What is wrong with me?

[Dimes1684]

Hello everyone... I am new to this whole advice forum and I hope you can help me. Well my ex and I went out for about a year and a half and up until a year ago we always seemed to run into each other and go out then something would come up as always (like a fight or commitment issues with him) and we would go our seperate ways.

He was my first love and I always thought we would work things out like we always did. But 5 months after we stopped seeing each other my friend called me to tell me he was engaged to someone I knew! He took her on a tv show and asked her to marry him. Very cheesy I think. But I was completely devistated. I cried for about a week. I was furious that I found out from someone other than him. How could he tell me that he loved me and then 5 months later love someone else? Why am I not over him? He is not sitting home crying when he thinks about me, so why do I? I have dated other guys but just never had those exciting feelings that I had when I was with him. How do I get over someone, who is over me?

[Tuxie]

Hi Dimes1684, and welcome.

I'm sorry you're going through all this. First of all, there's nothing wrong with you. You just were madly in love with this guy. Nothing wrong with that at all. Tuxgal and I talked about your situation some... here's what we came up with.

Obviously, this guy's level of love and commitment to you didn't match yours. If he's running out and getting engaged FIVE months after you, he's not agonizing over you... like you said. The sooner you realize this, the better off you'll be. It's tough, we know... it won't be easy to get over him. But once you realize that his level of feelings didn't match yours... it might make it a little easier to move on.

You say you've dated others, but haven't had that same 'exciting feelings' for anyone else. Could it be that you just haven't given anyone else a true chance?

Hope this helps you. :)

[audreycsmith]

Dear Dimes: Yes, that is what you were in with him. An up and down relationship, but the sex was great. You had laughs with him, and you had tears as well. He is a wishy-washy individual, been hurt from past relationships, and doesn't want to get hurt again. You, he found, he fell in love with, but he doesn't want to commit to you, and that you must accept. He will get eventually divorced. Men like him do that, and then find that they must go out and conquer the next person they meet. These type of people will be unhappy in relationships and just should remain single. Lesson learned. Now it is time for you to find the right person so that you will be happy. Go check out your neighboring places of interests. A lot of singles frequent those areas. Good luck to you and yours.

Start chanting for the things you want. It works. Nam, Myoho, Renge, Kyo. Find out where the SGI Headquarters is in the area in which you live. Read about it on the net. Good luck again, and Nam, Myoho, Renge, Kyo.

Sincerely,

audrey c. smith