was i right to break up with her?

[reporterman117]

My girlfriend and I just broke up. The reason - her meddling ex-boyfriend. The kid was crazy, had never gotten over her and was coming between the two of us. She would constantly text and talk to him on the phone even with me sitting right next to her. I told her how upset I was that he kept hanging around. We almost broke up this past weekend, but decided to try to rebuild our relationship. Now, her ex was the reason we almost broke up, and she calls to tell me she's having him over to help move some boxes and other things. I tell her he makes me nervous because it doesn't seem like he know understands boundaries. She replies, "so, you'd rather me not have help?" I was at work or I would have helped her. She then says, "well he's helping me move other things out of my apartment?" I told her I just feel nervous about him being with you and it was too soon to throw this in my face and bring the reason why we almost broke up back into the relationship. Was I wrong to break it up?

She also would tell me how much she couldn't stand this kid, but yet still talk to him and hang out with him. She told him they couldn't be friends any more so I wouldn't have to worry, but he still kept calling her. She also told me one night she felt lonely, so she called him instead of me and I was her boyfriend. What gives?

I just felt used and in the background in the relationship even though she insisted that wasn't the case and she didn't have any more feelings for her ex. Still, he came between us, which I don't think showed respect for her, myself and the two of us as a couple. If he truly cared and loved her (they only dated for two weeks, yet he loved her) then he should be happy she was happy and only want the best. I don't know what to feel.

[**Sapphire**]

Welcome to ATLF, I'm glad that you joined us & decided to post your need for advice with our helpful, caring members. :)

Have you talked to her seriously about how the ex has been coming between your relationship & how it bothered you?

[reporterman117]

I have multiple times. I told her it upset me that she would rather talk to him all day even when I was sitting there with her. She would tell me all the time how she couldn't stand the kid and hated him, and then the next day they would be buddies again. She also told him off a few times and told him they couldn't be friends, because she didn't want me to worry. But that didn't stop him from calling and texting her and her from responding to his calls and messages. He also came between my ex and her best friend, and they are in the process of rebuilding their relationship currently.
He just seems so manupilative and she believes every word he tells her, including I wasn't good enough for her and she could do so much better while the two of us were dating.
She just seems very immature and easily persuaded and it seems he is controlling her. It just felt like I was back in middle school with all the drama.

[**Sapphire**]

Sounds to me then that you did the right thing in breaking it off with her. She was not respecting you & your relationship by being so friendly with her ex. They can be friends, but it seems she was putting him first & that isn't right.

Maybe give it some time & see if she contacts you, maybe you 2 can talk after not being together for a bit & see where things go from there.

[aussiecoffee007]

i agree, there is a differnet between being friends and being friendly... especially if she knew how much it bothered you. maybe you can see if she wants to come back and realizes what she has lost...

[~Teej~]

From what you said the ex bf sounds like a right fruit loop..I think you are better off out of the situation to be honest.
Welcome to the ATLF :wave:

[romantico26]

U did good in breaking up with her...if she answered and everything it meant that she still cared for him...you deserve better...

[Beautiful Mystique]

It is best to get yourself out of a situation like this. It can get very messy and I don't think you need all the drama.