also make use of others.......thats reality....no one is a saint.

Ask yourself, have you not let one person down before

[T12am]

Feels unbearable but it was just anything to be with that person.

[jimbo666]

so its been a while since i got on here but....it happened to me again :( i've been used and i'm hurt again. so i saw this girl for a while and i cared about her a lot and i guess she didnt care so much about me like i thought she did. why do girls do this? things were going perfect everyday it was great then one day she said she cant see me anymore cuz she's not over her ex...well she kept talking to me everyday and would just say she's not ready for a relationship so i said ok i can give you time until you are....well she kept saying that and then she posted something on myspace saying she hung out with her significant other all weekend...had great sex...and was crushing him bad. when i asked her about it and called her a liar and told her she was wrong for it she denied it until i said i saw it on myspace then she got defensive and said she can crush someone and see others if she wants to....i said yeah well its not right when you mislead me and she said she didnt...she said she couldnt be with anyone etc. why did she keep talking to me if she never cared? also it bothers me that she didnt have feelings for me. after 2 months how do you not have feelings for the other person??? when we were together she was sweet and she stayed every night with me and it was great....did she only want sex? this isnt the first time this has happened to me and i'm hurt that i open up completely and give these girls everything i have to give and dont really get anything in return? i wouldnt do these things to a girl i dont get it....

[**Sapphire**]

I'm sorry to hear that you got hurt jimbo. Maybe she just wasn't the right 1 for you or she wasn't mature enough for you, I don't know.

Not every woman uses men though, I don't know why anybody would do that men or women.

I wish I had some advice for you, other than to hang in there & don't give up hope of meeting the right woman, someone who won't use you & hurt you.

[T12am]

After my experience I can say with confidence that I don't trust anybody anymore. Being hurt lasts for a long while but in a way, it makes you stronger depending on how to take it. I know it sounds cliche but it's true.

[jimbo666]

thanks for what you said sapphire :). however i believe that you shouldnt not trust people. it's not fair if you dont trust the next person and hold back feelings for them. maybe its just me but no matter how much i end up getting hurt i'll always give every girl an equal chance....me being completely honest, open and giving everything i got and hopefully someday it'll pay off for me.

[~Teej~]

Good for you Jimbo...It's good that you give your all when going into every relationship and not jolding back because of what other people have done to you in the past. I am proud of you...You are a decent person and I really hope that someone sees that in you someday and they snap you up :)

[**Sapphire**]

I agree with Teej jimbo, it's a good thing that you still continue to give your all to a relationship.

Alot of people after getting hurt tend to hold back for fear that it may happen again. I know for myself I have held back a little bit in the past, not to the point of not telling the man how I felt etc.. I would let go more & more as the relationship went on. The same goes for friendships with me, I hold back as I really don't trust people, but as the friendship continues on I start to open up more & more.

[aussiecoffee007]

ive been used but i didnt realize it til afterward... i think all he wanted was the physical stuff which he wasnt goign to get from me, obviously, so then it just ended like that

[stoner]

I had my share for various reasons in the past, and the experiences weren't pretty. Personally, I felt as if:

1) I was a cork to cover up the hole in a bottle, thus becoming the fall guy to save her from embarrassment

and/or

2) someone took my heart, crumpled it like a piece of scratch paper, and then threw it in the litter box.

[sweet26]

Ive been used. More times than I can count. Im overly nice to people and a long time ago, very gullible. I think i still am to an extent. But, it hurts to be used. Although i had no strong feelings for the people who used me, it still hurts knowing that people can be so deceptive.

[~Teej~]

Yeah I have been used..a lot of times actually :(

[caspa]

yes same here, i i have been used and it hurts bad, when you think you've found someone and you really give it your all and then they tell you it cant work!.... I'm well to nice for my own good... i don't wanna be hurt any more and find it really difficult to trust someone or get close to them coz im actually quiet scared incase i get hurt again! i was with someone for 4 years and the last year was hell we used to argue all the time then he kicked me out... after that i got close to this guy and then i ended up sleeping with him, i thought i loved the guy we got on so well and he used to give me butterfly's n he made me feel special but after i slept with him he told me things couldn't carry on coz hes so busy with his band and with work... it tore me apart since then i haven't really been with the one,Ive had dates then pulled out b4 i got to close!
about 4 months ago i met a guy but i was going to Canada so nothing came of it he used to ring me everyday thou i got back to the uk and it seems like hes changed his number that kinnda hurt coz he was on about coming bk out with me!
Relationships hurt but i spose you gotta take the chance if you like someone!

and Jimbo sum guys are just as bad as sum girls but there are good ppl out there its just a matter of finding them... im thinking maybe canada will have summit for me haha :)

[**Sapphire**]

Yeah I have been used alot in my life as well. I used to be a whole lot more generous person when I was younger. I got used by many friends & you know what even my immediate family. After I moved away from the family & dropped the friends I changed myself up a bit. I'm still generous, but not anywhere near like I was. I've learned that I can't be like that with everyone because not everyone will take my generosity in a good way, there will be some that will use it to their advantage.