i'm not satisfied anymore

[ocean of bad luck]

i have been dating this guy for more than 1 yr.. and i was always happy with him. i always felt he treated me good. had some few problems but then no relationship is perfect.

for some time though i have been feeling a little insecure about his feelings for me because hes always sweet, but doesn't say anything concrete, we still haven't said the i love you yet, but i'm afraid to say it in case he isn't going to say it back. i feel like there is a lack of intensity, you know, how men are supposed to WANT to always be around their girlfriends? and how they are supposed to want to meet frequently, and how they are supposed to want to hear their voice and that kind of thing? he'll say things that i'm beautiful or sweet or cuddly and he'll be really sweet to me, but nothing about how much i mean to him?

monday night we had a fight.. because he told me hes going to be busy that week so we aren't going to be able to meet, i asked what he'll be busy with and he said its private! so i said maybe we can just go for ice cream instead of dinner or something so it wont take so long, he said no he cant. so i freaked out, i mean, he is supposed to want to right? he can't even spare one hour in a week for me and he cant even explain what it is thats keeping him so busy? (this was online on chat)

then i called him (he had said not to call at that time coz he was in a meeting - but i needed to speak with him) and he hung up and didn't bother to contact me until 2 full days later when we met on chat again during which time he talked to me nooormally like nothing had gone wrong. i talked normally as well because i decided these issues should be discussed face to face.

so we haven't met yet, and i'm feeling completely dissatisfied. i am a little surprised at how upset i am with him, because i was never this unhappy with our relationship.

he needs to show me more WANT, more intensity, but that is not something you can force someone to have right?? he either has ir or he doesn't right??

he really is generally a VERY busy person.. works 7 days a week.. everyday until 7 or 8 in the evening.. so he really doesnt have much time on his hands..

but i need more! what should i do? what should i say to him? what do you think of this whole thing??

[**Sapphire**]

Best thing to do here is to have a talk with him. Ask him how he feels about your relationship. It's been a year & he hasn't shown you that he cares about you or has told you he loves you? Something doesn't sit right with me.

Not to mention that he hasn't spent much time with you & then is keeping something from you.

You don't have to force being "lovey dovey" on him, but you can talk to him about it & explain to him how it makes you feel when he's not showing he cares to you.

[Tony]

hi Ocean
your bf might be busy but that is no excuse to treat you like that he needs to be open with you.

as for him saying its private that is not a very fair thing to say to you

he should be able to talk to you about anything

when you called him while he was in a meeting he could have said to you sorry I will ring you back later I am a little busy right now.

as for him not saying he loves you some men are like that but having said that I think you may need to talk to him face to face even say to him that you would like more intensity.

ok he is busy at work 24/7 but that does not stop him from picking up the phone and seeing you say like for an hour or two.

as you have said you need more....you really need to have a talk with him and also ask him what he wants with your relationship..

I hope this helps you

[aussiecoffee007]

well, i think if youve been exclusively dating for a year... and havent said the i love you thing yet... maybe you two should re-evaluate your relationship and how much you mean to each other.
some guys just dont like sharing how much a girl means to them, because they are afraid of getting hurt--it hurts all the more when the girl knows how much she means, you know?

i think that was really strange of him to say "its private"... he shoudl tell you, he should be open with you in a relationship especially of that amount of time... yeah that was pretty rude of him to not want to even spend like 30 mins with you just getting ICE cream or something... i think he can MAKE room in his schedule for something like that... and the hanging up on you and not contacting you til 2 DAYS LATER--he should have either not picked up, texted you that he was busy, or called you right when the meeting ended! there is no reason to wait 2 dyas.
i get the work thing, and he might be just stressed... but if this is ongoing its definitley not okay.. i would have a serious talk with him