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View Full Version : Because of past experiences...i can't confess...


jaeheeleee
11-22-2006, 08:51 PM
WARNING!: THIS IS PRETTY LONG. PLEASE, DON'T TAKE THIS AS A JOKE, I'M REALLY LOST AND CONFUSED AND I NEED YOU ALL TO HELP ME OUT HERE. please, don't give me simple answers.. thanks much =]

* = names have been changed

So, there's this guy. (haha sound familiar?) The first time I saw Dave*, he caught my eye. I don't know what it is about him that caught me, but he did. I was interested, Very interested. Knowing me, I like people easily, I like people for a really long time, get hurt easily, and it takes me even longer to get over people. Back to the story.....We quickly became friends and over the past few months, we got to know eachother really well. We chill almost everyday after school and almost every weekend as well.

As we talked and got to know eachother better, I found out that he's the type that can like someone VERY easily, like myself. About two months ago, he liked my friend, which was the time that I realized that I began to really like Dave. At first, he told me that he only had interest in the girl, Sam*, But soon, he grew to REALLY like her. like REALLY. I know that when Dave likes someone, he gives his all. They decided to go out, and that was the time that I decided to forget about him. Since he was taken and all. After only going out for two weeks, they broke up because Sam thought the relationship was "moving too fast". However, the real reason was that she found someone else. Well actually, went back to an ex boyfriend. She basically played with his heart, and let it get mangled up. When his heart broke, mine broke even more.

As Dave was hurting deep inside, I was the one there for him. He'd call me at 3 am because he was hurting and wasnt able to sleep, and I'd be there to listen him vent, rant, scream, and everything. He called me about three times a day so he could get his mind off of her. My shoulder was the shoulder he leaned on, I was the one he talked to about everything. I was the one who stood by him when everyone else didn't. I've seen him at his happiest moments, and I've seen him at his worst. Eventually, he did get over her and eventually, I began to like him, once again.

Now, Dave and I chill more and more. More than ever. As if the time after school we spend together is not enough. He would ask me to go on late night walks (11pm - midnight ish) with him, we sit together on the bus (he lives in my neighborhood), we go to the playground in our development and chill and we even go to movies, sometime with friends-sometimes without. Either way, we'd end up sitting next to eachother, not pay any attention to the movie, and just talk: whispering, body language, texting.....We literally talk about everything. And each day, we still have so much more to say to eachother. He gives me his sweatshirts/ jackets when I'm cold, even if means that he has to be walking outside in 40* weather with only a long sleeve shirt. (we'd share it since he was freezing as well) He's such a gentleman. Just the little things he does, makes me fall even harder. Just the other night, during one of our walks, his hand brushed mine like 5 times and we literally walked with his arm around my shoulders. And thats what made my insides burnnnnnnn.

Only a few of my friends know about my situation. Ive been talking to them about this for the past week, a couple thinks that he likes me in return and that I should confess my feelings, and others say that its better to just forget about him and move on so I dont ruin a good friendship. I'm just so confused. I really want to be with him, but I'm afraid of everything because of past experiences. I've tried forgetting about him before, and I thought it worked. But the feelings keep coming back, stronger each time.

In the past, I've confessed a couple times before, however each time, I always got rejected. Ive never had a boyfriend before, and I'm hoping that he could be my first one. Our school's winter formal is coming up in a couple weeks and I really want to go with him, hoping that maybe I can confess there. Right now, I'm dateless and I really want to go with him. Not only cause I like him, but also because I think he'll be a really fun date. Because he doesnt know about my feelings, he's trying to hook me up with one of his best friends, who somewhat has alot of interest in me. (I think that may be a reason why he might not be doing anything.) He wants me to hook him up with a girl for a date, but everytime he asks me that, I want to burst out and tell him everything. Its just really hard.

I honestly thought about all that I could. All the what ifs. But then again, they're what if's. They're not the truth. I'm scared of the truth. I'm not really sure what I want more: A relationship with him, or just to remain in a position of being one of his close close friends.

You all tell me, what you think is the best decision for me. I'm not saying to make the decision for me, just what you think.

I'm sorry that its long, but I needed to let it ALL out.. I thank you all in advance for reading this and helping me =]

Tuxie
11-23-2006, 04:02 PM
To quote a famous saying... "'Tis better to have loved, than to never loved at all."

Ya know, *Dave may be trying to fix you up with another date simply because he doesn't want to ruin your friendship either. He may not think that you feel anything more of him than a friend. The winter formal would be a perfect time to express these things to him.

I think you need to sit *Dave down, and have a 'heart to heart' talk with him. Tell him how you feel... tell him everything. Express to him your fears about the whole friendship/love thing... along with how he makes you feel inside. Share with him how you don't want to ruin a good friendship by throwing a serious relationship into the mix, but that you needed to try. I think he'll appreciate your honesty, either way it goes.

Thanks for the long post. I hope my thoughts will help you decide. Let us know how it turns out. Chin up! Carpe Diem! :)

audreycsmith
11-24-2006, 02:58 AM
Dear Jae: Thank God you live in the 2000. Now you must take your friend by the hand, tell him your feelings about him. He might be shocked, and then he may not. You have nothing to lose. He's just a friend right now, and he won't leave you because, you expressed your feelings. It is too soon for him to get involve with someone new, that includes you. So give him time. He isn't moving out of your town yet.

Just like people that take baby steps when they are blind, or not familiar with their surroundings, you will take those steps too when it comes to this man. Don't badger him. You may lose him. Tell him no matter what he feels about you, you will still be his friend. Better than be a friend, than nothing at all, right?

Sinc:

audreycsmith@verizon.net

You can chat with me there also.

singerlizzy02
11-25-2006, 01:58 AM
Say, "I'm not into going to a dance with someone I don't know too well. Hey, why don't we go together?" And he'll say, "Sure." lolz Problem solved. It's not like he's gonna be repulsed by the idea. It's just a dance. Dances suck anyway. Whenever I went to dances, people usually just sat and talked. So, maybe it would be better to go with Dave and talk to him, rather than go with his friend and not be comfortable and end up being rude by ignoring him.

audreycsmith
11-25-2006, 05:01 PM
Well, how is it going? Are you involved with your male friend yet (as a bf/gf type of relationship? You must be a Scorpio. You sound just like me. I carried on long relationships in my life. My marriage has been the longest. Twenty-four years now. The other relationships I had went on for about 7 or 8 years each. If you want to keep this guy in your life, and he is not willing yet to acknowledge you, you must quietly sit on the back burner until he sees the light (you). Well, maybe by then, you won't want him anymore than just a friend. Valentines Day is around the corner though, so if he doesn't subcum to your way of thinking and acting, you will have your chance to express yourself to him.

Good luck, audreycsmith@verizon.net