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ukph
07-13-2008, 02:32 PM
Hi Guys,
Need some advice on whether to take the plunge, bit of a long one I'm afraid sorry but really need advice.

OK the situation is that me and this girl have known each other for about 3 years. She was my boss at work, after a year she got a promotion and suggested I go for a promotion with her to a new site. We moved to the new area and lived together for another year and got really close but nothing happened as she was kinda off and on with this moron.
She moved to another town (for another promotion) and moved back in with this guy even though he had messed her around a few times. She then got pregnant and he has now messed her arround again and they have split up for good now.

We dont see each other as much because of where we live but we talk every day, sometimes for hours at a time.
I've liked her for a while but haven't said anything to her. The last couple of weeks she have come over a couple of times and we seem to be closer than usual.

When we are sitting on the sofa with some of our mates she kinda cuddles up and holds and strokes my hands and arms. The other day her and her Ex had a big fight, as they are still having to live together until the house lease runs out, and she came and stayed for a couple of nights. I offered to sleep on the sofa but she said just to share the bed. When I got into bed she cuddled up and was stroking my arms again. Again nothing else happened just kinda held her all night.

She says she misses me when we talk and we text a lot aswell. After she was down for the day we were texting and I said she should move back my way. Her answer was that 'Its not that easy, I love being near to you, yesterday was cool I had a really chilled out day'. I asked her wot she meant and she kinda shrugged it off and said it was interesting coz she didnt think I paid that much attention. When I asked why it was interesting she said 'I do miss you, you know that I wish we could see each other more and the time we spend together is lush'.

Am I reading more than I should into this? The situation is really complicated as I can't lose her as a friend but I dont want to miss the chance of something else and then the added complication of her Ex and being pregnant doesn't make the timing very good.

What do you all think?
Any advice appreciated.

PH

**Sapphire**
07-13-2008, 03:43 PM
Welcome to ATLF PH! Glad that you found us & decided to post your need for help with your caring community. :wave:

I think it might be best to continue on being her friend for right now. As you typed to us here, she does have alot on her plate right now. Alot of things she needs to sort out & work on. Let her get all of that straightened out & then see if she will move back your way & see what may happen.

I know you want more from her as you have feelings for her, but right now you have to let her make the decisions on what she is going to be doing, what she needs. So try hard to continue to be her friend & also try to be happy that you do have her friendship. :)

aussiecoffee007
07-13-2008, 03:57 PM
well i think she definitely has feelings for you, but maybe between the ex and work and everything, she isnt quite ready to enter into a full-on relationship yet. i would give it a little time, but if she continues to give you such strong signals--like sleepign with you--i would just go for it and hope for the best!

ukph
07-13-2008, 04:25 PM
Thanks for the advice. They split up about a month ago but obviously not stopped having to see each other as they live together.

She has now told him he has 2 weeks to move out but she wont be able to move back towards my way until atleast 4-5 months by which time the baby will have arrived.

Im not expecting anything right away but Im not sure whether to talk to her now about how I feel and if she feels the same then just to let her sort everything out or to wait before even mentioning it. I would be happy for now just know that she is interested but wants time to sort out her head.

**Sapphire**
07-13-2008, 07:34 PM
I would wait to let her get things sorted out with her life first PH. She has some heavy things she has to deal with at the moment & I think if you told her of your feelings, she could very well think you adding to her load, or possibly pushing her.

~Teej~
07-13-2008, 11:45 PM
Wait until she has things sorted out...She has the EX out of her house and she has come to terms with being a mum.

You like this girl but you also must realize that she is soon to be a mum and if anything was to happen between you two then you would also be a big part of this childs life. Are you ready for that kind of commitment??? Especially when the child won't be your own.

Hopefully the answer is YES...:)...I think you should give her time to settle back down again though before you tell her how you feel.

ukph
07-14-2008, 07:04 PM
Well i plan on being part of the childs' life whether we are together or not as we are such good friends.

I think she is doing OK coming to terms with everything but I dont want to pressure her or leave it too long. Possibly one of the most difficult situations ever I think.