Depression

[louisemc]

For the first time in my life I suffered from depression last year. A friend had committed suicide, I was being harassed by a horrible boss, my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with a friend and then my sister was diagnosed with a major illness. I went on anti-depressants and after several months I came out of the depression and was fine again for a few months. Just recently I felt really depressed again. I had been let down by a few friends, dated a guy who I found out lied to me and is actually living with a woman and not single. What is the best way to deal with depression? I just feel like my life is a mess. I am meant to go away on holidays this Sunday for a week but I just feel like staying in bed and crying.

[louisemc]

What is the best remedy for depression? I just feel like I don't trust people any more. I prefer to stay alone.

[aussiecoffee007]

well there are self-help remedies--trying to get yourself in a different mindset, trying to find the beauty in things again. what made you happy before this? perhaps you should also steer clear of the things that are making you depressed--this guy in a relationship, for instance, or just trying to surround yourself with new people. go different places than you normally do, try to get to know more people than you usually know...
and honestly, if these things dont work anymore, i would try to talk to a therapist/go on anti-depressants again... its common to relapse back, but just try to get out of this hole you are in at the moment.

[louisemc]

I have always been too nice and a softie for people. Then I only get taken advantage of. I need to be maybe more selective who I am friends with and avoid people that cause me problems.

[aussiecoffee007]

yes i would definitely suggest this... avoid the people/things who cause you stress or to be depressed... maybe just be choosier with the characteristics that you are looking for in people

[louisemc]

I live in Switzerland for the past 14 years. I am 34 years old, single, no children. Everything here centres around money, superficial things and using and abusing people. Most of my female friends are either single or divorced. Hardly any one I know is happily married. I am quite religious and have values so I feel lost in this society. Do you think I should perhaps emigrate to another country and start a new life? I would really like to meet a decent man and have a family.

I am not obsessed with making money and screwing people over, so I really think I would be better off in a country where I earn less money but people are more honest and wholesome. What do you think? A quarter of the population in Geneva are illegal emigrants looking to marry anyone for papers, another quarter are rich Swiss bankers who have mistresses and cheat on their wives, the other quarter are vulgar emigrants with no education from Portugal or Italy and the Swiss don't mix so much with foreigners as they are quite reserved. Do you think I should really consider moving to another place?

[aussiecoffee007]

well, i think that people are kinda the same everywhere--there is always a good mix of good people and bad people. i could same the same for the US, but there are always these people that surprise you and are really awesome and deep and cool. maybe you just have to get exposed a bit more... however if you are willing to move or something and you think it would be best, perhaps starting over would be best for you, but keep in mind it would be kinda hard to meet any entirely new group of people...

[louisemc]

Do you think that 34 is too old to start a life in a new country? Do you think my time has run out to get married and have children and I just have to accept that?

[~Teej~]

You are never too old to make yourself happy louise
34 is not old at all.
maybe moving is something that you should try...If you have nothing to keep you where you are, you will never know until you try.

[Tony]

depression is never easy to deal with :(

If you think that a move from your country will help you to be happy by all means move :)

put yourself first and try not to think of what other people do or think.

as you are going through more tough times it just might pay you to go back onto your medication to help you..
please see your local doctor first. :thumb:

your true friends will understand and they will always be there for you. :)

getting away for a weeks holiday could also be a good thing.. just try to stay positive. :)

we are here for you at anytime

[Beautiful Mystique]

Depression is not easy to deal with but if you put your mind into it, you can overcome it. Please trust me on that one! I was in depression when my previous xBF broke up with me - I really thought it was the end of the world but I pulled through with the help of my family (especially my late mother) and a few really good friends of mine.

The last I fell into depression was when I lost my late mother last Dec. It was much more painful and TBH with you, I felt like it was the end of the world. What got me through was praying to God and also, thinking of how my late mother would feel to see me that way - I don't think she'd be happy seeing me depressed. The thought of her being unhappy because of the way I was living myself woke me up.

It is never too late to start a life - wherever it pleases you and no matter at what age - never never too late! Do it for you. Make yourself happy first and most importantly, love yourself before you start sharing your love with someone else!

[**Sapphire**]

Once again Louise hun, I agree with all the different parts that you have been given before me. :)

It's never too late to start over, whether it's where you live or you decide to move to another country or part of the current country you live in. If you have the means to do, why not?

It's never too late to find someone that will love you & to be married either. There is no set age on true love or when to be married either.

I do agree with Tony on the point that you should talk to your doctor first about your depression & maybe he can prescribe to you meds or maybe direct you to a pshychiatrist to help you along just a bit more too.

Hey, you have something fun & positive to think about, your going on holiday soon hun. Have a good time & try to relax & enjoy your surroundings & who you may be going on holiday with as well. :)

[aussiecoffee007]

sorry im a bit late, but i dont think 34 is too old to get married at all! or have kids, i know women in their mid-40s who have had kids. and its never too late for that... maybe its evven better this way since you know exactly what you are looking for and are mature enough to stay grounded and you know what you want.

[lisa843]

What is the best remedy for depression? I just feel like I don't trust people any more. I prefer to stay alone.

..................................................
First let me say I am sorry you are feeling depressed...but believe me...you are not alone....
I'm a survivor of depression and like you, often feel like I'd rather just stay alone...or hide away in my own world. BUT that is the last thing you need to do. You must fight the urge to want to withdraw from everyone...

An approach I think is best for depression is a combination of several things...
Meds...if you've taken them before with some success..maybe you needed a new or higher dose?? Also, I think anytime anyone is taking meds..they need to also talk/get counseling with someone. It can be a clergy, professional...just someone that can be trusted and be a good listener..someone that will not judge you.

Another thing is to get "out" from yourself....Try journaling/writing,
do charity work, volunteer, do something creative ..something to keep you active ....and it also helps to do something to help others.

There is such a stigma placed on depression. But you have to fight it from all angles. If you don't fight it with all you have....if you let it...it will eat you up like a black hole....

I want to encourage you. I hope you know you have people that care about you. You have people here that are caring and good...and will try to listen and help where they can.

good luck. please keep us all informed.

also try this extra info when u get a chance:

[links removed but sent in PM]

Edited by Tony [ text added in this post was governed by copyright]

[lisa843]

more inspiration....

[link sent in PM]