How do I move on?

[soconfused]

Is it normal to be really unhappy several times in a relationship? Me and my boyfriend are preparing to celebrate our three year anniversary in a few weeks. I love him dearly, but sometimes I wonder if I love him enough to be with him forever. My main complaint with him is that he sleeps to much, he isn't as romantic as he used to be, and he's gaining too much weight. I know he sleeps a lot because he works a lot and he isn't that romantic because he claims he doesn't have time. We are both recent college graduates and we moved to a new city together about a year ago. Anytime I threaten to leave him he says I tricked him into moving here and lays a guilt trip on me about it. I've tried talking to him about the way I feel, and he'll change for a while but then revert back. I feel I'd be happier without him for a while, but its like I'm trapped because we live together and because when I do try to leave he romances his way back in or will lay a guilt trip. :confused: Any helpful advice is appreciated.

[Tuxie]

Is it normal to be really unhappy several times in a relationship? Me and my boyfriend are preparing to celebrate our three year anniversary in a few weeks. I love him dearly, but sometimes I wonder if I love him enough to be with him forever. My main complaint with him is that he sleeps to much, he isn't as romantic as he used to be, and he's gaining too much weight. I know he sleeps a lot because he works a lot and he isn't that romantic because he claims he doesn't have time. We are both recent college graduates and we moved to a new city together about a year ago. Anytime I threaten to leave him he says I tricked him into moving here and lays a guilt trip on me about it. I've tried talking to him about the way I feel, and he'll change for a while but then revert back. I feel I'd be happier without him for a while, but its like I'm trapped because we live together and because when I do try to leave he romances his way back in or will lay a guilt trip. :confused: Any helpful advice is appreciated.
First of all, welcome to ATLF soconfused. We hope you'll find this place helpful and friendly. :)

No, it's not either normal or healthy to be in a relationship where you're unhappy. This part he's feeding you about not having enough time to be 'romantic' is just plain bunk. You MAKE time to do things you WANT to do. IMHO, S.O.'s should not be 'laying guilt trips' on each other. There are a lot of issues here, I wish I had some magic answer or help for you. As I see it, you have two choices... either fix it (the relationship), which will require some change... or part ways. It doesn't sound to me like he's willing to make long-term changes. You both need to make the time to sit down and talk about this. Tell him EXACTLY how you are feeling... and I mean EVERYTHING. Then, watch how he reacts. This will tell you what you need to know.

Keep us updated.... chin up! :)

[cold dark]

Is it normal to be really unhappy several times in a relationship? Me and my boyfriend are preparing to celebrate our three year anniversary in a few weeks. I love him dearly, but sometimes I wonder if I love him enough to be with him forever

This appears to be a common enough complaint. Overall, I wouldn't worry about it too much. unless your gut is telling you there's a bigger reason for feeling that way. Only you know your feelings and situation completely, so unfortunately you're the one who's going to have to decide how big of an issue this really is.

My main complaint with him is that he sleeps to much, he isn't as romantic as he used to be, and he's gaining too much weight. I know he sleeps a lot because he works a lot and he isn't that romantic because he claims he doesn't have time. We are both recent college graduates and we moved to a new city together about a year ago.

All of these things seem related. College graduation, a move, a new job = major stress even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. Does he like his job? Do you like your job? Often the daily routine can take it out of a person, and by extension, a relationship. I would echo any sentiment that expresses making a conscious effort to make your lives and the relationship new, exciting, and interesting. It's entirely possible to do, but you have to work at it a bit.

Anytime I threaten to leave him he says I tricked him into moving here and lays a guilt trip on me about it. I've tried talking to him about the way I feel, and he'll change for a while but then revert back. I feel I'd be happier without him for a while, but its like I'm trapped because we live together and because when I do try to leave he romances his way back in or will lay a guilt trip. :confused: Any helpful advice is appreciated.

First off, I'm worried about you threatening to leave. Don't do this unless you're almost 100% sure you are going to leave. If you're simply using it to modify his behaviour, tricks like that are dishonest and won't work forever.

Have you considered actual counselling? It may seem odd for a young, unmarried couple to go this route, but the potential benefits are many.

[soconfused]

Cold dark, I really like your advice. I guess we're still adjusting to all the changes in our life. We're working on it and we definitely have hope:)