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View Full Version : Where Have All the Manners Gone?


Davey Crockett
04-05-2006, 03:57 AM
What? Huh? Move! Gimme a ¦, Hey can I ¦? Where oh where have all the manners gone? What ever happened to: Pardon me? I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. Excuse me please. May I have? Those phrases are almost extinct for children today. You may still occasionally hear those words from adults aged 40 and older, but pretty much not anyone younger.

How long has it been since families all ate around the dinner table? Can you remember enjoying a meal when the person speaking wasn't interrupted? People just knew not to phone during meal times; and if your phone did ring, there was no getting up from the table to answer the phone unless you thought it might be an emergency. Of course, during that time of polite table manners, Caller ID and answering machines weren't around, so the caller would just need to call back another time. And shall we discuss long phone calls? You just didn't phone people after eight o'clock at night, and certainly never past nine. It was just considered rude.

Sure more and more families are single parent homes and double income houses, and opportunities to sit around the dinner table are few and far between; but that's no excuse not to instill good manners in your children. Elbows off the table, napkin in your lap, don't talk with food in your mouth. Then there's no one starts eating until everyone is served, and blessings are said in some cases. Now everyone sits down and starts wolfing food down their mouths all the while reaching over each other. "Please pass the salt" is rarely heard anymore. And back in that day, no one dared leave the table until everyone was done. If there was something urgent which caused a family member the need to leave the table early, the child always asked the parent, "May I please be excused?" No one says that anymore! Why not?

How many of you can remember growing up saying, "Can I¦ and before any more words uttered past your lips, you were corrected to say "May I." May I go to¦? May I have¦ ? "Of course you're capable, you can, the real question is do you have permission to, which is MAY I?"

Manners are a lost art. Sadly if the parents don't use good manners, their children certainly can't be held responsible if they were never taught, nor ever were led by example. It's never too late to start calling people Sir and Maam or to use the magic words (that's Please and Thank you, for those who have forgotten!) If all else fails and you just don't know where to turn, start listening to people over 40, many of them still use manners, or trot to your local library and pick up a book. Heck, just Google "Manners" and see what you come up with!

Tuxie
12-11-2006, 01:10 PM
Yeah... what's up with this. I was out and about yesterday thinkin' about this very subject. People seem too 'self centered' these days. Before anyone says it.... yes, I know, Christmastime is not a GOOD time to be expecting manners and politeness. But it's not just around the holidays! It seems people are looking out for 'good old number one' and the heck with everyone else. People want to be first in line, and they want their way... or else! There seems to be a lot of tension and bitterness around, from what I see. Shoot (don't say shoot!!), even the cashier at the local gas station/convienent mart seemed 'mad at the world'. What's up?!?! :confused:

Tuxgal
12-11-2006, 01:32 PM
"Shoot...yeah, shoot." lol Sorry...had to. No, but seriously...I was just noticing this too. Not just the "please" and "thank you". But how people treat each other in traffic. A comedian once said, you get the sweetest, kindest, most gentle 80 year old woman, put her behind the wheel of an automobile, and suddenly she's ready to run you down. Just the other day I was driving to the store. It's the holiday season and I'm in a fairly populated area. So, needless to say there was a lot of traffic. I understood that. But I was sorta bemused watching other drivers and how they acted. Someone would be trying to make a turn, but they couldn't because other cars blocking them in. So one person would stop to allow them out to make the turn (plus there was a red light anyway). Only problem was none of the other cars wanted to stop (there was 3 lanes of traffic...only one stopped). By the time the other two cleared, the light had turned and the guy waiting kinda makes a "what can ya' do" gesture and takes off just as the car was about to finally make the turn, nearly running into them. I just don't understand. This is supposed to be the holiday season. "Goodwill towards men" and all that. Yet everyone is like "get out of my way!!" It's sad, really. Heh...don't even get me started on kids and their lack of manners. My ex's nieces and nephews had NONE! It's like it's just not taught anymore. If the parents won't do it maybe the schools should.

Tuxie
12-11-2006, 01:36 PM
My Mom is convinced it's something 'in the water'. *giggle~snort* Actually, her comments were directed toward all the murders and robberies lately... but I think it would apply here also.

