Still very confused.

[Sethsid22]

:confused: I posted a thread here a couple months ago about my bf ending up in jail. Well he is still in jail, cause the court system is very slow. i am still comfused about what to do about him. We have been writting letter's back and forth. and the one time i asked if we chould live our own lives and if i was not dating anyone when and if he got out then it was meant to be with us. Well that back fired. I ended up sleeping with a guy friend i have know for a while we were going to see if things would work out between us9( me and the guy friend) Well i let it slip that i did and boy did you blow up i thought we agreeded on that but i guess i was wrong. It ****** me off. And this whole time he has been in there i have been depressed, i feel bad about myself cause i have gained some weight.

But when i decied i am goin to break things off then i second guess myself and think well what if i am missing somthing good, what if he gets out and stuff like this. This has been very hard on me cause i dont know what to do. And i have bad credit cause he said for me to get a credit card that he would pay it off and never did so now i have that. A lot of things have gone wrong with him. But we did have some good times to. My mother said it looked like i loved him from her point of view but then i dont know. I know i cant wait a year if that is how long it takes for him to go infront of the judge or whatever he has to do. And he says he has changed and yes i know he chould just be saying that to get me to stay. I dont know i miss him but then other times i want to go out and meet other people. I have joined datting sites when i thought we were living our own lives havnt really met anyone. But i dont know. What do you guys think:confused:

[**Sapphire**]

Honestly hun, I think you should move on with your life. You can be friends with him & still keep in touch if you would like to.

It seems to me that he has brought on alot of bad to you. Sure there were good times, but NOW think about the time it's going to take for him to go to court & if he goes to prison how many months/years it would be before you 2 can be together in person.

Being with someone that is in prison/jail is very hard & extremely expensive, take it from me hun, I did it for 3 1/2 years. It wasn't a pick nick at all & I didn't get much out of it but a huge debt, lonely, sad, angry & very stressed out.

[daisychip]

get honest about this situation Sethsid........this person has put your relationship in jeopardy by having issues with the law and going to jail for an unknown amount of time right now, you have already wanted to go out with others and done so, you're dissappointed in him, maybe even angry, about the credit card bit, also "p****ed off" that he flipped the script on you and you are gaining weight by depression it sounds.

In my eyes this guy has "no right" to ask you to wait and be faithful, let alone get angry at you for wanting to live!! you already have your answer, for some reason you just don't want to hear it. If it's meant to be it will work out that way no matter what you do now. A man that truly respects and cares about you would actually encourage you to not waste your time with him right now (even if they secretly want the oppossite). What your 'missing' is the chance to explore oppurtunities and possibly even being a better person for him......if and when.........that is possible.

You can still be his pen-pal and talk of things that better yourselves and good news from the 'outside' for him but I think you should stop being hard on yourself for having the feelings you have and do what you want.

[Tony]

I agree with Sapphire and Daisy
this guy put himself in prison did he think of you before hand NO
sorry to sound hard but he is a criminal I would not wait a second on this guy
I honestly think you should move on.
also my advice is go with your heart make a better life for yourself.
if he really loved you he would not be behind bars expecting you to wait... and wait for what once he does gets out.. do another crime and you have to wait even longer.

[~Teej~]

Move on with your life.
You can and will do so much better.
Don't wait around for someone like this.
Please.
He used and lied to you about money, and now you have bad credit.
This is not someone that you want to be with.
It is a big sign to get as far away as possible from him.

[**Sapphire**]

I wanted to add a bit more to this as well Sethsid hun.

It's very hard for people that have been in jail/prison to adjust to the outside, even if is a short stay. It's even more hard for them to get a job when they come out, the system sometimes is geared for ex-inmates to fail when they come out, so they can go right back.

So, if you waited for him, things could be even more stressful afterwards than when he was in.

If you ever need to talk, PM me, I know what your going through.

We aren't saying these things to discourage you or to even put him down. We are talking reality, whether some of us like myself have gone through it with a loved one, family member. Or just from reading the hurt in your post. We know your hurting & going through a rough time & we don't to see you hurting. :)

[Tony]

Quote Sapphire} We know your hurting & going through a rough time & we don't to see you hurting.

Yes that is what we are all about to help you with the right advice.
you could move on as suggested in this thread or you may be up for more heart ache in the future.
non of us want to upset you further or hurt you in anyway, we care and we all want the best for you.

talking about all of this is the best thing you can do.. we are all here for you Sethsid

[Sethsid22]

Well i did it! I finally cut all ties to the dumb a$$. He wrote a really mean letter to me so thats it im free and single. I am happy too. I dont even reget it at all. Thanks for everyones help:thumb::whoo:

[daisychip]

And what if he writes another letter begging and promising concessions to the the situation? Guess you'll cross that bridge if it forms but I must say I AM happy to hear that you are moving on, giving yourself an oppurtunity to live better!!

[Sethsid22]

if he writes back begging iam going to tell him to go to hell cause he is an a$$ and i am still pi$$ed at him we are not getting back together.Never

[aussiecoffee007]

good sethsid im sorry for your loss but i have to say im very happy for you... i think this will be great for your life in the short and logn run. :)

[**Sapphire**]

I agree with the others here sethsid hun, I am happy that you did let him go. Things will be so much easier now for you.

You know what, if he does write back, don't even bother to respond to anything. It's best if you don't because if you do write him back, it will only continue with another response from him. It won't ever end. You made your decision, told him to get lost & now stick by it by no more contact at all.

[~Teej~]

Wow, I am glad to say that this has really made my day...well done you. :)