How should I handle this situation?

[Toodie81]

My parents will be visiting us this Thanksgiving weekend. We have made plans for that weekend for a month already. However, last week, my boyfriend's mom called and wanted him to spend Thanksgiving with her instead (in another city 6 hours driving time away). This will be the first Thanksgiving since his dad died so she wants all her kids to be there. His sister is going up to her for that weekend regardless already. When he told her he had plans, she started yelling and crying so now he's ditching me and our plans with my parents. I really want to be understanding of his situation and her situation, but my first reaction when he cancelled on me is furious... This is not the first time he ever make plans with me and cancel out at the last minute because his mom called and wants him to visit her instead. His mom doesn't like me so being around me isn't an option for her, the reason, I don't know, all my boyfriend ever said when I asked him is that "she's just not feeling well"... Anyway, that's her opinion and I respect that, so I let him drive up to see her by himself every other weekend. However, I just want him to stay back and spend Thanksgiving with me since my parents will be visiting, this is their once a year trip to me since they will be visiting my brother for Christmas. I want to be a reasonable person, but at the same time, I felt really hurt because I'm always a second choice, I just felt like he doesn't respect our relationship enough. What should I do in this situation?

[Tuxgal]

It's a tough situation...I can see both sides of it. Nothing is going to get resolved overnight as far as your relationship or lack thereof with his mom. Is he willing to compromise at least some? What would he think of maybe spending a couple days with his mom and a couple days with your folks or something? I'm sorry he seems to keep cancelling on you. But, in this instance you kinda got to try and see things from his point of view. His dad just died, his mom seems controlling. But what she wants is reasonable enough, she wants to spend Thanksgiving with her kids. It seems you do need to sit down with your bf and ask him what causes him to cancel so much. Good luck. Hope things work out for you. :)