View Full Version : Advice needed desperately...I'm at a loss...
Hi All sis and bros out there.....would appreciate some real experience mature advice on my problem.......
I'm a newbie in this forum as well as in a relationship....
After staying single for almost 10yrs....(im 25) i finalli met a girl which moves me......
She is a new colleague of mine which just joined my company. It all started out with some care over her as her job was a tough one...plus she normalli onli talk to me alone......
soon we became quite close..and I have been sending her gift...shower her with concern and care.....sometimes we share secrets and have some solo dates......but we r in the state of colleague, close friend and admirer???
The problem now is that she is attached..although I know her relationship is unstable.....and she has another admirer forcing her so much that she always complains.......
actualli its pretty obvious in my company that we 2 r an item..n we r often being tease by all....however we never realli sound off directly to each other.....
sometimes I feel that she is very close n shld know but sometimes she is a distance to me....during weekends I felt worse when i don met her.......
I actualli wanted to tell her how i feel for her...but then due to the part of her being attached and she is a close working colleague...i cant....and i wanted just a confirmation frm her that she knows im chasing her and my affection to her.....however...its real ignorance of me...cos i know she will not give me an answer and i will onli be giving her more pressure and stress....
the present us are so click...we chat...we disturb...we share.....we encourage to each other etc....i don realli wan to jeopardise all these.......but im in a misery now....
wat shld i do???? or wat can i do???? wait???
Tuxgal
01-03-2007, 12:20 PM
Hello and welcome. I'm Tuxgal one of the Co-Admin on here. It seems you have several problems at once. You have a girl who is your friend that you want a realationship with. She is also your colleague and she is also attached. What quite a pickle. I'd say first and foremost stay at a distance while she is in a relationship. You say it is unstable so it may not be a problem or long. You can be her friend and let her know your there for her but that's all for now. She needs to end the other relationship first before being with you. Then there is the problem of them working with you. If you guys do start a relationship, do you know company policy about employees dating? Regardless, it won't be easy but it seems like you really care about this girl so I'm sure you'll try. As for telling her how you feel...I know you just want to know if she even feels the same, but she's probably not able to say at this point. Again I'd wait until she is unattached. Good luck. :)
Either for a guy or a girl, getting involved with someone that's attached is not a good idea. If she has many admirers then its the choices of those men to admire her. If she starts playing along, what makes you think she won't do it to you in the future when your relation with her may become unstable?
Which in my opinion, any relationship will become unstable at some point. Has she tried to work out her relationship? Jealous men can be very dangerous to your health and well-being.
Another issue you have there is that she's your colleague, what's the company's policy? Also, couples working together and seeing each other all the time is not healthy for relationship, if you move in with her, and seeing each other days and nights, it might take toll on the relationship.
Hello and welcome. I'm Tuxgal one of the Co-Admin on here. It seems you have several problems at once. You have a girl who is your friend that you want a realationship with. She is also your colleague and she is also attached. What quite a pickle. I'd say first and foremost stay at a distance while she is in a relationship. You say it is unstable so it may not be a problem or long. You can be her friend and let her know your there for her but that's all for now. She needs to end the other relationship first before being with you. Then there is the problem of them working with you. If you guys do start a relationship, do you know company policy about employees dating? Regardless, it won't be easy but it seems like you really care about this girl so I'm sure you'll try. As for telling her how you feel...I know you just want to know if she even feels the same, but she's probably not able to say at this point. Again I'd wait until she is unattached. Good luck. :)
Hi Tuxgal,
Thanks for your response...this is wat i m thinking as well, spot on. i wanted to know if she feels the same...cos on my part i have already done my part. i wanted a confirmation but i know at this point she cant give me any. This became a selfish part of me....i believe most guys will want to...
I don wish to be the 3rd party of her relationship and i believe she needs to make a choice on her part....she knows how i care for her and i don wan to pressurise her.....
I realli care alot for her...its now in the state of 1 person happy equivalent to 2 person happy, that goes for sadness......
I wanted her to be happy.....but during weekends when i don get to see her, i will miss her badly.....although she does mention i can call her or sms her, it just make me miss her more. As she is attached, there are lots of things i wanted to do for her but i cant..........
