Revenge

[mashmac]

:confused: :confused: :confused:
What can you tell me about revenge? When you get dumped you still usually love the dumper who doesn't love you but as the dumpee you also hate him/her
for the pain he/she has caused you.

Has any of you felt better if they used revenge as a tool? The person who dump you doesn't care about you anymore - mostly the just want you to go under. So
isn't using revenge actually useless? You can't hurt them anymore. They don't care. So what is the point? Hope you can enlighten me a little

[Tuxgal]

Yeah, revenge is never good. It doesn't solve anything. Not to say I haven't been guilty of lashing out in anger or revenge. I have but I regretted it immediately and wanted to take it back. But you can't unring a bell. I would not do it anymore. There's no point.

[EC]

Revenge usually brings you regrets, if not financially, jail time, lost of reputation, being hated by the people revengee (A new word, just like your 'dumpee') knows, depends what you're going to do.

If this is in anyway relevant to your post about the married man, I'd suggest you to not go ahead with such vengeance. Remember that today is the result and consequence of your past decisions and actions.

The sayings of sort, You Can't Hurt Someone That Doesn't Know, is not true.

[mashmac]

thanks to all - kind of knew myself but wanted confirmation. no point.
waste of energy.

[aussiecoffee007]

oh i would steer clear of revenge at all costs. dont fight fire with fire. things just get more complicated and more hurtful than they already are, and plus, what is revenge going to solve? your feelings and your pain? no, you will be satisfied for about three seconds, and then afterward, all you will feel is deep, hollow pain that a. you hurt him and b. nothing has even changed and c. now reconciliation (in the form of friendship or not) has become an almost impossible goal. you know what i mean?

[darkdreams]

I dont like revenge myself. I mean when a relationship goes sour or turns nasty, the best thing is to leave clean and to walk away from it to avoid any humiliations. No point in going around making the person suffer or to seek revenge coz it shows nothing but a failure to let go of things. It shows that somewhere you still care even if it is only to make that person suffer. This reminds me of a funny post I read about revenge-here it is--- hope you like it. I laughed a lot when I read it! :D

[mashmac]

thanks - there are some funny stories over there!
And I've given up on revenge. Not interested anymore.
in anything that has to do with him. And - on the long run he lost much more than me. He gave up on loving his son and that is certainly the most stupid thing anyone could do. If he has any conscience, he will realize this one day and he will hurt but it will be too late. So really I don't even have to do anything.

:)

[EC]

I am glad you've given up on the idea, if I am correct in anyway, that feeling will come back, I meant the vengeful, vindictive type of feelings. Stand your ground, don't let it take over.

One thing to remember, please, never do this again. It hurts so many people, including the ones that don't know, we're all affected.

[mashmac]

Thank EC. No the feeling of revenge will not come back because I could end up hurting what I love the most.

And it is an awful story but when I look at my son - I really can't imagine not having him in my life.He wasn't a mistake. We wanted him.
Or that's what I thought. I think he did too but he changed his mind.
I think we were in a pink bubble.

I know I should never have gotten involved but it's too late to change it. I have to live with my sins and there isn't a moment where I don't feel guilty.

Ultimately - what I feel/want/need is secondary. There is no way on earth I would allow anyone to get close to me again. I am determined never to allow it.

[mashmac]

I know nobody has a high opinion of cheaters! Neither do I even If I did it!

[EC]

Mashmac, you can't force to love, as well as you can't force not to love. Don't do that to yourself, I really think you would already know that by now.

[mashmac]

I've loved enough. Honestly - there is no way I could trust a man again. Nor do I want to. It's fine like this. Has been for almost two years now.

[mashmac]

I think we can close this post now. Currently nobody from the usual suspects
in here apart from me. I have the whole place to myself...

[EC]

I think we should leave that to the admins to decide, some threads get replies months after initial post.

[mashmac]

OK EC.... No worries.

[EC]

Ha Ha Ha Ha :D What's with the dotted line Mashmac? Here, I'll give you a hug :angel: My bad, didn't mean to upset you :)

[mashmac]

Well you just seemed to have gotten a bit upset :rolleyes: anyway - this thread
is about revenge so common people tell us more!

[Tuxie]

I think we can close this post now. Currently nobody from the usual suspects
in here apart from me. I have the whole place to myself...
EC is correct... it's not up to members to decide if a thread should be closed or not. Members can request that a particular thread be locked, but it's ultimately up to the Administrators. Just because you don't deem a thread important or valid anymore, doesn't mean it's not important or valid to anyone else. Basically, as a rule, I won't hardly ever close a thread. Like EC said, some of these threads have gotten posts long after they stopped being active.