LOL @ 'Shoot.... yeah, shoot' :p

lilcupid
10-07-2007, 04:27 PM
It always amazes me when people are shocked at how polite I am. I say please and thank-you a lot and many people have made comments on it lol. I was raised to treat others how I wish to be treated and I admit I get annoyed with those who lack manners! To me it shows disrespect, selfishness and rudeness.

Love Meter
01-31-2008, 05:06 AM
Whenever I ask for a favor from someone, I use the word please atleast twice. Also I make it a point to thank the person in advance and be polite. Unfortunately, most of the emails I receive are just the opposite. :(

chox4me
11-29-2008, 07:14 PM
I find getting family to all sit around the table together a big challenge every day. A couple of times a week, that's manageable. What with work schedules, children's after-school hobbies, etc, it all eats into family time and it can be hard to synchronise.

I remember as a kid, we'd sit around the table but my brothers and I suffered. We'd lunch at school between 12-1pm so by 5pm we were ready for dinner. Mother insisted we waited till Dad got in. If he was home on time then dinner was 6pm as soon as he got through the door but his driving job sometimes delayed him: traffic, roadworks, possible traffic accident, weather, lorry breaking down. It's all happened one time or another. We waited till 8pm once before mother gave up and decided to give us our meal. We were passing out! It wasn't Dad's fault but it really didn't work well. The weekends were different and that worked well.

As for manners, they're going down the pan rapidly :thumpdown:

**Sapphire**
11-30-2008, 02:27 PM
I agree chox4me, manners & just general niceness has gone downhill. With the internet being anonymous & people wanting to play games it's gotten very hard. Not only that, people in real life can become jealous of what others have or just blatantly talk about others they really don't know that well.

Where are the nice people these days? :dontknow::(

xLight09x
09-01-2010, 08:23 PM
I completely agree with you all. I'm 19, so I guess I'd be considered in the group that you think have no manners, but I'm nice to pretty much everyone I see (provided they haven't ****** me off). The road is a bit different. If I'm stuck behind someone slow, I'll scream at them (with the windows up), but I won't honk my horn. I let people go as much as I can, and all that jazz.

But I agree 100%. Like my brother had a virus on his desktop, and me being the family IT guy, went to me to fix it. It wasn't until I was finished wiping the computer and installing the operating system that I got a "thank you". Provided, he is the youngest, but it's still a lack of manners. Not to mention he'll scream at his Call of Duty game at the late hours of the night. "F**k you. Go off and die." Stuff like that.

But I refuse to be an irresponsible parent and let my kids have poor behavior and manners. So, I won't have kids. :D

aces88
09-02-2010, 03:23 AM
I remember a quote from a staff sergeant I talked too back when I was in Georgia for four months. It's stuck with me for quite awhile, "There's always time to be polite." Unfortunately we're in a culture that emphasizes being quick and doing everything in the fastest possible manner (no pun intended :D).

Wonder how different it would be if people took a couple seconds out of their day to wind back a little bit and be a little nicer.

**Sapphire**
09-02-2010, 12:24 PM
I remember a quote from a staff sergeant I talked too back when I was in Georgia for four months. It's stuck with me for quite awhile, "There's always time to be polite." Unfortunately we're in a culture that emphasizes being quick and doing everything in the fastest possible manner (no pun intended :D).

Wonder how different it would be if people took a couple seconds out of their day to wind back a little bit and be a little nicer.

You know what aces, your staff sergeant was right. I've noticed that alot the past few years. It's all about having whatever you want "right now". That doesn't extend to possesions either, it could be a person, going to places, ideas people have & the list goes on. It's like people just only think about themselves, how to do/get for them & they forget there are other people involved.

You should ask your staff sergeant if he ever heard the expression, "stop & smell the roses".

I grew up in a generation of having to have an imagination, so that took time to develop when playing games, playing with my friends etc.. So I take time to be nice to people. I'm not saying I'm a saint either cause believe me I do go OFF at times & am rude to people, but that's mostly when I've had to deal with idiots just 1 too many times & then my patience level is gone. :nono: