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View Full Version : He told me i'm not confident enough


chocolicious
05-20-2008, 06:39 AM
My bf had asked for us to go on a break and that he needed to sort things out. But he kept changing his mind saying things were ok etc. Then just there on Friday he said we should split up. Then all over the weekend he was saying how he's not sure what to do or if he made the right desicion or anything.
Until Last night, he texted me saying alot of horrible things. He was saying things like the problem was my personality , i'm too shy, i make him cringe when around his family, or freinds. I never dress sexy or do my hair sexy etc. He said i was too easy to manipulate and thats why he's treated me like crap. He said i'm not the confident young sexy woman he wants, he feels like a pedophile with me because he thinks i'm like a 12 yr old. But then after he said i was a caring person with a good heart who he still cares for but he has bad in him that makes him unhappy or something.
Then ha started saying he's got a job that means he has to be away for a few months, and maybe once he gets back we'd both be more grown up. And we might be able to work things out and it's the only chance for us etc.
Then i went on my bebo and he had removed me as his other half as if he didn't care about me anymore. I phoned him asking why he had done this and he said cause i'm not his other half. And i said but it doesn't really mean that, alot of single people have a friend as there other half. And he just kind of sounded like he shrugged it off.
How am i suppose to cope with this?, i feel like rubbish , i can hardly eat , i feel sick all the time. He was my best friend , my only friend, i feel i have noone to talk to. I wish he had just said he'd fell out of love with me and we could still have been freinds. Why did he say all that to me if he cares for me?

Tony
05-20-2008, 09:18 AM
I am sorry to hear this chocolicious :(
I honestly would have a serious think about him as I think he is treating you like rubbish
he has said Quote] the problem was my personality i'm too shy, i make him cringe when around his family, or freinds.

I think he has the problem and not you. Treating you like Quote] crap is no now way to treat you. :nono:
he may very well see you as a Trophy and he is not seeing the person you are who has feelings as well. :)

with him saying to you Quote] He said i'm not the confident young sexy woman he wants, he feels like a pedophile with me because he thinks i'm like a 12 yr old.

if these are his thoughts you are better off without him believe me.

he is laying all the blame onto you and thats not the right thing for him to do.
he needs to have a good long hard look at himself.

I think that if he has gone away because of work could be a good thing for you that will help you to heal with the hurt he has caused you.

I think he is the one that has to grow up.
we are all here for you at any time :)

**Sapphire**
05-20-2008, 12:41 PM
I agree with Tony Chocolicious, this guy is putting all kinds of blame on you & making you feel horrible when the reality is HE is the bad 1 here.

I know it's hard, but try not to take the things he said to you to heart & don't change for him either. Those things that he named as something bad, are really good traits you have & you know what, a REAL MAN will see those traits & love you beause of them, not put you down.

It seems to me like he wants a loose woman, well let him have that type of woman I say.

I think him leaving for work is a good thing, you won't be able to have contact with him, so it will be much easier for you to heal from his hurting you & to move on as well. He isn't worth your tears or hurt hun, that was truly not right all those things he said to you.

You have all of us as your new found friends to chat with on the forum or even in PM's if you would like, we are all here for you.

~Teej~
05-20-2008, 05:26 PM
This guy sounds horrible and treats you like rubbish..I think that you are much better of without him to be honest.
Let this guy go and get on with the rest of your life as this guy isn't worth any effort.

chocolicious
05-20-2008, 09:23 PM
Yeah i think you a right . I went on his bebo site tonight. He is already chatting with girls , one of which nearly split us up because she said nasty things about me and that she had done stuff with him. Although i truly belive she was being a biatch and he didn't kow her. But the thing is he wants to know her now.

I'm just finding it really hard to accept that my relationship is over , i was with him for over two and a half years and he was my best friend etc.

I hope i heal soon , this is killing me :(. Plus i kinda wonder to myself , will i ever find anyone similar to him but better?. I hate neds alot and there are so many of them around me. (no offence to any neds on forum just not my type) I feel it's going to be ages before i find someone decent. :(

~Teej~
05-20-2008, 09:53 PM
excuse my stupidity, but what does neds stand for???

**Sapphire**
05-21-2008, 01:34 PM
You will find someone new eventually & he will probably be much better than the guy you had, as you deserve someone better than him.

It will take time, but you will heal. Go out & make some friends, take up a hobby if there is something you enjoy doing or always wanted to do. Now is the time for you & to do for yourself.

Plus, you have all of us here to chat to you when you need it, we are only a PM or a thread in the forum away if you need us. :)