As for company policy, there isnt much guideline or restriction in my country or in my course of work. We are young and i believe both our bosses knows something going on between me n her as we both display a photo we have taken together during a seminar on our desk and we r just facing one and other.
Oh yah, her birthday is coming and we 2 are going out for dinner tonight......and she is dressed for this date......and i think i shld put the confession aside so as to enjoy this dating for the 2 of us!!! at least it wouldn feel awkard and pressure on this date......
I will update tomorrow........
Either for a guy or a girl, getting involved with someone that's attached is not a good idea. If she has many admirers then its the choices of those men to admire her. If she starts playing along, what makes you think she won't do it to you in the future when your relation with her may become unstable?
Which in my opinion, any relationship will become unstable at some point. Has she tried to work out her relationship? Jealous men can be very dangerous to your health and well-being.
Another issue you have there is that she's your colleague, what's the company's policy? Also, couples working together and seeing each other all the time is not healthy for relationship, if you move in with her, and seeing each other days and nights, it might take toll on the relationship.
Hi bro or sis....yes i always hold on to this rule to stay clear of a party that is attached....however this round i think i realli breach this rule of mine....
i nvr in my life believe that relationship cannot be control but now when i face it myself i realli think it cant be control...that goes for my sleepless nite etc.....actualli i have myself contradict on this decision of mine by trying to forget her..but i tried twice but always end up i cant....whenever i see her in a daze mode...i would jus walk to ask her y.....
the problem is i know she is not an easy going person......she has rejected gifts frm some admirers that she don like...and she does tell me her problem....i got to judge for myself but somehow i always believe that in a relationship, trust is a must....
i oso know abt this part of workin togther facing each other is not a healthy sign but its not a problem to me...we wouldn be staying long in this company of ours.....
pika, you're aware that if anything goes further you will be dating a cheater, right?
At the moment you're only seeing the positives between you and her, and you are also being selectively rationale about the situation.
By taking her out and doing all these things more than a friend would, your hands are in their relationship and pulling them apart. Why not try imagine yourself in her man's shoes, would you like your lovebird singing a song with another man? There are plenty more fishes in the sea and you don't have to cripple another soul to make your life whole.
Call me old style if you like, but I am against the sort of stuff you're doing. My advise, just act like a friend, be a friend nothing more, and if she asks you for advises about her relationship then be constructive about it instead of being negative or taking sides (your side).
If its meant to be, it will be, but if not, like I said, change your fishing spot.
pika, you're aware that if anything goes further you will be dating a cheater, right?
At the moment you're only seeing the positives between you and her, and you are also being selectively rationale about the situation.
By taking her out and doing all these things more than a friend would, your hands are in their relationship and pulling them apart. Why not try imagine yourself in her man's shoes, would you like your lovebird singing a song with another man? There are plenty more fishes in the sea and you don't have to cripple another soul to make your life whole.
Call me old style if you like, but I am against the sort of stuff you're doing. My advise, just act like a friend, be a friend nothing more, and if she asks you for advises about her relationship then be constructive about it instead of being negative or taking sides (your side).
If its meant to be, it will be, but if not, like I said, change your fishing spot.
thanks emotionalcreature..i know wat u mean....but smtimes things are just beyond my control....easier said then done...just stay as a friend...im trying v hard as well......
im not doing anything to their relationship...im just giving her more care.....however i always believe if there is any reason that happen to a broken relationship, its realli a problem between them.....n not me..if its so easy to break a couple up...then there is no trust n love inbetween them...
yes, my advise to her are constructives...i advise her on a clear stand...i told her to work it out w her bf.....i nvr ask her to leave him or say nasty things......
i think i just go the natural way......there is this part i don understand most ppl say.....well its her birthday n im askin her out for a dinner...
y must i onli love her when she is single n not when she is attached??? i tot loving someone does not come with a time table..if i were able to switch loving her not loving her..then my feelings are not genuine.....
i don wish to regret after a few yrs down the road......thinking why i nvr done my part.....
sorry if i have been too stubborn but its hard to explain....haiz
No worries, Looks like you already know what you want to do. Funny you said that, love doesn't come with timetable. I guess I don't have a better come back than that one :confused:
Also funny how we all do expect love to have timetable when we're in relationships.
