He still talks with his ex-fiance

[PrincessPie]

Help! What's your take on this.....:confused:
Thank you!

[Tuxgal]

Hello and welcome o the ATLF. Just so you know...you only need to post your question in one forum...the way this is set up...everyone will see it no matter the forum. We will read your question carefully and someone will respond soon. But, I wanted to welcome you and acknowledge your thread :)

[PrincessPie]

Oops! Thank you, will know for next time. Also, thank you for the "welcome" to this board. :)

[Tuxie]

First of all, welcome to ATLF PrincessPie (I like that name... it makes me smile). :)

Hmmm.... not a good situation, for sure. So, I'm assuming your bf knows EXACTLY how you feel about this. In other words... you've sat him down to have a 'heart to heart', spilled your guts,.... etc, etc. If you haven't told him everything, you need to. He needs to know how this situation makes you feel. Basically, tell him what you've told us here. Then, depending on how he reacts, you will be able to judge exactly how he REALLY feels about you. Then you can figure out what you need to do from there. And no, I don't think regular phone calls from an ex is 'normal' or 'acceptable'. I agree with you on the "find a new friend that understands you, and say thank you for the tuition money" thing.

Keep us updated, and we'll be around if you need us. :)

[PrincessPie]

Her phone call yesterday to his home

[Tuxgal]

I hate to say it...but I honestly think he may not be the right man for you. It seems like you'd always play second fiddle to his ex. He seems to still have feelings for her and she for him. His calling your outburst "violent" seems to be his way of making himself feel better. So he has, in his mind....an excuse to leave. I'm really sorry and I wouldn't say it if I didn't beleive it to be true. I think you may have to move on. We're here for you when you need to talk.

[Tuxie]

Ooof.... not good.

Violent behavior?! I'd go for emotional behavior... but NOT violent behavior. As for the calling him to let someone know where she'd be..... does she not know anyone else?!?!

Sounds to me like he's looking for an excuse. *shrugs*

[aussiecoffee007]

sorry to say as well, but i agree with both of them... it seems like he is overreacting to your getting upset with him because he fears there is something to worried about. perhaps hes trying to convince himself that his behavior is okay but convincing himself that you are overreacting in a "violent" way... when really he is just upset that he is doing something to react to in the first place. im not sure how much sense im making, please ask for clarification if i sound gibberishy :)

[mashmac]

he needs to be able to understand that you are fragile and have been hurt in the past so it's really not that unusual that you were/are worried and started crying. you feel threatend because she is the "young woman" in the story and you've already suffered in that scenario. it must have been very very hard. suerly he knows that. all of us women feel somehow the same as we get older.

does he understand that? you are not overreacting at all. he should take you into his arms and give you a big cuddle.

she might not even want him back but can't accept the fact that he is happy with someone else. if you do love him, don't give up. unfortunately nobody is perfect. and if he loves you - he will love you with your emotional outbursts.
if he wants to break up because of that - it's madness. that means he doesn't care about you enough. i hope it doesn't happen. sounds as if you've endured enough pain already.