How can I get over being so insecure?

[indigeax]

I have been dating someone for a couple of months now and we became intimate a couple of weeks ago. I last saw him on Sunday. He attempted to call me twice on Monday but I missed his calls. I left a message for him yesterday acknowledging his calls and told him to call me if he would like. I did not hear from him last night and I woke up an absolute basket case thinking that I will never hear from him again. Neither one of us has verbally expressed how we feel for each other. I am hesitant to say anything until he does, but I think he is waiting for my cue. I met him on a personals website so we were both obviously looking to meet someone. Now that we have become intimate, I am concerned that he is still out there looking while sleeping with me. I do not want to drive him away by having the relationship talk but I want to make sure that I am not being a pushover either. We will both be out of town for Christmas, but now I am starting to stress over being with him for New Years. He has be quite shy about everything thus far so I don't know if I should just ask him out. (we did not even kiss until the 5th date) Sorry for rambling...

[Tuxie]

Hiya indigeax and welcome.

NEVER apologize for rambling... this is a great place to ramble. Getting it out is healthy for the soul. :)

It's a tough situation, I know. It's easy for me to say, because I'm not 'in your shoes'... but I've always found it best in the long run to get your feelings out in the open. Tell him how you feel. If you don't, you may never know what could've happened with him (as far as a relationship goes). Too many people go through life saying "woulda, coulda, shoulda....". I think the insecurity on your part is due to not fully knowing or understanding how he feels towards you. Once you 'get it out' by telling him how you feel, that should clear up somewhat.

I hope this helps. Keep us updated. ;)

[EC]

It would be different if he's a local or if he's someone that you occasionally meet on a daily / weekly basis. If he lives far away from you and you two want to give it a try, it might be better if you let him know.

[indigeax]

Someone that I have been casually dating for a few months asked me out for coffee tomorrow. I automatically assume that it is to dump me. Although I wish that if he was going to he would have done it when he called so I don't have to think about it for the next 24 hrs.

We spent last Sunday together and had a great time and talked a couple of times during the week. He made a comment when I saw him that I am hard to read and that it is hard to tell what I am thinking. I had just decided to talk to him about how I feel about him when he called about tommorrow. I really like this guy and have just been holding back my feelings to avoid getting hurt. So, I feel that he either wants to meet to see how I am feeling or to send me on my way. Any feedback?

[Tuxgal]

How did things go? For future reference you can't assume anything. I speak from experience. If you assume the worst you'll drive yourself nuts. Several times I nearly lost my love because of my own insecurities and thoughts. Try to relax, when you start having these worst case scenerios...try to do something else, keep your mind active. I know easier said then done but try your best.

[Tuxie]

Why do you just assume the message is bad? It seems counterproductive to worry about the possiblities. I know... I know, it's easier said than done. I've been guilty of the same thing. But ya know... I read your last post, and got the opposite thought. I just think that maybe he just wants to find out what's going on in your head.

Keep us updated. :)