An old friend of mine was in a relationship with this girl. She's one of those people that think love doesn't need a timetable, always side stepped, looked sideways, unfaithful. The guy just went around bashing and got into fights every single men that his girl cheated with, it became a routine. He finally realized that he was on the wrong train the whole time, I guess he never checked his timetable.
No worries, Looks like you already know what you want to do. Funny you said that, love doesn't come with timetable. I guess I don't have a better come back than that one :confused:
Also funny how we all do expect love to have timetable when we're in relationships.
An old friend of mine was in a relationship with this girl. She's one of those people that think love doesn't need a timetable, always side stepped, looked sideways, unfaithful. The guy just went around bashing and got into fights every single men that his girl cheated with, it became a routine. He finally realized that he was on the wrong train the whole time, I guess he never checked his timetable.
pls don laugh at me bro..haha, i was refering to a time table that teaches you when u shld be in love when u shldnt....
ur last reply realli knock me some senses......i shldn harp on this relationship so badly....whereas i shld keep my cool and think...
over lunch i think i shld know wat to do......like u say..i shld try to draw a line...and wait...cos wat will happen in future no one knows...i may find another suitable girl...or i may still wait for this girl..but meanwhile i shld just let nature takes its course.......
I wouldn stay away or avoid her...i will still care for her....but then i try my best not to over do it...like i said earlier..i don wan to give her any pressure!!!
Thanks bro!:o
I know what you meant about timetable, I am glad I could knock some senses into you. That's what we all are here for, to support one another. Stay around, even when you have your problem solved, your experience will put together the pieces of someone else in the future.
Its good that you understand, also another thing that will come out good of this is that, you can test her right now, even when you two are not in a relationship, or even if you will or won't be in one with her.
You can take a step back, be calm and be aware, watch what she's doing, if you really like her and you think there's a future between you two if she chooses to end the other relationship.
You will be able to see what this girl is really like when she hits rock bottom, so many things you will be able to see and tell, my friend.
I know the cake looks good and you want to eat it all right now, however, this is not the time, not yet anyway.
I know what you meant about timetable, I am glad I could knock some senses into you. That's what we all are here for, to support one another. Stay around, even when you have your problem solved, your experience will put together the pieces of someone else in the future.
Its good that you understand, also another thing that will come out good of this is that, you can test her right now, even when you two are not in a relationship, or even if you will or won't be in one with her.
You can take a step back, be calm and be aware, watch what she's doing, if you really like her and you think there's a future between you two if she chooses to end the other relationship.
You will be able to see what this girl is really like when she hits rock bottom, so many things you will be able to see and tell, my friend.
I know the cake looks good and you want to eat it all right now, however, this is not the time, not yet anyway.
well said bro!!! thanks alot......i know i know, the cake part was something new to me....ok let me observe n see, and yah if it belongs to me, its meant for me...no hurry as well.....:p
so i told her n it didnt realli turn out as bad.....
we r still doing our work as per normal and we agree to let nature take its course..and it was her who encouraged me to tell the whole thing so we can prevent further guessing....
I assured her as well that while she is in a relationship, I wouldn't interfere or give her any pressure..and she as well believe we should still stick to as friend...at the point I told her...we both knows there are no replies or answer to this problem. Wat we can do now is wait....and see....
Well, now its on my part to work things on myself...to draw the line as i have promised her...and find back my old life.....not to keep thinking abt how her n her bf r doing now..or wat they r doing......I should get a life!!!!!
and luckily..i still have a grp of friends who is rather supportive to me at this point of time...i didnt realli feel as bad or moody..and im trying to work things on my life as well........
its onli a matter of time b4 i move on.........:o
Tuxgal
01-07-2007, 02:01 PM
Well I'm glad it didn't go too bad. Yeah, lol getting a life would probably be good. I'm glad you've other friends who are supportive. We're here for ya too :)
its been a while..and i just couldn get over her.....
we r still wat we r now...and i don know wat she is thinking..and i uncontrollably keep guessing whats on her mind.....
my mood swings v often and i lost interest in most of the things i have done.....
my life have not realli straighten out yet......
sometimes i really wish i never met her......nvr commit myself into this mess......
and i realli hope she can not give me any hopes as well....just kick me aside.......but smtimes she realli nice to me which makes me feel im being considered.....
wat shld i do??? at least my class is starting soon...and i get pretty occupied with my degree......hopefulli i can move on.....
never know falling in love can realli be so hurtful.....kind of think back..i felt i asked for it....haiz
Bro, I know how you feel. Falling in love is beautiful, but it can hurt like ****, man.
