Unrequited

[Unrequited]

We were friends with benefits for two years. Ended mid way but he came back weeks later. It recently ended again. Before it ended he was picking me up at work when it stormed, lending me his car, cooking dinner, sleep overs, movies and hanging with me several nights a week. I put it out there, and he said he doesn't have feelings for me, said he never led me on. I realise I need to take what he said for what its worth, but its hard when his actions said so different. Thoughts? How could I be so far off base with his actions being what they were. I want to move on, but hard to let go despite not wanting to convince someone to want to be with me.

[Tuxgal]

Well, first off I wanna welcome you. I'm Tuxgal, one of the Super Mod's on here. Tuxguy is the other Super Mod. If you need anything just ask us or Admin. As for your question...let me think on it some and either I or someone will get back to you.

[spaceship94]

Maybe he didn't try to lead you on and was too blind or ignorant to see what was really going on. Sounds like you were just a door mat for him. :(

[Tuxgal]

Well, I'd agree. Maybe he wasn't trying to lead you on. If you guys were truly friends with benefits...then those are the sort of things friends do. If it was a close female friend of yours you probably wouldn't think twice about their actions. It's just when sex gets involved emotions get mixed up. You started to have feelings, he saw you as a friend. Not blaming you, it happens. That's why I think FWB is a losing proposition. The only way it could work is if you can guarantee that no feelings will develop for either of you. That's near impossible it's usually best to stay clear. If it was an existing friendship you could wind up losing your friend. I know it's painful right now, but maybe you can see this as a life lesson. Next time maybe you should wait until your with someone you love. Good luck to you. We're here for ya'.

[Tuxie]

We were friends with benefits for two years. Ended mid way but he came back weeks later. It recently ended again. Before it ended he was picking me up at work when it stormed, lending me his car, cooking dinner, sleep overs, movies and hanging with me several nights a week. I put it out there, and he said he doesn't have feelings for me, said he never led me on. I realise I need to take what he said for what its worth, but its hard when his actions said so different. Thoughts? How could I be so far off base with his actions being what they were. I want to move on, but hard to let go despite not wanting to convince someone to want to be with me.
Hiya and welcome. :)

Ugghhh... dontcha just hate one sided relationships? The good news is, most everyone has experienced these before. I don't think it's a good thing to do... to convince someone to want to be with you. Relationships built this way usually turn out one-sided. There's someone better for you out there.

[Unrequited]

I think I could appreciate all that if he wasn't still pursuing me now, buying me things, taking me out.

Thanks all for the kind words.