As for the 'I have the whole place to myself' comment... just a little info for you Mashy, a forum works this way. It's not full and active 24/7. People have different schedules, we can't live on the forums... or at least most of us can't. I think back to when Tuxgal and I first came here. Very rarely did we see anyone on... but that's in the process of changing. Still, forums (especially as they're starting out) aren't always hoppin'.

Now..... back to the topic at hand.

[mashmac]

My "I am here by myself was supposed to be funny". But I guess it's hard to tell
sometimes on posts if it's a joke or not.Or perhaps I am just not funny.
No offense meant. :D

Now - back to revenge

[EC]

We've been on the lighter side for a while. Now, let's hear stories about revenges we might have heard from here and there or what you think is a good revenge for the unforgivable.

But I don't want to hear about violence.

[Penguin_Woman]

Revenge usually brings you regrets, if not financially, jail time, lost of reputation, being hated by the people revengee (A new word, just like your 'dumpee') knows, depends what you're going to do.

If this is in anyway relevant to your post about the married man, I'd suggest you to not go ahead with such vengeance. Remember that today is the result and consequence of your past decisions and actions.

The sayings of sort, You Can't Hurt Someone That Doesn't Know, is not true. I don't know if this new post/thread of yours is reffering to relationships or not. But you said yourself that revenge is never good and I agree. The only one you'll hurt in the end...is yourself.

[EC]

Sure revenge in relationship or after a break-up is not good, but this is to an extent, there's a degree of provocation and depending on situations.

Though revenge does give a small and (possibly) short period of feeling 'victory' or satisfaction, don't you think sometimes people deserve to get a revenge?

I mean, get real! When you're hurt, when someone caused you tremendous pain and deception that you almost fall to floor, have a seizure, breakdown, and can't breathe, can't eat. It's only natural for human to want to revenge.

I think it depends on how severe the acts and provocations are. Though one of the best revenge is to get on with life and ignore the person all together, some of these people don't deserve to get away with what they did.

Let's also talk about what would cause such vengeful feelings, both from what you can think of and what you've heard before.

[Penguin_Woman]

I understand your hurting n' all, but I'm sorry I truly don't think revenge is the way to go. Yes, it is natural to have that thought cross your mind, of course. But thinking about it is one thing. Acting on it is another. Like you said...the best revenge can sometimes be just to get on with your life. Ok, answer me this. say you did get some kind of revenge. Show'd them how you feel, hurt them made them feel bad. how are you, honestly gonna feel knowing what you just inflicted on another human being?

Is acting out in the 'heat of the moment" going to truly make you feel better? Are you going to be able to move on once you hurt them like they hurt you? I don't know if you are religious. But even if you aren't maybe you beleive in Karma. The universe (Or God or who/whatever) has a way of bringing balance. I truly beleive what goes around comes around without your interference.

Especially if you care or once cared about this person, you don't want to get revenge on this person. At first you may feel like "Ha! I showed you!!" But later you'll only feel sad and sick at heart.

[EC]

No I am not talking about me taking revenges.. I am talking about it in general.

[Penguin_Woman]

Ok, well...in general nobody should take revenge. :) As I've said...it doesn't help. No matter how much someone has hurt you(universal you. not you personally), it's not worth it.

[mashmac]

There was a time when I seriously considered it, I guess that is why I started the thread. But the thing was - I just didn't know how to really do it or what to really do. I was so hurt. Somehow felt humiliated. And as I couldn't come up with anything - I put it on the back burner thinking I would come up with something eventually. And as I wasn't obsessing about it anymore, slowly I realized I would only humiliate myself further and that really what I wanted was to move on. It was a very long process. And now that I am feeling better, I am so glad I didn't do it. I think it would have made it worst for me to get over it, it would have drained more of my energy. And in a naive way I guess the universe will take care of it and that the person that hurt me so badly will have to account for it. What goes around, comes around - isn't it what they say?

But I can so comprehend why one would want to do it. I just don't want to be back there ever again. Back in that agony. I fought so hard to get out of it.
And I am still very fragile so I'll keep on fighting for as long as it takes me the
chase away all those demons of pain. And revenge is will not help me to achieve that.

[Penguin_Woman]

Couldn't have said it better myself. :) I'm glad you are doing better mashmac. :)

[mashmac]

Thanks Tuxette. I don't want people to think it's easy to move on. It's everything but. And I don't want to appear like mrs know it all. I was there for so long - over a year. And I still feel the occasional stab. I just want to put it all behind me. That's the only way I am able to find peace again.