Sometimes you may feel the "all or nothing" either choose me or don't choose me, make up you mind! Kind of feeling. Don't worry man, you're not alone, tell us, we're like a family here.
mashmac
01-17-2007, 10:01 AM
I like what EmotionalCreature said - although there is a few of us checking in - it has been incredibly helpful for me
to talk this way. It kind of touched my heart! And to be honest I never thought when I randomly landed here that it
would be like this. :)
mashmac
01-17-2007, 10:05 AM
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The bible said that.
They came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]
hi emotionalcreature.....i tot u would harshly scold me for being so silly, but seeing your reply really brighten me......
i know im falling into a bottomless pit but i just cant pull myself out of it.....
i mean is this wat we call love????
im so scare....i realli felt so alone....i mean i cant always rely on my friend existence to make me feel better.........and it has been a bothered to some of them....haiz....i don know wat i shld do now....
i force myself to forget her..i try to keep a distant.....but its all not working
i send her a short message last nite tellin her how i felt...and ask how she felt..this morning on impulse i send her another short message askin her if she forsee we will have a future...but she didnt reply..back in office she told me she was too busy and she would reply me later..this hopefulli helps....
I like what EmotionalCreature said - although there is a few of us checking in - it has been incredibly helpful for me
to talk this way. It kind of touched my heart! And to be honest I never thought when I randomly landed here that it
would be like this. :)
hi mashmac....thanks for ur comforting:o
aussiecoffee007
01-18-2007, 12:06 AM
i think you should wait until she is unattached, since she cant really completley give herself to you in a relationship if she is attached to someone else. do you know why she wont end things with the other guy if you two are together? also, i would check your intraoffice relation policies, but i dont think the coworker aspect of your issue is as much of a problem as the whole boyfriend thing...
i think you should wait until she is unattached, since she cant really completley give herself to you in a relationship if she is attached to someone else. do you know why she wont end things with the other guy if you two are together? also, i would check your intraoffice relation policies, but i dont think the coworker aspect of your issue is as much of a problem as the whole boyfriend thing...
i wish i can......i tryin so hard..to keep myself away....and i felt so selfish becos i wanted a confirmation to rule out the possibility tat even if she is unattached..i would stand a chance still???
im so selfish i wanted to know so i can consider to wait or leave her.......i oso don know wat im doing at times....haiz......
Pika, please man, don't misunderstand things I've said as harsh. Sometimes we just need to get a big dose of cold hard truths and facts. If you expect me to pamper you, turn on a soft music and put a blanket over you while I pat your back, it's not going to help much in the long run. But hey, we all have that nice sides, many of us need that sometimes :)
Yeah, I guess that's love, mate, you sound like a nice guy, wish I can sit there and have a few drinks with you, some chat, and bring you back from the sorrow you're in. The truth is, you're not in a bottomless pit, believe me.
We all feel lonely sometimes, friends can comfort you to a point, then the rest you're on your own. Don't forget to look beside you, you'll see us here next to you, at least you'll see me. Time may not fix everything, may not make you forget, but you'll learn and you'll be stronger. Get yourself sorted out, roll with your life and have faiths the values you believe in, only then it will all be alright.
Also, don't lose your confidence over this.
Pika, please man, don't misunderstand things I've said as harsh. Sometimes we just need to get a big dose of cold hard truths and facts. If you expect me to pamper you, turn on a soft music and put a blanket over you while I pat your back, it's not going to help much in the long run. But hey, we all have that nice sides, many of us need that sometimes :)
Yeah, I guess that's love, mate, you sound like a nice guy, wish I can sit there and have a few drinks with you, some chat, and bring you back from the sorrow you're in. The truth is, you're not in a bottomless pit, believe me.
We all feel lonely sometimes, friends can comfort you to a point, then the rest you're on your own. Don't forget to look beside you, you'll see us here next to you, at least you'll see me. Time may not fix everything, may not make you forget, but you'll learn and you'll be stronger. Get yourself sorted out, roll with your life and have faiths the values you believe in, only then it will all be alright.
Also, don't lose your confidence over this.
hi bro...yeah, how i wish i could have a drink with u 2.....
well this might be my first commitment in love to conclude and i really learnt that relationship is not about one person but both party.
initially when i always thought that, don like can just walk away, or just directly ask her "hey do u love me?"
if not we just move on, but when yesterday i asked her the question if she foresee any possibility of us being together, i felt so bad..i suddenly felt i have been stressing her so much unknowingly.
Last nite, i was thinking on this thing, and i know that i have done something real terrible to a girl and it might even cost an end to our friendship.
this morning i bought her breakfast to apologize and luckily this girl was one of the kindest i have met.....n things didnt realli went out of place.....
mashmac
01-19-2007, 09:00 AM
take care pika, it's not easy at all. but it does get better. i promise :)
take care pika, it's not easy at all. but it does get better. i promise :)
hi mashmac..thanks....i really hope the next post will be much better.......:o
mashmac
01-19-2007, 09:00 PM
Hope you are feeling even just a little better :)
hi all bros and sis....finally I'm walking out of this one sided relationship....
somehow i came to know that for all those i have done for her seems to be too much and she might not even be kind enough to appreciate it....
every morning i would ask her if she req breakfast...and sometimes would bring an extra share for her....but in her position, she normally will just bring her own share..even if her mum has prepared additional, she would not even bother to ask me if i required.
time and again i waited for her when she worked late, but it seems like on days i worked late, she would not have waited for me....
i would message her whenever she work late to check if she is back home safely but she wouldn do tat for me to even ask if i had my dinner.....
I would brew her coffee in morning, but she would not initiate to do that on days when i look tired!
I'm not sure if she do thats for her boyfriend but i think this girl doesn't really do all these stuff...her world is herself....
yes, its realli mostly in her own world....sometimes i tot that even if maintaining a close friend or colleague relationship, she could have done more....and yet she always call me her best friend in office where she wouldn even offer to care the slightest bit.....fail badly as a friend i would say......
yes of course the stuff i have done was out of my own willingness...and i believe i will not do so much in future...its really a waste of time and effort if its committed by one party....especialli if it doesn't get appreciated
Tuxgal
01-24-2007, 02:17 PM
Good for you on doing what's best for you. :) Some people are truly just all about themselves. My ex was that way too. You just have to walk away from people like that. we're behind you 100% and here for you if you need to talk. We hope you stick around, you may be able to help others as well. :)
mashmac
01-27-2007, 03:54 PM
hey - how are you doing?
hey - how are you doing?
hi mashmac....im picking up myself....
last nite i realli confront the girl and we have a real long talk......it seems like communication was breakdown somewhere end up causing confusion and misery to all.....
i have also assured her that i will pick myself up and move on...we will be nothing more than just friend.....
somehow i was hurt in one of her comments.....that i actually cry and somehow i feel that it wasnt realli worth me doing all these for her....maybe she isnt realli the one....i did not shift the blame on her for this and i also think i need not live myself in misery.....
at least now its easier for me...suddenly i feel so relieved....and im glad i came clear on everything.......
hope this exp will be useful to all.....best is still to say out and trash things out....don becos of some reasons we hide the fact...end up more problems will arise..but of course as a gentlemen, a guy will need to salvage the situation back to the normal one no matter wat answer u gotten...........
mashmac
02-07-2007, 07:37 PM
how is it going pika? i am finally doing so much better guys. i think the hardest is really behind me and my heart although forever broken has finally healed as much as it could have. i think...so light at last
how is it going pika? i am finally doing so much better guys. i think the hardest is really behind me and my heart although forever broken has finally healed as much as it could have. i think...so light at last
hi mashmac...good for u....im still trying but its definitely better.......haha.....the tot of u still ard supporting me...emotional creature and tuxgal......
think its time to learn to be stronger and more mature in the approach towards relationship...haha
pls update me or us as and when u have any problem k...i oso wish to be a help to u as well!
