Need Advice!

[mark523]

I have been with my fiancée for 12 years (living together for 11 years) and have a 7-year-old daughter. On December 27th I caught her cheating with a married man. I also found out that she was addicted to prescription drugs and had stole money from me and pawned all the jewelry that I had brought her in the last 12 years (I know, why didn’t I catch it sooner? Easy, I trusted her). This has never happen before to my knowledge and when I confronted her she said that I had not shown her attention. We talked some more and agreed to try to work things out. Well I decided I needed to know if she was still seeing the married guy so I put a GPS tracking unit on her car on the 30th. I then found out she was seeing someone else. This time a single man. To make a long story short when I confronted her two weeks later she said that she was in love with him, he completed her, and she never really loved me. Well its been a little over a month and she is moving out in March but now she says that her and our daughter will be happier with him and told me that they have already talked about getting married in June. Is this insane or is it just me? By the way I believe she has stopped taking the pills. Please any advice is better then none at all.

[Penguin_Woman]

:bump: Bumping this back up...interesting post...whether he returns to read it or not

[aussiecoffee007]

okay, one of my dominating questions is, why are you not married after 12 years together? it seems like perhaps you two had some issues previously to keep you two from the altar. plus, perhaps she felt like you werent involved/interested in her since you just stayed engaged for so long. at least for me... i would have definitely began to doubt my man and our relationship. i dont condone cheating though dont get me wrong. the tracking device seems a little extreme... you could have probably just confronted her if she was serious about this guy, do you know why she didnt tell you earlier? didnt break it off earlier? she obviously has some issues and your relationship certainly does, but... i think the split is definitely for the best.

[summit]

Aussie, just to let you know from my point of view since he may not get back to answer you, because I had these same questions directed at my wife and I about our long engagement, well to some people being engaged is not just about a symbol to show we're getting married, its also a time to enjoy all on its own, your only engaged once (hopefully), so enjoy it while it lasts, its not a race from getting engaged to being married, I was engaged for some time, and we really enjoyed it, it was a whole different feeling than being married, some people wish to leave it like this forever, I guess some people don't want to mess with something that isnt broken, and marriage to some people mean different things to others, so I would not necessarily put being engaged for so long as a problem in their relationship, its more common than what you may believe, then again it may be a problem :)


as for the girl, leave her be in my opinion, if she tells you she wants to work on it, while continuing to go about her business cheating, shows how much she really wanted to work on it, she should show more respect to the father of her child and lover for 12 years than that, even if she did not love you, leave this women in the dust, shes not worth your time.

[aussiecoffee007]

no, i get what you mean summit, im just saying from the girls perspective, and from what it sounds like... it might be one of those "a very long engagement" type of things.