i can't talk to my bestfriend

[laura_lee88]

hey guys, im having a little trouble with one of my best female friends. She isn't one that likes to talk about her feelings which makes things very difficult for me, beacause i need to speak to her. I feel horrible as im typing this post out, i think my friend may have a drink related problem.
she calls me or sends me messages everyday asking if i want to go out drinking that night and sometimes i feel forced.
We can't even go out for dinner or lunch without her wanting alcohal. She is only 20 and likes to enjoy herself, She has had some problems in her life but who hasn't. I want to be there for her but my parents and boyfriend think shes a bad influence on me. I love this girl very much. ive known her for around 14 years.
Maybe because she's young she likes to enjoy herself and im over analyzing, is there anything i can do for her. I have tried to speak to her but she turns everything into a joke.
thanks x

[aussiecoffee007]

what makes you think that this drinking is excessive as opposed to just social? does she act like a differnet person when she is drunk? does she do stuff she regrets.doesnt remember? i dont know, it might not be a problem but it might just be scratching the surface of a huge problem with alcohol; it depends on your friend and how much she depends on it to have a good time.

[**Sapphire**]

Welcome back Laura Lee, we have missed your posts. :)

I have to agree with Aussie, if she just likes to have a drink or 2 with her meals or when she goes out that may not be a problem. Although, having drinks everytime your out etc., can lead to a problem down the line.

I would say possibly watch her for a bit longer, see if she does indeed need alcohol to have a good time & then try to have a serious talk with her about it. If she makes a joke out of it, be stern with her & tell her what you feel. You've known each other for a long time & hopefully she will try to understand where you are coming from & help herself.

Good luck & keep us posted too. :)

[laura_lee88]

thanks for replying, she drinks quite often and i get text messages saying, " i need drink...lets go out" and if i say no or tell her im babysitting or working ect she will go on and on until i eventually say yes, its my own fault i give in but i feel as though she will hate me if i dont go.
When were out for meals, she will ask for alcohal, and one will turn into more then she will want to go out clubbing, even if she has to be up early for work the next day. She may just like to be out enjoying herself, she won't just get a little bit drunk, she goes the full 9 yards.
If i can't go out she will find someone else to go out with even if she dosent really like them, shes a great girl and will do almost anything for people she cares about but when it comes to serious talking she will back off and make it into a joke. its really hard to explain how she is. last week she went out drinking 4 days. Even her mum tells her she's out far too much, she insists thats shes young and having fun.
sorry i haven't posted in a while.

[aussiecoffee007]

oh okay, well then it might be more of a problem than it seems. maybe you should tell her that you are concerned she is going too hard too fast and it might really wear her down in teh future. also, if she shrugs it off, just keep pushign through--eventually the jokes should stop and if they dont, she at least HEARD what you said, even if she didnt respond to it.

[**Sapphire**]

I agree with Aussie, you just have to sit her down & really, strongly tell her that you are concerned about her drinking problem. Point out how much she drinks & how she seems to always need to have a drink. She may think it's a joke, but maybe things pointed out to her may help to wake her up a bit.

If she still doesn't seem to take it to heart, there doesn't seem to be much that you can do about it. Keep a watch over her a bit & maybe every once in a while remind her of your talk with her previously & about her drinking.

She may have to see for herself that she is developing a drinking problem that could escalate very badly for her. :(

[dannygirl]

I know someone like that. Whenever you bring something to their attention they get really upset,but they do because they know its true... the only thing you can do is try to be civil and talk it out you and her and if your really that worried and she still doesn't listen... then consider an intervention. It could get harsh but it might also be what she needs to wake up!