mashmac
02-26-2007, 10:20 PM
Some of you might remember me from when I first got here. Regardless, I want to talk about the human ability to heal.
Although my mind kept on telling me I would heal, my heart was so badly injured, my pain so devastating, constant turmoil, it was horrid.
And now, I feel as if at last I am over it. I've stopped hurting. As if I was at a new beginning. The future looks brighter. Almost unbelievable
It's such a sweet feeling,a feeling of lightness. I think it will last. I've felt it for some time but I was so used to hurt that it took me a while to believe it: I had to stop - look at myself in the mirror and ask myself: "Are you hurting? No, I am not". I was so used to it, so used to living with it, it had a sense of permanency.
This is a new experience for me as I never really had such a devastating experience. Don't think I could survive two of those!
I am convinced, that this virtual space here with you guys has helped me with it. So have people in my real world too.
I will still proceed with great caution, I am not taking any chances.
But it's like this huge weight on my shoulders has fallen.
Although my mind kept on telling me I would heal, my heart was so badly injured, my pain so devastating, constant turmoil, it was horrid.
And now, I feel as if at last I am over it. I've stopped hurting. As if I was at a new beginning. The future looks brighter. Almost unbelievable
It's such a sweet feeling,a feeling of lightness. I think it will last. I've felt it for some time but I was so used to hurt that it took me a while to believe it: I had to stop - look at myself in the mirror and ask myself: "Are you hurting? No, I am not". I was so used to it, so used to living with it, it had a sense of permanency.
This is a new experience for me as I never really had such a devastating experience. Don't think I could survive two of those!
I am convinced, that this virtual space here with you guys has helped me with it. So have people in my real world too.
I will still proceed with great caution, I am not taking any chances.
But it's like this huge weight on my shoulders has fallen.