kaydee
12-24-2006, 01:08 AM
Well, after our "break" my boyfriend and I broke up. Let me tell you how it went.
We had been having problems for a while because this kid I once knew told him I was cheating on him (which I was not). One day I went to kiss him, and he backed away from me, so I told him "You haven't kissed me like you mean it all weekend!" and he said "well this weekend was kinda rough. I mean, I still don't know what to think." So I told him, "you have two option, a) you trust me because i love you. or b) you don't believe me, but you wait patiently for me to regain your trust. There is no c, there is no, we break up and that's it. If that happens, I will be on the phone everyday trying to get you back. I will be at your house every morning trying to get to drive with me. I cannot lose you." He replied with "you better start callin."
I was hysterical. I cried uncontrollably and begged him for a second chance. Eventually he agreed. Everything was fine for a while. We are both in a performing arts ensemble and we had a rehearsal that friday (he broke up with me on monday). I showed up to the rehearsal early, hoping he would be there early too. He was, and I gave him a picture I painted of him in a spiderman costume (because of his agility and my red hair we called eachother Spiderman and Mary Jane.) He loved it soo much he kissed me, passionately. We found a private place and proceeded to be intimate. The rest of our rehearsal was amazing. That sunday we went to dinner, and back to my place, where we were once again intimate. I asked him if he was planning on breaking up with me anytime soon and he said "No way MJ." I was sooo happy. I was under the impression that I had won him back for good. However, things eventually got horrible again. We had a performance one week later and he told me that I was annoying him, and that he wanted to break up with me again. I called him, begging and pleading, crying so hard that I couldn't even breath and had to be temporarily hospitalized.
I wrote him a letter saying that we needed to talk about what was bothering him. I knew that his friends still thought that i had cheated on him and didn't want him to date me anymore so I told him we could continue to date, and just tell everyone that we broke up, but he said it wasn't necessary. He said we could work it out because he loved me. However, two days later, he was being cold again, and refused to hold my hand in the car. So I told him we needed to take a break, he had a major audition coming up and he didn't need my stress in his life right now. I missed him like CRAZY, and that sunday we went to dinner, and I asked him to come back to my house, expecting the same kind of reunion we had before, but this time, he would not even sit with me on my couch. He sat on a chair on the other side of the room, and asked me quite soon to take him home.
When I returned from taking him home (he doesn't have a car), I called him and asked him "what is it gonna take to make you happy?" he said he didn't know but i knew. and so I broke up with him. He told me when we broke up that there was a strong possibility that we would get back together, and that we were simply putting our relationship on hold for a while until we were both ready to start it all up again.
This outlook soon changed though. I called him everyday, crying and begging him to come back. I told him I wanted him to kill me. I told him that i didn't want to live if I couldn't live with him. He grew distant from me.
He started telling me that i was pathetic, and that he would never date me again. He told me that I was just not the same girl he fell in love with.
So I started thinking about what kind of girl I was that made him love me. I was strong, confident, beautiful, and mature. So I decided that's what I needed to be to get him to love me again.
A few days ago, I gave him a christmas present: a cd I had promised to burn him 6 months ago but had forgotten about. I gave him the present, and he said "thank you." then I said "I have another present for you: I'm gonna give you all the time and space you need to be cool with me."(we had promised to be best friends after our break up.) He said "wow, it only took you a month to realize that's what I need." so I said "Yeah, I'm an idiot." and he agreed.
That day we had a rehearsal, during which we had a lengthly break. We were all really bored, I decided to start a game of Holiday hangman. At first, just a few friends of mine were playing, but eventually, he began ot play as well. Here's the part that puzzles me:
He started teasing me. Like, getting the answers from the friend of mine that was helping me spell all the jewish words, and then blurting them out without guessing more than one letter. then he took the marker from me and started coming up with words himself. Finally (though this may seem mean) his friends had made a ball out of old paper and tape, and he threw it at the board beside me screaming "damn it, I missed) when I looked back at him.
It was a weird, kind of flirtatious attitude.
Now I don't know what to do. There is no doubt in my mind that if I continue to be cool with him, he will eventually realize that he loves me. But I also want to find out what that flirting was about? Why did he flirt with me if he would never date me again? And how do I continue this pattern until he falls in love with me again?