I was quite upset yesterday, or rather confuse.....
Yes, it has been a 2nd week since i trying to make myself back on track and i admit i have putting up a brave front infront of all my colleagues including her that i have got over it....
but yesterday was accompanyin one of my male colleague to shop for V day present for her gf and he asked "her" along to help give some advice on the choice of gift.
Initialli i didn want to go feeling uncomfortable but my colleague beg me to follow becos they didnt have much conversation as well....
this girl when reached, was talking abt picking a gift for her boyfriend....and guess wat, i ended up helping her to choose a gift for her boyfriend.....
And hello.....its only 2 weeks before i told her i am trying to get over her.....
and will u ask some one who has confess he likes u to choose a present for ur current? I think its abit too much n a mixture of anger and sadness came on me.....
i was thinking how untactful and unconsiderate she has been....but on 2nd tot, i think this also signal to me to kill all hopes etc and move on....
Not sure wat her motive was or was there any.....but im definitely quite unhappy abt it....and worse part i have to pretend to the best that i can being enthusiatic abt choosing the right gift....
however this outing makes me know more abt her and i realli sort of think twice if she realli suits me....it jus didnt seems to be the sort i picture her to be.....
You shouldn't be too upset about it man, she's taken, and if she's willing to work it out with her boyfriend then just let her. If you even consider her as a friend, and you feel that you love her, you can do this.
Like I said before, this is a good time for you to step back and watch it all unfold, watch what sort of person she is. Or maybe she just asked you to help her as a friend.
You shouldn't be too upset about it man, she's taken, and if she's willing to work it out with her boyfriend then just let her. If you even consider her as a friend, and you feel that you love her, you can do this.
Like I said before, this is a good time for you to step back and watch it all unfold, watch what sort of person she is. Or maybe she just asked you to help her as a friend.
yes bro...actualli i don wish to put myself back into the old shoes like the past...and im trying to get out.....and i believe i am more or less out of it....just that it kind of angers me yesterday...haha...and i just scolded my colleague for being so insensitive and untactful of the situation since he knows wats going on.....
well cant blame the girl either...she is taken like u said and she is living normalli which i myself took it a little personal....
Yes i agree finalli with wat u say...take a step backwards and monitor wat sort of person she is....think there are still many things unfold abt her which i don know......
and i need to ask u for an advice....do u think i shld continue to help her during her work...or personal etc? or shld i just distant away frm her???
actualli i already have the answer.......just be normal...like a friend....help if possible but not to an extreme......however i still wish for the time to come when i can take everything normalli......like her
by the way, i have stop doing all those stuff i did in the past......kinda feel bad as well for her...cos she is attached and by doing all these stuff for her doesnt reflect too good on her in office...
And yes...think its all abt myself.......all within me....that i need to clear this part of me....not her.....or anyone
now infront of me, she is talking loudly abt her plans this coming v day with her bf...going to some park..booking of table...everything just look so normal....
so normal that i think i shld be normal as well...and don care abt it!
Think i realli shldn be upset or bothered by it.....
Spot on! Pika, that's the right way, be strong about it man. Nobody's life is perfect man, I help you, you help me, I have issues that eat away my heart as well.
You asked if you should be helping her with stuff and get involved in activities etc. Well, that's your choice. I assume you two haven't gone as far as sexual contacts or kissing or anything like that?
Just act normal as she's a friend, offer help if you want but don't go over and offer your services. Even if she starts to wonder why you stop doing what you were doing and start being impressed and attracted to you and all ... (Girls are interested in guys who aren't interested in them, it's complex but hey we men aren't that simple either) ... Don't fall for it, why? I'll explain below.
I have a logic here, say if you successfully have her as yours, if she leaves her man to be with you and all. Whether emotionally cheated or sexually cheated on her current man. Would you have goodnight sleeps when she comes home late, when she spends a lot of time on her computer, when she receives text messages or phone calls or when she stays over her friend's place? When you know what she's capable of? Can you refrain yourself from asking a whole bunch of questions those are almost interrogation-like and avoid causing pain and heartaches to her or yourself? Whether what she will tell you is true or not.
Spot on! Pika, that's the right way, be strong about it man. Nobody's life is perfect man, I help you, you help me, I have issues that eat away my heart as well.
You asked if you should be helping her with stuff and get involved in activities etc. Well, that's your choice. I assume you two haven't gone as far as sexual contacts or kissing or anything like that?
Just act normal as she's a friend, offer help if you want but don't go over and offer your services. Even if she starts to wonder why you stop doing what you were doing and start being impressed and attracted to you and all ... (Girls are interested in guys who aren't interested in them, it's complex but hey we men aren't that simple either) ... Don't fall for it, why? I'll explain below.
I have a logic here, say if you successfully have her as yours, if she leaves her man to be with you and all. Whether emotionally cheated or sexually cheated on her current man. Would you have goodnight sleeps when she comes home late, when she spends a lot of time on her computer, when she receives text messages or phone calls or when she stays over her friend's place? When you know what she's capable of? Can you refrain yourself from asking a whole bunch of questions those are almost interrogation-like and avoid causing pain and heartaches to her or yourself? Whether what she will tell you is true or not.
wat u say is true bro...yeah...we have no sexualli......or any contacts...maybe emotionalli.....yeah i have been keeping my distant frm her..not doing alot of stuff.....
and somehow i just don care, leave office the time i want to and in the past will drop her a good bye message or an overtime message....nowadays i have stop doing all these and i discover that somehow or in some way, she has been replying me instead....like sending me a message when she leaves office late nite just like saying things like c u tomo etc.....or thanks for the help in office etc......and normalli it comes after 3 to 4 hrs later......i jus don understand why sometimes she can reply a sms in 5 mins...but sometimes take 4 to 5 hrs to reply.....
well it doesnt matter anymore...yesterday was on leave and roam ard the town, and i actualli discover that the pond has many fish and some might be even better than her....not in terms of looks etc and i was thinking y must i place myself in a well when i have a pond just 2 steps away......and the fishes there are nicer.......
thin i realli need more exposure as well......
anyway thanks bro!!!
Pika, you're expecting her, who you've said it yourself, that you're trying get over, to do things the way you want her to do.
One of the things I've learned from my relationship is that, everyone is an individual, no matter how look alike or whatever routines we do the same way.
You have to respect that in everyone, even people who are in relationships together have to understand this, and she's not even in a relationship with you.
Shouldn't question or have some sort of nifty feelings just because she replied your messages whenever she wants to. People these days are expecting way too much in so many things, sometimes you've got to put it down or let it go, grass is not always greener on the other side, but you won't have to battle some cows to snatch the green grass from it's mouth. It might not be as green but it has potential and it's your very own patch.
Get over it for real man, it would be nice to see you posting new messages feeling excited about someone new and unattached you've just met :) Time to take out your fishing rod and walk over to that pond you've talked about.
Pika, you're expecting her, who you've said it yourself, that you're trying get over, to do things the way you want her to do.
One of the things I've learned from my relationship is that, everyone is an individual, no matter how look alike or whatever routines we do the same way.
You have to respect that in everyone, even people who are in relationships together have to understand this, and she's not even in a relationship with you.
Shouldn't question or have some sort of nifty feelings just because she replied your messages whenever she wants to. People these days are expecting way too much in so many things, sometimes you've got to put it down or let it go, grass is not always greener on the other side, but you won't have to battle some cows to snatch the green grass from it's mouth. It might not be as green but it has potential and it's your very own patch.
Get over it for real man, it would be nice to see you posting new messages feeling excited about someone new and unattached you've just met :) Time to take out your fishing rod and walk over to that pond you've talked about.
Think i am still a little immature after all, Yes Bro, i believe this should be the last posting about her. I know what i should do from now onwards. Thanks alot! Sometimes its good to face the truth, yes you are right, i am still a little bothered by this issue and i really wish to get out of it now. Just a little determination that's all and we are having our Lunar Chinese new year in another 4 days time, and I really hope by then it be a new beginning for me.
cathy
04-01-2010, 02:05 AM
I really feel for you, at some point in our lives, it happens to the best of us.
Have you tried dating other singles? This might get her attention,you know. We women, wants all the attention, when suddenly it's not there, we wonder --- make her miss you!!! That might work..
Good luck, bro!!
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