I need help!! What do I do now??!!!
We had been having problems for a while because this kid I once knew told him I was cheating on him (which I was not). One day I went to kiss him, and he backed away from me, so I told him "You haven't kissed me like you mean it all weekend!" and he said "well this weekend was kinda rough. I mean, I still don't know what to think." So I told him, "you have two option, a) you trust me because i love you. or b) you don't believe me, but you wait patiently for me to regain your trust. There is no c, there is no, we break up and that's it. If that happens, I will be on the phone everyday trying to get you back. I will be at your house every morning trying to get to drive with me. I cannot lose you." He replied with "you better start callin."
I was hysterical. I cried uncontrollably and begged him for a second chance. Eventually he agreed. Everything was fine for a while. We are both in a performing arts ensemble and we had a rehearsal that friday (he broke up with me on monday). I showed up to the rehearsal early, hoping he would be there early too. He was, and I gave him a picture I painted of him in a spiderman costume (because of his agility and my red hair we called eachother Spiderman and Mary Jane.) He loved it soo much he kissed me, passionately. We found a private place and proceeded to be intimate. The rest of our rehearsal was amazing. That sunday we went to dinner, and back to my place, where we were once again intimate. I asked him if he was planning on breaking up with me anytime soon and he said "No way MJ." I was sooo happy. I was under the impression that I had won him back for good. However, things eventually got horrible again. We had a performance one week later and he told me that I was annoying him, and that he wanted to break up with me again. I called him, begging and pleading, crying so hard that I couldn't even breath and had to be temporarily hospitalized.
I wrote him a letter saying that we needed to talk about what was bothering him. I knew that his friends still thought that i had cheated on him and didn't want him to date me anymore so I told him we could continue to date, and just tell everyone that we broke up, but he said it wasn't necessary. He said we could work it out because he loved me. However, two days later, he was being cold again, and refused to hold my hand in the car. So I told him we needed to take a break, he had a major audition coming up and he didn't need my stress in his life right now. I missed him like CRAZY, and that sunday we went to dinner, and I asked him to come back to my house, expecting the same kind of reunion we had before, but this time, he would not even sit with me on my couch. He sat on a chair on the other side of the room, and asked me quite soon to take him home.
When I returned from taking him home (he doesn't have a car), I called him and asked him "what is it gonna take to make you happy?" he said he didn't know but i knew. and so I broke up with him. He told me when we broke up that there was a strong possibility that we would get back together, and that we were simply putting our relationship on hold for a while until we were both ready to start it all up again.
This outlook soon changed though. I called him everyday, crying and begging him to come back. I told him I wanted him to kill me. I told him that i didn't want to live if I couldn't live with him. He grew distant from me.
He started telling me that i was pathetic, and that he would never date me again. He told me that I was just not the same girl he fell in love with.
So I started thinking about what kind of girl I was that made him love me. I was strong, confident, beautiful, and mature. So I decided that's what I needed to be to get him to love me again.
A few days ago, I gave him a christmas present: a cd I had promised to burn him 6 months ago but had forgotten about. I gave him the present, and he said "thank you." then I said "I have another present for you: I'm gonna give you all the time and space you need to be cool with me."(we had promised to be best friends after our break up.) He said "wow, it only took you a month to realize that's what I need." so I said "Yeah, I'm an idiot." and he agreed.
That day we had a rehearsal, during which we had a lengthly break. We were all really bored, I decided to start a game of Holiday hangman. At first, just a few friends of mine were playing, but eventually, he began ot play as well. Here's the part that puzzles me:
He started teasing me. Like, getting the answers from the friend of mine that was helping me spell all the jewish words, and then blurting them out without guessing more than one letter. then he took the marker from me and started coming up with words himself. Finally (though this may seem mean) his friends had made a ball out of old paper and tape, and he threw it at the board beside me screaming "damn it, I missed) when I looked back at him.
It was a weird, kind of flirtatious attitude.
Now I don't know what to do. There is no doubt in my mind that if I continue to be cool with him, he will eventually realize that he loves me. But I also want to find out what that flirting was about? Why did he flirt with me if he would never date me again? And how do I continue this pattern until he falls in love with me again?
I need help!! What do I do now??!!!